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Tav/reader/partner is autistic, has particularly bad sensory issues that impact their sex life. Astarion pulls the whole "I'll sleep with you for my own gain" thing. But instead of the yes, he's expecting, they get all anxious and shy about it. They want to sleep with him, but they think as soon as they explain theres some hard limits are things that have to be done differently because of their autism, he'll just back out. But they explain anyway, and Astarion is all "well... not my plan but I can work with it"
This results in slower, much more communication driven and careful sex than he's ever had. And suddenly, for the first time in years, it clicks in him. This is what it should be like. Careful at first, proper communication, the focus is on making each other feel good, safe and comfortable. For the first time in years, he enjoys it. Because they're giving him the same careful, communication driven treatment hes giving them. Cue "oops I fell in love with the person I was trying to manipulate"
He ends up genuinely caring for their well-being and comfort during sex, willing to put some of the kinker stuff aside for their comfort. And he gets the same care in return, teaching him to enjoy it again. They get overstimulated? He'll stop. He gets too flashbacky? They stop. Its about comfort, pleaure and trust, and that's how it should be.
Through having to accommodate their sensory issues, and them giving him the same care in return his warped view of sex is rewritten into something healthier.
Astarion getting the vampire equivalent of cuteness aggression towards Tav/Durge and doing that thing cats do where they just sort of put their teeth on you and bite, not enough to actually break skin, but just like. A little nip. It's something the two of them get used to very quickly and honestly they sort of forget how alarming it looks from the outside. The first time they're sitting around the campfire and Astarion just fucking. Leans over and straight up looks like he just bites Tav/Durge's shoulder Gayle damn near falls off the log he's sitting on.
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Summary: having a crush on your travel buddy isn't a bad thing. Said travel buddy revealing himself to be a vampire isn't a bad thing either. By this logic depriving yourself of sleep just to spend a bit more time with him shouldn't be a bad thing either, right? Unfortunately, he doesn't share the same opinion.
A/N: this is a slight AU where Cazador kinda sorta died before he could finish preparations for his ritual (an assassin is a horrible thing, *hides a crossbow behind my back* who would do such an awful thing?), leaving all his spawn running free around the world.
Warnings: typos, fluff
@heartydemon
It should've come to your mind sooner. When you left your home to travel the world before having to settle into the real world like a functioning adult, it never even occured to you that you'd gain such a dangerous travel companion. You've met him in a dark forrest, the tree branches were so dense you couldn't tell if it was day or night. As you were making your way through it you saw a spot of white in the distance. Upon coming closer you could tell it was a man. Pale, shirtless elf with scarred back barely clinging to life. A severed wolf's head layed just out of his reach, its jaws stained with dried blood. Based off of the injuries the man has fought the beast and passed out from exhaustion.
You nursed him back to consciousness and the next thing you knew, he was your travel buddy. His odd behaviour spooked you a bit at first. Moments when he seemed like he forgot to breathe, his strange aversion to sun and inability to cross rivers made you have your suspitions about him. They were only confirmed after you woke up one day with what seemed like a bitemark on your neck and your new travel buddy, Astarion, full of energy unlike before. Your travel friend was a vampire.
The rest is history pretty much. The two of you have been on your journey for almost a year now. Visiting places no one has ever explored, feeding and befriending wild beasts in forests no one dared to enter, drinking in pubs and taverns as if there was no tomorrow. Throughout this all Astarion was by your side. At first finding a way for both of you to travel with his sun sensitivity was difficult but after buying a special coat for him the two of you managed. Still you hated the thought of him getting bored while you had your very necessary eight hours of sleep. He seemed to sacrifice much more for you than you for him. It was time to change that.
"Aren't you going to sleep?" He nudged at your shoulder. You made a small deal with him: if he didn't find any animal to feed off of that day, you could give him some of your blood. So far he hasn't drained you to death and he has always taken care of you afterwards. Even now he has brought you berries and fruit he's found in the dark forest you set up your tent at.
You shook your head. "No, I'm fine. Where did you even find these?" You picked up a big crimson apple. "I swear I didn't see any apple tree anywhere."
He smirked and played with one of the apples, throwing it up into the air. "If I told you my secret, you'd have no need for me anymore. Who would I travel with otherwise?"
"Come on, that's not true! I'd have no fun without you around."
"Oh, so I'm just a court jester to you?" He put his hand dramatically on his chest in mock offense. "I'm wounded Y/n, wounded!"
You rolled your eyes but he wasn't stopping. He leaned into your shoulder making you almost buckle under his weight. "Your words are worse than a stake to the heart. My last moments have come," he leaned even further and further as you giggled at his antics. Eventually he layed his whole body across yours as he made gasping and choking sounds until he stilled completely, leaving your laughter as the only sound around.
"Seriously though, you should go to sleep."
He still hasn't gotten up from you. He did throw an arm around your shoulders at taverns and barns but he was rarely this cuddly. You feared he'd detach from you if you went to the tent to sleep.
You shook your head. "I'm not sleepy yet. I'll be fine."
"You're usually on the verge of passing out whenever I feed from you," he lifted his head and layed his chin at your sternum. "Maybe I went too lightly today."
