xxvii

Seems to be a recurring problem around here. Getting lost... Guess I could show you.

Yeah, it's a real shocker, I know. Kept my devil horns hidden this whole time. I'm getting real good at it. Guess we'll just have to get married outside, oh no; and if it rains, I guess it'll have to be cancelled--darn. As you can tell, I'm really broken up about it. I mean, you know me, Pip. I'd be fine just signing that certificate and calling you my wife, but I get why we gotta go through all this. Just sometimes people can be a real pain in my ass, and they always end up sucking the fun out of just about everything. Never mind. I don't want to put a damper on what's supposed to be a great time. You pick your maid of honor yet? I got an idea or two for my best man. You think Nathan would say yeah? -- Charlie and Louise Smith. Sounds like I'd have a job in business or something, and you'd be a school teacher. That'd work, wouldn't it? I'd drive one of those nice little cars, and kiss you hello and goodbye every morning after waving to the neighbors... You know, some people dream about a life like that. Not my cup of tea, but hey, I'd try it... Garroway, we're talking about just picking up and disappearing, right? I mean, we could, but, it's probably not the wisest decision... Huh. Won't be able to call you Garroway for much longer. How 'bout that.

Relax Bobby, I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt Lexie. Did you miss my whole “do the right thing Bobby” part of the conversation? Not only that I know how loyal you are to the people closest to you.  I was just giving you a hard time like I always do. Since when do you actually take what I say seriously? If people seriously think that you would actually break Lexie’s heart, I’ll give them a good kick in the butt.  Because I know that you wouldn’t.  Honestly I do.

Now's just... not a good time, okay? Everyone's looking at me like I've got this big grand scheme to screw everything up like I usually do, but I don't. This all means just as much to me as it does to her, but they all have their heads shoved so far up their own asses they can't even see that. If it's not one thing, it's something else, and I'm kind of tired of it. I mean, I haven't done anything to make anyone not trust me in years, so why are they--I don't know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm just under a lot of stress here... It's a lot of pressure.

Now that - I might actually come to see. 

Now that's just a dirty lie, Gallagher.

Come on, does the color really matter? Lexie wouldn’t care so much about the wedding if she didn’t love you. —But ya know while you’re making her happy and all that stuff could ya try and convince her that her bridesmaids would look great in black. Or green. Something other than pink.

I don't think Lexie was planning on picking pink as is... but yeah, I'll try to put in my two cents... Let's be honest here, though. I don't really get a say in any planning stuff that goes on. I kinda just have to show up and hope everything goes according to her plan; and if it doesn't, I gotta be the one to make sure it gets fixed. Her day and all that.

It’s normal to be nervous, I’m sure she’s nervous as well she’s just better at hiding it.

Yeah, I guess.

Ah, yes, definitely. Let me just cut my hair and I’m sure no one will suspect.

See, that's what I like to hear. No questions asked. I wish more people around here had that mindset.

I’m always serious, Frederick.

First of all I would. Secondly I know you wouldn’t because after all you’re Bobby. Always do the right thing Bobby, It was just a me reminding you of what would happen if you did. Because as much as I love you, if you do something stupid, I provide the good kick in the butt, and third of all I would.

Everyone needs to quit with this whole "Bobby's just going to break Lexie's heart" thing. Yeah, I get it. Not a exactly Man of the Year, but honestly, I wouldn't do anything to hurt her, and if that's not painfully clear at the point, I don't know what to do. You just got back and are already threatening me when I haven't even done anything wrong yet--and I'm not going to any time soon.

You're nuts, and I'm basically the anti-Christ. Haven't you heard? I'm going to break your heart, ruin your life, and turn you away from men forever--in case you weren't already aware. Right, if I'm not hearing about all the repercussions of hurting you, I'm hearing about how I am about to spend the rest of my life with the most loud mouthed Garroway there is. There's no middle ground. No one's just happy for us. Everyone's gotta have an opinion. Charlie and Louise... Smith. I look like a Charlie Smith to you, Lou? Yeah, let's run away. You, me and our dogs, lets all just run away and never look back -- at least for a few months.

Wait... You're not here to tell me that not coming would be signing my own death certificate? And here everyone's been telling me all about how you'd blow a gasket and throw a fit. Y'know, cause they all know us better than us these days. Hey, I got it. Let's both not show up and say we did. We could hire doubles, sneak away to California for a while. I'll go by Charlie, you can be Louise or somethin'.

You talkin’ to me? Cause I’m thinkin’ most people will notice.

You sure? I was just thinking of leaving another dummy down there in a wig. I'm sure it'd fly right over their heads.

If ya gonna ask me, I’d be the first t’say ya don’t needa be there. But somethin’ be tellin’ me that she ain’t gonna like that. An’ she gonna get real loud an’ real weird if ya don’t show up, jack.

I think it’d be worse if ya don’t show up at your own wedding, fella.

I was just kiddi--Never mind. Can't you just take my place, and we'll call it a day?

You’re kidding right? She would kill you, she may seem tiny but I think she could kill a man. Now come on Bobby, got some nerves?

Of course I'm kidding... Nerves is a bit of an understatement, you know.