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@captain-toewss

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Do you know how hard it is to live with a cat that has the intelligence level of literally like a 3 year old but the pure chaos of a high ranking demon?
He’s learned to open the lazy Susan and won’t stop clawing open the flour and rolling in it like a little chinchilla
Criminal charges
Hey hey hey HEY
He’s been CRAWLING INTO THE BOTTOM CABINETS to TEAR OPEN THE INSTANT POTATOES and EAT BAGS AND BAGS OF THEM I’m livid but also impressed.
Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.
He’s not playing with it
He’s eating it.
I can tell because the bags are nearly empty except for a few small clumps.
I knew he loves mashed potatoes. I just didn’t know the extent he’d go to to get them.
We had him tested and in the course of that vet visit he stole
6 tips
3 of the ear light cover things
Our other cats collar
the ear bud of the vets stethoscope 
several hearts
a plastic glove
the vet techs hair tie
Also yeah he’s fine he just likes to steal
Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff
This is his ledge
His ledge is taller then my husband who is 6’2”
I am 5’5”
I have to get the step ladder out once a week and see what Orange Sherbert has taken to his ledge for safe keeping. It’s usually the remote.
Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.
How about uh Ralph Ahn passing? What a sad thing. Did you have any idea he was in his 90’s by the way?…What a misread on my part. I thought he was in his 70’s…He doesn’t talk on screen obviously as we all know but he was a really present actor and he was joking in between…A really solid actor…He was so good even though he didn’t talk…He was probably late 80’s while he was doing that… If I’m in my late 80’s there’s no chance i’ll be doing anything…Ralph in his 90’s is me in my 50’s. -Jake Johnson
#Andrew Garfield: The Amazing Spiderman Middle Child
Andrew???

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This is one of my favorite posts because that cat’s fucking name is fucking meatloaf
Let us just appreciate that this person’s dad didn’t know when they would be home and so he couldn’t plan for them to be able to join the family for dinner, but he knew with no doubts that dear sweet Meatloaf staying in that exact position for hours was an absolute in this scenario. Truly, that cat was named well.
one of my favorite posts on tumblr over the course of 5 fucking years.. clearly i need a life
Meatloaf is a reliable cat and did not steal the money for selfish reasons. A rare friend.
I love Meatloaf. :)
Bless Meatloaf
Reblog Money Meatloaf to get surprise $40
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Tom Felton and Emma Watson at the Harry Potter 20th Anniversary Reunion: Behind The Scenes Footage
Dylan Larkin | Mic’d Up
Diet culture is hilarious and rad actually
that beer mug is also german mustard jar i think?
there is something very wrong with you :/
NO normal person sees a glass of beer and thinks "that looks like a mustard jar"

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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CHRIS & MIKA | it’s the little moments ( NYR @ ARI. 12.15.2021. )
Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)
MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck. Not bad luck. I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!
“See him face”
I sure fucking do see him face
Him face
Reblog him face for good luck in 2021
Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)
wpg @ sj - oct 30, 2021
ot goal scorer
wpg @ sj - oct 30, 2021
ot goal scorer

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Nathan Bastian in the penalty box
(SEA @ PHI 10/18/2021)
this is so fucking funny