You instinctively covered the fresh marks on your neck with your hand. "Nuh uh, don't be greedy."
He chuckled and to your dismay got himself up from your chest. "Alright, alright. Then what do you suggest we do, miss I'm-not-sleepy-yet?"
Cuddle. "Stargaze? You could tell me some stories from your time before you became a vampire."
He shrugged and layed down beside you, his shoulder touching yours. "Fine by me. Most of those stories will be boring bureaucracy so it will lull you to sleep in no time."
He was right. His life from before wasn't eventful but you could tell he missed the small pleasures such as feeling the sun on his skin or playing with others in a cold river on a summer day as a child. Eventually his calming voice did make you sleepy but only for a minute. The sun began to rise and both of you needed to find the safety of shadows.
This has gone on for couple of days. Travel during the day under the shadows, sleep at night got tradet into a nightly strolls around the city you campedin or stargazing with Astarion telling you storiesof his youth. With every stargazing session you couldn't help but notice how closer Astarion sat to you every time. You would've gladly maintajned this regime forever if it wasn't for your biology. When your body couldn't stay awake anymore you took a quick nap while Astarion meditated but it never took more than an hour and your body was never satisfied.
One day you took it a little too far. He was so excited about the book your brought him from a city and kept telling you about it. He spoke with such passion and glee, it warmed your heart for him. Your cursed your weak human body for demanding sleep allthe time. Your eyes stung while open, head pounded and your knees buckled nearly every step.
"Whoa there," Astarion caught you before your body could fall. "I knew many people go weak in the knees from my presence but this much? Don't complain about my ego when you're the one stroking it," he jested.
Being in his arms felt so safe.... so comforting.... if only you could close your eyes and- NO. No you can't. We still have to be active! You'll get a nap later but now you have to stay awake.
"I'll be fiiiine~" you slurred as if you were drunk. Is it even possible to be light headed from the lack of sleep?
"Hmm, don't sound like iiiiiit~" he mimicked you, his voice jumping up an octave in a way that made you smile. You should suggest singing to him. His voice has an amazing range, he wouldbe great at it. He could teach our future children too. THE HELLS AM I THINKING?!
You shook your head in a desperate need to reset your mind but that only made the light headedness worse. So much worse you needed to hold his arm for a support. "I'm fine. This is nothing, just maybe some exhaustion. That last hill really took a toll on me."
"Honey, we're in a valley."
"Are we though?"
His eyes narrowed in suspition. "Y/n, when was the last time you slept?"
"Huh? Oh, eeeh, I took a nap while you did your weird sleeping thing. I told you it's the hill-"
"That doesn't count as a sleep. Hells, for a human like you I wouldn't even count it as a nap. Answer me my question: when was the last time you slept."
By that point he has gotten a hold of both of your shoulders, forcing you to look him in the eyes. All you could feel aside from your brain eating itself was the preasure of his big hands on your shoulders and how comforting would itbe if he put his whole weight on top of you and grounded you like those duvets filled with goose feathers back home. Gods you were so tired.
"Whenever I sneeze my eyes close. There," you answered and grinned at him, hoping to make him smile too at your stupid joke.
"Okay, that's it. I'm revoking your night walk privilages," he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and lead you towards your set up tent. "You need to sleep."
You tried stopping him but your weakness wasn't much of a help. "I'm fine though! I can go on for a bit longer. You should take a nap in couple of hours, right? I can stay awake till then!"
"Oh yeah? And why would you do that?"
"To spend time with you vampi, why else."
"Vampi?" He chuckled.
Oh shit. That's how you call him in your head when he's being cute. Your hand shot up to cover yourmouth in case some other even more stupid secret would like to exit.
Astarion didn't seem to mind the nickname though. A good sign. "You act drunk."
"Am not!"
By that time Astarion has given up on dragging you to the tent. He scooped you up bridal style and carried you the rest of the way, which was literally two steps. He got on one knee to fit into your low tent and layed you down on the bear skin he got for you. "We'll talk once you sober up."
Before he could pull away you clawed at his shirt. "But what will you do while I sleep?"
He hummed and looked around, as if he could see through your tent walls. "Maybe take a stroll. Annoy a squirrel or two."
"I can come with you and-"
"Absolutely not, you need sleep."
"And you need a companion. I'll sleep I promise but first let me spend some time with you. It always makes me so sad that you have nothing to do for hours while I'm unconscious. You already do so much for me, let me do something for you too and let me stay awake a little while longer," you pleaded with him, though you weren't sure which one was the real Astarion since you started seeing double. Both of them blinked at your confession, unable to find words.
At last, he did find them. "Do you know what's the number one thing I miss from my life the most?"
"The sun?"
"Well, yeah but that's the top of the list. Sleep and dreaming is a close second."
You tilted your head in a silent question. What could he possibly missabout sleeping? Humans sleep so much through their lives they miss out on at least 50% of it. If that was a feature you could delete from your body you wouldn't even miss it.
"You don't know what it's like to not sleep," he continued, "the nights are quiet and long. Sometimes when I'm the only one awake it feels like I'm doing something wrong. There's not even much for me to do since everything seems way too loud at night."
