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Hello. I clean houses for a living. Here are some places in Your Dwelling that it's probably been a while since you've thought about cleaning. This is a judgement-free, non-exhaustive list of crap you should maybe get around to soon 👍
Bathroom:
☆ Front and base of the toilet (they get nasty and dusty really quick)
☆ Faucet (take a toothbrush and some all-purpose bathroom cleaner and give it a scrub to remove plaque from toothpaste and hard water buildup, then a wipedown. You will literally be shocked by the difference if you haven't cleaned it in a while)
☆ Consider removing the toilet seat and cleaning underneath it/getting at the hinges with a grout brush (in case you didn't know: it's fastened to the toilet by two large usually plastic screws under the tabs at the back, with nuts on the underside. Just unscrew the nuts and you can pop the whole seat off)
☆ Sink drains: they gather gunk and pink mold around and underneath the rim. You can loosen shit and scrub it away with some all-purpose cleaner and a toothbrush/grout brush (PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND BUY SOME SMALL GROUT BRUSHES)
☆ The floor: Mop that damn floor. Get in the corners and wipe down your baseboards too. This is best accomplished on your hands and knees if you have that capability. If not its whatever
Kitchen:
☆ Underneath your range hood! Theres grease filters under there that you can soak in degreaser and then scrub clean in the sink. Grease also likes to just hang out in that area, but if you spray it down with Fantastik or Method heavy duty degreaser it'll wipe right off.
☆ If you have stainless steel appliances, consider buffing them out once a month with stainless steel cleaner and a dry cloth. Wiping off those fingerprint smudges and fridge water drip stains is soooo satisfying
☆ Sink! Wash that sink! If it's stainless steel, use Bar Keeper's Friend powder on a wet surface to buff it out, with a Scrub Daddy or something, and get it looking shiny and new again. This can also be done on ceramic sinks - dirt magnetizes to any minor scratches in white ceramic, and giving it a scrub will erase those dark scratches.l
☆ Cabinets. Wipe that shit down brother. Especially the cabinets closest to your range!! If you have heavy grease buildup on your cabinets, try using something scritchy like a Scrub Daddy with some all-purpose cleaning spray to try and get it off. Failing that, do a spot test with some Fantastik etc degreaser spray to make sure you wont irrevocably fuck up your cabinets (theyre technically not meant to be used on porous surfaces like wood but sometimes a little rebellion is necessary) and if it doesnt melt the paint off then spray a cloth with it and give them a wipedown.
☆ You need to do a fridge cleanout. I know you do. After you clean out your fridge, take advantage of all that newfound space and wipe down the shelves with my best friend Fantastik and the sponge side of a Scrub Mommy. Im not sponsored or anything the shit is just goated
☆ Also on the list of shit you really dont want to do but need to: Clean the oven. Do not use the self-cleaning function, it gets way too hot and has a chance of actually ruining your oven in the long run. Take the racks out and soak them in warm baking soda water in your bathtub for, I dont know, as long as it takes to clean the rest of the oven? Usually 30 min-an hour. Spray the oven down with oven cleaner and LET IT SIT!!!! for as long as the product says it needs to sit. Then take a stainless steel scrubbing pad or some steel wool and go to town on that bitch. Some of the shit will not be coming off unless you are a professional oven cleaner, so just focus on getting out the crust and the really bad burnt bits (the flammable shit)
☆ Range: For an electric range, those drip pans are probably in need of a scrub. You can remove the heating elements and take out the drip pans beneath them to soak in the sink, then get at em with a stainless steel scrubber. For a gas range, I'm so sorry. Just take the grates off, spray some degreaser on the surface, and wipe it down. As far as the grates go, God went ahead and abandoned us on that one, but if you must - degreaser soak and a stainless steel scrubber.
Bedrooms:
☆ When was the last time you dusted your ceiling fan?
☆ When was the last time you got at those baseboards?
☆ Bedsheets and bed linens: I know, me too. If it's been more than two weeks, change your sheets - and if you've got a duvet, it's probably time to wash it and the cover you've had on it for way too long. I am calling myself out here basically by name.
☆ Bedside tables: It's time for a declutter and a dust. Put things in jewelry boxes and medicine cabinets where they belong, wipe shit down, and have a beautiful clean place to put your phone at night
General:
☆ If you want your Zone to immediately look 50% cleaner, vacuum your rugs and carpets and wash your wood(/laminate/LVP/etc) floors
☆ I'm telling you man. Baseboards. Especially if you have pets, those things can get SO nasty. A wet wipe of your baseboards will make a world of difference.
☆ I highly recommend buying something you can dust up high with. Get at those cobwebs and the caked-up dust on your ceiling fan. Also super useful for a quick baseboard dust - you can just run that shit along without having to bend over
☆ These are all things that really only need to be done once every couple months at most. Dont break your back making any of this a part of your regular weekly-to-monthly routine.
"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane
one has you making posts like "okay but if the author UNDERSTOOD the POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS of the story they were telling, and leaned into it, it would actually be a really interesting exploration of..."
the other has you pacing your bedroom at one in the morning going "why. why would you ever in a million years do it like that. genuinely what possible thought process was involved. was the writer possessed by a fucking ghost or something."
rocky: do you think john and paul ever mated
grace: okay thats enough beatles documentaries for you

