oui, je t’aime

i lied im not sleeping im thinking about sugar daddy shane buying a $250,000 watch for ilya and ilya wearing it everyday and then they’re getting ready in the locker room for practice and someone whistles super loud and is like “damn cap, you spent my entire salary on that watch or what” and ilya takes it off gently and places it in his duffle and looks up at all the boys looking at him “no, shane bought it for me.” and then everyone is hootin and hollering and shane walks in from the physio room smiling at the antics asking everyone what’s going on and someone is like “roz just told us you’re his sugar daddy.” and shane rolls his eyes and starts getting his skates out “so i like buying pretty things for my pretty husband, sue me.” and ilya is like “you think i am pretty?” and shane frowns cutely “of course baby.” and then the entire locker room starts gagging and someone yells out GAAAY and then ilya is like “i will show you gay! Shane take off your pants.” And then shane throws a sock at him. anyways they fuck after practice and shane calls Ilya his pretty boy when he rides him.

Everyday I live in fear of the HR fandom getting ever closer to Sitcom Dad!Ilya and Sitcom Mom!Shane being what we are forced to digest as fandom staples

I get very annoyed by some of the posts that portray Ilya as an idiot. He's a giant party boy jock not fucking stupid. He's canonically very witty and clever in a second language and good at his job. 😒 also Shane is his enabler and competitor not his bitch wife. Shane wouldn't make him sleep on the couch, he'd be egging him on.

thinking about shane and ilya at some nhl alumni event years in the future….their relationship is old news and literally no one bats an eyelash at them anymore plus they’re staying in some penthouse suite where nobody can hear them but anyway ilya is fucking shane through the mattress and covers his mouth with one hand like “shush hollander you’re going to get us caught” and shane comes so hard he blacks out

the chasm between who Irina actually was and who Irina was to Ilya is massive and cavernous and such a fun place to play in if you're a sicko freak who likes to hurt your own feelings

ilya promising children cash if they win knowing he's gonna let them win and then asking shane for money because he doesn't have his wallet. he wasn't even an annoying husband yet but he was letting shane know his potential

also wiggling his wet ass hair on shane’s body like this is annoying bf textbook 101 and shane’s just fucking into it lmao

Drunk Shane is a runner, stoned Shane is sitting in one spot and staring at the wall, and crossfaded Shane is greening out focusing on the way he can feel the roots of his teeth in his skull

Ever since I was a little boy I knew I needed to be deeply ashamed of my desires wants and of course also needs

i'm like. actually on the verge of bursting into tears on this fine monday afternoon. what do you MEAN ilya spent his entire life feeling like he was lazy, unappreciated, expendable only for shane to be like. i wanted to see how you were doing. i don't know that side of you at all. you can talk to me. you don't need to apologize. you matter to me. i love you. oh my god i love you so much. what do you MEAN shane spent his entire life feeling like he was misunderstood, inadequate, uninteresting only for ilya to be like. you make me curious. i want to make this good for you. tell me what you want so that i can give it to you. i can't stop thinking about this slow fucking hockey player with beautiful freckles. it's scary but you're brave. i love you. i'm so in love with you and i don't know what to do about it. what do you MEANNNNNN

hudson williams saying shane hollander is autistic and that he based his performance on his neurodivergent dad, and connor storrie saying that shane's autistic traits are things that make him charming... oh you will both be reincarnated as a beautiful lotus flowers