"That's why I don't want to sleep," you interrupted him, "to keep you company. So you wouldn't feel lonely."
He smiled softly. "I appreciate it. But that's not what I'm trying to say. From what I remember sleep was amazing. A bliss waiting for you after a whole day. When your body and mind could rest under the covers that felt like the softest clouds and then waking up refreshed and ready for the day. The fact that you can hallucinate through the whole deal is just a bonus."
You giggled. Maybe he was right. It would still make you guilty of boring him to full death but you can't argue with your body anymore. You desperately need to close your eyes. And so you did. But before all conciousness could leave your body you managed to mumble a soft 'stay'. Not even knowing if Astarion even heard it or not you let the darkness fully take you away.
*
The next morning started out really slow. Unusual for a pair of travelers who would've been packing up the tent and already deciding which road to take next. Whan was the last time you even had a lazy morning?
There was a comforting weight laid across your chest, a steady breathy rhythm tickling the nape of your neck. Was it-? There's no-?
As carefully as you could you turned your head around and sure enough Astarion was laying behind you, chest to back, arm pulling your torso close to his, puffing into your hair.
He must've heard your heart picking up its speed. His eyes shot open and his arm nearly flew away from your body. "I-I-"
"Huh?" Was all you managed to say.
After a while he regained his composure. "Ehm, where are my manners? Good morning sleeping beuty. Had a nice sleep? Some wonderful dream?"
"You cuddled me," you ignored his flirtatious attempts that were obviously his mask he puts up when he feels uncomfortable.
His flirty smirk dropped, revealing another mask: annoyance. "Yes and what off it? I got cold and I had a perfect little heating pad right next to me. What else was I supposed to do? Go out of the tent and get a tan?"
"Did you, uhm, did you like it?"
"What?"
"I asked if you liked it."
Astarion crossed his arms and glamced around your tent a bit. Maybe hoping he'll find some time travel device so he could escape this awkward situation.
"And if I did?"
Your heart skipped a beat. "Then we could cuddle a lot more. I always liked having some weight on me while I slept."
He hung his head low and let out one of his cynical chuckles. "Cuddle time with a vampire. Now that's a first."
"And how about a cuddle with a friend?"
He slowly looked up at you. "My fangs would be dangerously close to you all the time."
"You fangs have saved my life countless times before. And they are in me once in a while as well. They don't scare me."
"My body is cold as a tombstone. I will only steal your body heat."
"The summer days have already come and I feel like they will only get worse. Having a cooling pad would be a luxury."
Even after all of these arguements you could see Astarion wasn't exactly persuaded.
"Well," you said as ylu stood up, "guess I'll have to go without sleep for as long as I can then. Can't be helped."
Now that got Astarion's attention. "Oh no you don't," and he softly tackled you back into a laying position but now with your head on his chest. It was uncanny, to lay on someone's chest and not hear the steady rhythm of the heart. His chest vibrated as he spoke up. "I'm not about to let you throw away one aspect of living I'd do anything to get back. Well,one of the aspects but you know what I mean. Now close your eyes and sleep some more. That thing you had was merely a nap."
You smiled triumphantly and cirkled his chest with your arms. The lack of any kind of noise disturbed you though.
"Astarion?"
"Yes, dear?"
The nickname alone kickstarted your heart, you won't be able to fall asleep now. But if you told him he might stop the cuddling. Instead you gave him a simple request: "Can you talk?"
He hummed deeply. "About?"
"Anything."
He nodded, the tip of bis chin bumping into the crown of your head a few times. And then he spoke. He recited poetry, retold you stories from the novels he's read. Described the place he used to live in. You weren't even sure what he was describing at the end anymore. Listening to his voice while being cuddled by him was like being walked into a dream. A dream you never want to wake up from. And for the first time in a while you became excited for sleep time. Especially if it included Astarion's form wrapped around you the whole time.
Soooooo I've finally gotten to watch Project Hail Mary.
It was great. 100% want to watch it again.
It was a cinematic masterpiece. Stunning visuals. Beautiful scenes. Besutiful chracaters. Beautiful story.
I need to read the book so bad but i am a poor reader.
I dont actually draw fanart for stuff very often. even stuff i absolutly adore and will watch, read, or play a million times over. So how i drew this, I dont even know. I was mid uploading my science homework (that im a little behind in) in the early evening. Next minuete its nearly 11pm and i'm knee deep in a nearly completed drawing (which i havent managed to draw anything other then wips and sketches for the last couple weeks) and now theres this. And the only connecting memory i have in between those two moments was " I hope my friend (whos very into PHM and been waiting for me to watch it) likes this. I should ask them their fav qoute" and suddenly that was my motovation to finish it but i dont think it started out that way but i also have no fathomable idea where i even got the drawing idea from cause my pinterest fyp has been filled with ducklings and nothing else the past few days so. Yeah.
Also that quilt sucks (in a good way) omyword, i didnt even commit to doing it properly and had to scour a bit to find a hood enough refference which you cant ecen see well in the end drawing lol.
I blacked out and locked in in the wrong way, bruuuuh i was supposed to get weeks uni work done.
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