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brazilians, imagine you’re a famous futebol player and are about to hit the winning penalty kick at the world cup finals. accidentally, the referee tosses a christian baby at you. would you still kick the baby to the goal and win the hexa championship, and sacrifice the christian baby?
self-awareness check, list five things you like that aren't media pieces in the tags now ‼️
mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

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let me put my money where my mouth is and give you my advice for improving "European" recipes so you can make fun of me too if you want. I won't complain
Not everything needs ginger in it. I really like to use ginger as a sort of bridge between 'sweet' / 'warming' spices and 'savoury' spices—like, paprika and allspice can be kind of jarring together, or create an uneven flavour profile, but ginger will round it out. Add fresh ginger in with the aromatics for fresher, zestier notes, or add ground ginger in with the rest of the ground spices for something more mellow. It's really good in soups.
I might also saute some ginger and garlic in neutral oil and then add greens to wilt + salt to taste; then top with a drizzle of sesame oil. Basically this kucai recipe, but with whatever bitter greens you want.
Mince some raw garlic (or use a garlic press) and use a little bit of it to top soups with. Totally different vibe from fried garlic. Very zingy.
Rather than changing the amount of cinnamon, I'd recommend toasting the cinnamon in a dry skillet for 30 seconds (if it's ground cinnamon) to a minute (if it's cinnamon sticks: crush them a little, toast while stirring occasionally, then grind in a coffee mill). Even if you're baking and not cooking, it makes a huge difference!
Also try going to a halal market or specialty spice store and grabbing a few different kinds of cinnamon (quill cassia, cinnamon 'bark' which is a different kind of cassia, Ceylon cinnamon which is a different species). Mixing these together will add some subtle depth and complexity of flavour.
If something calls for just cinnamon, consider adding cloves; allspice; cardamom; nutmeg; and/or mace (mace my beloved). I also like to add a touch of white pepper to a 'warming' spice medley like this. I think it really brings out the sharpness in the cloves etc.
If it asks for vanilla, add 1/4 of that amount of almond extract; or the same amount of orange blossom water as vanilla; or some fiori di Sicilia; or a pinch of mastic gum. Unless it's a very particular baked good with very tight tolerances for the amount of liquid you add, like macarons.
If onions are a major component of the dish, consider whether you want to fry them low and slow (brings out a lot of sweetness, even if you're not all-out caramelizing them), or if you want to fry them on medium-high until they're browned (very aromatic with nutty and toasted notes). A quick fry on medium-high just until they're translucent and softened is usually not what I go for, because it misses out on both of those possibilities.
If you're making a whole pot of soup, fry the aromatics and vegetables in like a solid cup of extra virgin olive oil before adding the broth or stock (it's cheaper at halal grocery stores). Also throw in a couple of whole cloves; some crushed dried red chili pepper if you can handle heat; and a bay laurel leaf or two. Consider some whole black peppercorns, which will impart flavour to the oil, and add a nice pop to whatever bites of soup end up having one.
Olive oil + onion + garlic + whole cloves + red pepper flakes + bay leaf + black pepper is basically my 'base' for anything that I'm trying to give an Italian or Sicilian vibe. Fry these things together (with more olive oil than you think) then add whole fresh or canned tomatoes and fry some more. Remove the cloves and bay leaf and blend until you reach your desired texture. Cook down until you reach your desired consistency. Add another glug of olive oil, salt to taste, and some more black pepper. Taste it and see if your tomatoes are sweet and tart enough: if not, add some sugar and/or a little bit of white or red wine vinegar. You've just made the best tomato sauce on planet earth. Use it on pasta or anywhere passata is called for.
Add a bit of ground white pepper at the end of the cooking time of a soup or stew.
Mix the dried spices that the recipe calls for in a small bowl and keep adding them gradually at different points in the cooking time: some to fry with the oil at the beginning, some to simmer when you first add the water, and some as a finishing spice 5 minutes before the end of the cooking time.
Make sure you're deglazing your pan. You don't usually want to fry a bunch of stuff and then not add water to it to unstick the leftover flavour from the bottom of the skillet. You can use wine, vinegar, stock, broth, or even water. The exception is something like the chana for chana chaat or a dry aloo sabzi where you really want the flavour and texture of the dry spice powders. But that's not what we're talking about here.
I've got no complaint with using a blend like an Italian seasoning mix or herbes de Provence in place of dried oregano or parsley.
Basil pesto doesn't need cheese or pine nuts in it. It just doesn't. Basil, olive oil, garlic, and fresh lemon juice is enough. But try adding a couple sprigs of mint in with the basil.
Lemon juice. I can't believe that post didn't mention the power of lemon juice. Saute some bitter greens in olive oil with some garlic, then top with coarse sea salt and a generous squeeze of lemon juice.
i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck
i absolutely dont have time to be doing this but oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my go
in s3 danlou have a thirty minute graphic sex scene no music no dialogue jsut two dudes going at it
Im being threatened with a pleasant time.
Eva Stratt watching these recordings like it’s a dead wife montage.

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to get a job you have to have 10 years of experience in every possible tool and task that could even tangentially be related to what you'll actually be doing and then you have to prove that you're the smartest person in the world and you're organised and proactive and have great problem solving skills. and then if you beg on your knees like a dog enough and actually get the job, the entire first week will be doing spent reading shit like: 'MANDATORY HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING: if the floor is SLIPPERY or BUMPY, you might TRIP. this is BAD. please take this test to check your knowledge. question 1: is tripping bad? yes/no'