cherry lips and golden curls

BUT YOU CAN'T. he wanted to scream. he wanted to fight. no, he wanted to burn the whole goddamn town down. it was typically easy for him to take out his emotions on others. bash was rather explosive by default. unfortunately, kazimir was ultimately on the other end of that most of the time. the two simply seemed so far apart. in a lot of aspects, they were. but bash needed him. kaz had potential. potential to be a light. to make a difference. it was bash who was meant to be the one that allowed darkness consume him whole. hell, he's woken up in red creek hospital enough times to not be phased for when his time comes.

kazimir's words made reality hit harder than a ton of bricks to his chest. kaz was now involved, one way or another. the murders now suddenly too close for comfort rather than some story bash barely even cared enough to cover. in any other scenario, sebastian had been quick to claim that kaz was right. he couldn't protect him and in fact, it felt that it was vice versa. tip toeing around kaz's sensitivity. shielding him from evils that was right in front of his face. this time though, this seemed to be more than even he could take on.

kazimir was confident now this was a dream . it was finally happening — the dream he'd had since their mother left . sebastian cared . he worried about him . they were a family again .

in an instant , their power dynamic was gone . he wasn't playing surrogate father , surrogate hero , anymore . they were simply two brothers . to the untrained eye , they were two brothers mourning the dead side-by-side . but their bond went deeper . they were two sides of the same coin . stubborn and temperamental . caring and thoughtful . but their backs were to each other and they couldn't see their similarities , only their differences — heads and tails . until today .

despite , his circumstances , kaz had to smile . he was happy . he knew his brother cared . at least , one good thing came out of this . and it was easier to focus on that rather than the impending sense of dread hanging over him like a raincloud .

too  much  time  had  passed  between  the  last  time  he  saw  yasmine  and  now  .  azizi  can  replay  the  last  conversation  they  had  with  perfect  clarity  ,  every  sharp  word  ,  every  pause  that  stretched  too  long  .  he  wonders  if  the  memory  lingers  in  their  chest  the  way  it  does  in  his  .  at  first  ,  he  didn't  stop  trying  .  a  few  texts  left  unanswered  ,  a  call  or  two  that  went  straight  to  voicemail  .  after  a  while  ,  he  stopped  going  to  dolly’s  ,  let  the  silence  settle  in  his  bones  .  message  received  .  but  then  his  birthday  came  ,  and  with  it  ,  the  card  .  plain  ,  unsigned  ,  slipped  in  his  mailbox  like  a  whisper  .  no  name  ,  no  explanation  —  just  proof  that  yasmine  was  still  there  ,  lingering  at  the  edges  of  his  life  even  as  they  tried  to  slip  away  . 

they should have stayed home . stayed tucked beneath the covers of their bed , and they would never have to see him again . but they were trying . trying to become a productive member of society , so they could blend right in with the small town . become a carbon copy of the typical nosy neighbor who knows everyone . hi , how are the wife and kids ? they would say , and they would sink right into the role until they were no longer yasmine , but the person tending to the garden , the neighbor next door dropping off a casserole , or the sad townsperson grieving the losses of red creek .

it was easy to ignore azizi's texts and calls . easy wasn't the right word . necessary . the knot in their chest was pulled tighter every day , wishing they could reach out and confide in him about how lonely they felt without him . a loneliness that began with the loss of fran . but they had to protect him . with a killer on the loose , he was too precious to lose . every shift , their eyes would glance towards his booth . more mistakes and more irritability . head and heart at war .

THERE WAS A TREMBLE that intertwined through bash as he racked his digits through straggled hair. protectiveness wasn't an emotion that paired well with sebastian, especially when it related to kazimir's blind optimism. it's caused more than one fight in the past, both brothers headstrong in the opposite ways of thinking. this was different though. this was a soul sucking, drop of the heart type of emotion. for once, bash felt like the delusional one. it's a prank, right? he told himself that over and over again until he locked his gaze on the older.

he was a statue . frozen in time in a museum . no . not a statue , one of the remains from pompeii . a man , covered in ash . his body , lit up by the fear of death , stuck in time for anyone to analyze . it hadn't been fear when he first saw the name . but anger . anger someone would deface a memorial . that this is what the people of red creek found funny . all the anger flowed away at the gentle touch from his brother . maybe because it wasn't something they did . touch each other in a gentle , comforting way . left in the wake of anger was a hole of nothingness . his organs , his bones , his muscles having been eaten away by fear until there was nothing left of kaz .

The weight of everything that had gone unspoken between them was crushing. She wanted to say: ‘Is that really why you came all this way? Just to see me?’, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it- not if that was really all he was there for, not if that meant he’d be leaving as quickly as he arrived. Matilda was seized by the urge to reach out, to feel the fabric of his coat between her fingers, to close the distance, to finally let herself wonder why they let it all slip away. Her cheeks burned with something that felt like guilt. “I thought about you, after I heard what happened.” An understatement. She crossed her arms across her chest, bringing her eyes down to the floor, as if she was embarrassed to be admitting it. “I hope you’re taking care of yourself, you know. It can't be easy.”   

