Hey boss. Sorry, I'm not gonna make it to standup today, something came up. Yeah, I found the crystal. It was in a cave in the middle of a desert somewhere in Arizona, and as soon as I fell into it I knew what I'd found. The darkness of the stuffy air under the earth suddenly faded as it floated off the ground and everything was lit with a faint yet still somehow still blinding blue light. Yeah, I'm gonna merge with it. I'll be torn apart, but not dying like I was still made of flesh, but more like a caterpillar making a cocoon. After some unknown days or weeks or years merged with the crystal, it'll shatter, the pieces fading into inert quartz, and only I will remain. Not human anymore, but something greater. No, I don't think I'll be able to fix the downloads page while I'm in the crystal, you'll have to reassign that jira ticket to Steven or Ali instead. I'll let you know if when I get out of the crystal, yeah. Yep, I already marked the time off on the shared Google calendar. Thanks, I'll talk to you later. Oh and can you tell Janice I won't be able to make it to the company lunch next Friday? Thanks.