some emo rodent

it fucking pisses me off so much that the pieces of exodia card art don’t connect together in any way

I will never get over this joke Futurama was so important

love wins

You can’t convince me this is not a reference to that “ra pa pa ra pa pa paaaa torololoololo ra pa pa” guy

Is your fridge running?

i think yall are just pretending to have an excess of black bile so the doctors will give you more leeches

Excuse me do you know how many visits to the Physick it took for him to even admit I had black bile at all

man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful? me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity

i hate the neologism “partner” for “person i’m dating”. i have no intention of being a cowboy and nobody will ever be a cowboy to me.

speak for yourself, slim. some of us cowpoke are lookin’ for the right partner to call our own… [twangs acoustic guitar softly as i stare towards the twinkling night sky] don’t see many of them stars where you’re from, eh, city boy? nah. didn’t think so.

the whole gay cousin thing is outdated. i’m gay and i have a gay cousin. there’s two of us. we’re evolving.

I accidentally made eye contact with a mall booth salesperson and barely escaped a 25 minute long skin care demonstration where she tried to trap me in a sale no less than 4 times

The rules of engagement for mall kiosk owners and pokemon trainers are exactly the same