The scream of the tea kettle rang out from the kitchen, and Matilda jumped at its intrusion. It felt like a sign, as if the universe was telling her it was time to thank him for stopping by, to tell him she’d just made chamomile tea and was off to bed, to subtly push him out the door, to leave that chapter of her life behind- but she betrayed herself instead. “Do you wanna come in, Kaz?” The thought of watching his car pull away made her panic. It felt pathetic- she’d been fine for years without him, and had somehow come undone in mere moments.”Unless you’re busy, of course. I probably shouldn’t assume I’m the only one you’re checking in on.” 

her words sent a tremor through him , every nerve alight , bouncing around and disrupting his nervous system . she thought about him . a blink of an eye , and they were back in high school . glances stolen across the room , red cheeks when they made eye contact . daydreams about her talking to him . late night talks with bash about the most intelligent , beautiful girl in the whole of red creek . and one day they talked . one day , they were friends . one day , boyfriend and girlfriend . but it was over as quickly as it began . nothing but a fever dream .

he missed her . being with her now , he missed her .

it was easy to forget . work , sleep , eat , rein in bash . it was a simple routine , repeating day in and day out , not focused on anything but the task at hand . grinding , grinding , grinding . grinding himself into bones and dust and nothing until nothing but tainted memories would be left of kazimir cannon .

" i'd love to come in . " the words came out too fast , jumbled together . i'dlovetocomein . a deep breath in , a sigh out , and nails digging tightly into his palms to keep himself from smacking his face . " um , " eyes plastered to his feet , red spreading up his neck and to his cheeks . " you are actually . the only person i'm checking in on . well , you and sebastian of course . but i , uh , i was worried about you . even though we haven't really spoken . i still ... " care about you he wanted to say , " want to make sure you're okay . " the words scratched and tore at his throat as they made their way up and out . they weren't what he wanted to say , but the truth was locked deep in his heart , trapped in his ribcage and bound with his blood vessels . that wasn't them anymore. they weren't matilda and kaz . they were just matilda and just kaz .

a deep inhale and smoke fills her lungs, nothing in particular on her mind; exactly the way she likes it. she does realize it's maybe not the best idea to stand all alone, with the light of the sun going away, when there's a killer on the loose but... what else is there for her to do? stay cooped up at home while her parents attempt to poke at her psyche? oh no, she's choosing the faster way out instead.

something about diners. greasy leather seats. overheard secrets tangled up with the clatter of forks. bitter, often stale coffee -- unless you got lucky enough to walk in when the place was mostly empty. unlikely. the kind of place where time hangs heavy, like it got tired and sat down to rest in the corner booth. red creek felt the same, like it had long surrendered to time’s weight instead of running alongside it. no reinvention, no salvation -- just a stubborn place clinging to people like mud after rain, or maybe quicksand, tugging until they sank without a fight. soren didn't have to imagine dark things haunting its bones when its effect where already laying there, sprawled out for anyone willing to see. maybe ancient spirits seeking revenge after having their forever homes suffocated with asphalt and cement. maybe nothing at all, just the weight of a town folding in on itself, vanishing into a fog you didn’t know you’d entered until it was too late. soren wouldn't flinch if someone shattered the silence with a lynchian scream -- sinister close-ups, faces trembling under the pressure of things better left unsaid -- right there in the diner, right as he staed at his gone stale coffee. and perhaps it was his obsession with intricate stories that blurred the line with reality, but twin peaks really didn't feel like fiction anymore; it was a blueprint, a warning for places like this, where the mundane teetered on the edge of surreal, where time sagged, like peeling wallpaper in a room sealed off for too long, and good people stumbled into band endings. even diners -- those greasy churches of familiarity -- could warp into confessional booths. soren let his face fall into his hands, elbows propped at the sides of the cup of coffee. if it had been steaming, it would've made a perfect shot. “ you know what's bullshit, ” he spoke as soon as he felt a presence next to him finally glad to push his inner monologue onto someone else, anyone unlucky enough to hear. he continued as his hands dropped to his lap, revealing a face worn thin by restless nights. “ the fact that they made it illegal to smoke in public places. especially diners. ” though it wasn't just diners. it was also cinemas, trains, pubs.... a beat. then two fingers lifted to his lips, mimicking the pitch of a cigarette between index and thumb. soren inhaled theatrically, face tilting upward as though savoring the hit. then, just as theatrically, he ground the phantom amber into an imaginary glass ashtray, the kind with ornate edges. clock. sound design coming from his tongue against his palate and he swat the phantom ashtray away, still dipped in his interactive daydream.

WORDS PAINTED ON THE HEADLINE always tended to be main goal at the register. bash; however, prided himself on an immersive story that held facts. unfortunately, the only facts seemed to be everyone knew fucking nothing. still, the entire day had escaped sebastian as vision went blurry once hues grazed upon the same words over, over, and over again . . . there was nothing to be proud of with the article and quite frankly, he planned to erase any association to the scattered theories by having one, two, five drinks. it didn't help that since the notice of another local dead, pressure only skyrocketed for the next leak. after all, you're only as good as your next story.

