When he looks at Billy, itโs like everything heโs ever felt in his entire life is crammed tight inside his chest, making it hard to breathe.
Itโs like looking at the sun. Or the flash of a camera. Maybe even the sunlight rippling off of the lake.
Either way, he canโt find the words to describe exactly how Billy makes him feel.
The flash of anger in those blue eyes, the way his canines show when he smiles just big enough, the freckles on his nose bunching together as he scrunches his face in disgust, the way his tongue runs over his teeth, the way his laugh sounds in Steveโs car, the sleepy murmur of his voice in Steveโs ear late at night, the heaviness of his limbs as theyโre thrown across Steveโs body.
Itโs like heโs drowning when Billyโs around.
Which is ironic, he supposes, as he thinks of those red swim shorts that come out from June to August.
And yet, when heโs gasping for air when Billyโs kissing him, he doesnโt want to be helped, or saved, or anything.
He holds his breath and closes his eyes, feels the tightness of his chest as Billy pecks at his lips and holds him close, mumbling something dirty-sweet into his ear as he grabs Steveโs ass, like he always does.
His chest has been tight and full for so long, heโs used to being short of breath, but heโs breathless when he hears Billy mumble something new.
โI think,โ the blond whispers into his ear, so low that Steve can barely hear him over the buzz of nothing, โI love you.โ
He feels like his ribcage is cracked, suddenly. His eyes are wide and his heart is beating quick, not fast.
Billy pulls back just enough to look him in the eye, a vulnerability there thatโs poorly hidden under his usual bravado as he huffs, โAnd you better love me, too, or Iโll beat your ass.โ
He laughs. He canโt help it. Itโs startled out of him, his eyes are wet as he grins and shakes his head in amused disbelief, which makes Billy eye him.
โI love you, too,โ Steve whispers, pulling the blond close.
As their lips meet again, the crack in his ribcage bursts open, and then he can finally breathe.
