Bullshit and Sass

wade: vanessa used to call me that :(

London-based student Lewis Hornby is a grandson on a mission. When he noticed that his dementia-afflicted grandmother was having trouble staying hydrated, he came up with Jelly Drops—bite-sized pods of edible water that look just like tasty treats.

Each of these colorful “candies” is made up of mostly water, with gelling agents and electrolytes making up just 10% of their composition. Available in a rainbow of colors and presented in packaging reminiscent of a box of chocolates, Jelly Drops are an easy and engaging way to avoid dehydration—a common problem for those suffering from degenerative neurological diseases.

“It is very easy for people with dementia to become dehydrated,” he explains. “Many no longer feel thirst, don’t know how to quench thirst, or don’t have the dexterity to drink.” With this in mind, Hornby set out to find a solution. In addition to seeking advice from psychologists and doctors, he opted to “experience” life with dementia himself through the use of virtual reality tools and a week in a care home.

Once he was familiar with what dementia patients need, he brainstormed what they want. “From my observations, people with dementia find eating much easier than drinking. Even still, it can be difficult to engage and encourage them to eat. I found the best way to overcome this is to offer them a treat! This format excites people with dementia, they instantly recognize it and know how to interact with it.”

Second of all, I’d like to remind everyone that Jell-o counts as a fluid. 

That is, many doctors prescript Jell-o, and Gelatin treats to children and adults who, for whatever reason, have trouble keeping hydrated. Maybe they have jaw issues. Maybe dementia, or they are on a fluid-only diet and drinking broth for weeks is mind-boggling boring. 

Jell-o brand in particular has a lot of sugar added to the packets, however it’s quite straightforward to buy plain gelatin and make low-sugar jelly blobs to snack on for that sweet fruit-pop of hydration.

Soo~ Here we goooo~ 

2 cups juice – Orange juice, grape juice, whatever you want. Fuck, you could even use your favorite blend of tea, or coffee (though coffee, in my experience, needs a little more gelatin to set properly)

Low heat until juice is hot, but before it starts to boil – once you see a bit of bubbles rising, add 2 tablespoons gelatin, and stir gelatin into hot juice until totally dissolved.

Turn off heat

Add another cup and a half of juice (or whatever), stir for another minute or so, then pour into a mold.

You could pour it into ice cube trays, a Tupperware container, or any sort of silicone candy mold.

Cover it, stick in the fridge overnight, and viola~

Bite-sized taste snacks, full of water.

Gelatin is broken down very easily and put to use once in your gut, so it’s fine to eat loads of it, and otherwise you’re just taking mouthfuls of juice… or tea or whatever.

If you want it a bit more sweet, feel free to add sugar or honey to your hot juice… or hot…whatever…

There’s a certain point in conversations with guys when you can tell that’s what he’s thinking. He fell for the sparkly nails and the off-the-shoulder top and he’s expecting you to tell him how your dream is to bike across France with just the clothes on your back. How you like art museums because they feel like the beautiful preservation of long-dead artists’ souls. How you believe humans evolved sight in order to appreciate the infinitely unreachable cascade of stars above.

And at that point you’ve already lost. There’s no graceful way to clarify that you’re actually just a gremlin in a sundress, which you got for $14.99 on the clearance rack at Old Navy while trying to buy socks. That you actually don’t know anything about philosophy or whimsy or world-travel you get anxious taking the subway anywhere new. That you actually really have to go because you already have plans for the evening of lying in a blanket-burrito in bed watching a 49 minute Youtube video review of an anime you’ve never heard of.

He does this ALL the FUCKING time. 

He’s a wanderer. He’ll wander. He can’t not. It’s an itch in his feet and a longing in his heart; it runs counter to all he is, to remain in one place for long. 

But he always turns back up. And then laughs as you’re doing a rune draw to see “What the hell man did I do something wrong?” 

“LULZ NOPE YOUR’RE COOL I HAD SHIT GOING ON.”

“…You could have dropped a message…”

Me: Odin, please show me the way out of this mess

Odin: … can u chill tho

Me: come on please

Odin: No

Me: P L E A S E

Odin: I could help, but honestly you did this to yourself and, consider: what if instead we cracked open a cold one and sat together in stoic silence, mourning your life choices.

Me: … ok fine.