IT WAS PARTLY AMUSING how much kaz didn't understand. bash was convinced by now that his brother would never acknowledge his perspective. not only dis kazimir not comprehend it, but bash was certain he hated it. the two were so different in so many ways. still, there was a part f bash that was grasping onto every word his older brother said. silently pleading for it to be true. that he wanted to be here. that he wanted to hang out. but bash knew that if kaz wasn't sent away, he'd still be planted in the sheriff's department. see, bash should be used to be second choice. or third. or sixth.

the tension rose between the two, so sharp that a knife could easily slice through like butter. sebastian's jaw clenched as he was doing his very best not explode. he's done it before. plenty of times, in fact. but every time that happened, he has to pick up the own pieces as shards of his heart were part of the casualties. he forced himself to stay silent, teeth snipping at the inside of his cheek so harshly that he could taste a metallic tang

❝ and what exactly do you assume that i think about you , kazimir ? ❞ bash questioned harshly, taking the bag with reluctance. he gave a peak inside, features daring to soften. goddamn him, really. every time kaz seemed to act like he knew even the slightest bit about bash, he'd prove it was so easily to walk away.

here and now , the harsh question his brother posed , kaz wasn't sure if he was the good guy or the bad guy . the villain or the hero . he'd always tried his hardest . but he was a kid , forced to play the role of an adult before his time . more of his life spent there than anything that came before . he was lost in the deep , dark woods with no map and no compass , feeling his way around with no direction . he knew he wasn't a good brother , that he fell short in so many ways , but he did all that he could . all that was left was to hope and pray everything would turn out okay . that one day the sun would come up and illuminate the path out of the woods . and he would take a deep , deep breath and be free .

he stood in the doorframe like a vampire waiting to be invited in . scared that one wrong movement would startle him , scare him off . set off the ticking time bomb that always lurked between the two . tick , tick , ticking away . and they didn't know when it would go off .

🗝️ dedicated to kazimir cannon / @capitclkarma . 📍 redstone bar .

he didn't hesitate to change course towards redstone bar . while she wasn't his favorite person in the world , and he certainly didn't trust her , he would never abandon someone in their time of need. the fear in the town hung heavy in the air , everything coated in a thick fog . he knew what it was like to be scared and worried . the same feelings burrowing into his muscles and tendons and bones . worried about bash . anxious about matilda . nervous about bronte . about the whole town . and the blame rested partially on him . he was failing at keeping the town safe. at protecting it and stopping the bad guy . so he rushed to do what he could , and he found himself outside of redstone , hana at his side .

      𝚃𝙷𝙴   𝙵𝙰𝙸𝙽𝚃   𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙶   𝙾𝙵   𝚁𝚄𝚂𝚃   𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙳   cooper's   nostrils   as   he   stood   over   the   battered   engine   block   of   an   old   ford.   his   sleeves   rolled   up   past   his   forearms   ,   revealing   scars   and   tattoos   that   had   their   own   stories   to   tell.   his   hands   were   stained   with   grease   ,   the   same   way   they'd   been   stained   with   blood   too   many   times   before.   this   ,   though   —   fixing   things   —   was   a   hell   of   a   lot   simpler   than   anything   else   in   his   life.   "   you're   turning   it   the   wrong   way   ,   mate , "   cooper   grunted   ,   pointing   to   the   bolt   kaz   was   wrestling   with.   righty   tighty   ,   lefty   loosey.   don't   they   teach   that   in   the   academy   these   days   ?   or   are   they   too   busy   cockin'   up   murder   investigations   to   bother   with   the   basics   ?   "

      𝚃𝙷𝙴   𝙹𝙰𝙱   𝚆𝙰𝚂   𝚂𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙿   ,   𝙱𝚄𝚃   𝙷𝙸𝚂   tone   wasn’t.   it   carried   a   thread   of   teasing   ,   the   kind   of   banter   that   felt   like   a   hand   on   the   shoulder   rather   than   a   knife   in   the   gut.   cooper   leaned   against   the   workbench   ,   wiping   his   hands   on   an   already   filthy   rag   ,   his   eyes   narrowing   just   slightly   as   he   tilted   his   head   toward   kaz.   “   speakin’   of   cock   -   ups   ,   how’s   the   department   handling   things   ?   or   should   i   say   …   not   handling   things   ?   ”

a frustrated sigh blew through his lips . minutes had gone by but felt like hours , yet he couldn't get the hang of this . he was trying . trying to learn a new skill . trying to get better . to be able to help people in a more comprehensive way . but he was the one who needed all of the help here . a short laugh followed as kaz straightened his back and stepped away from the car for a moment . " mhm we don't have that kind of time anymore . here's your badge , now go find the murderer that's been haunting this town for 25 years . but , i think that might be more simple than this . "

he ran the back of his hand over his forehead , wiping the sweat on the leg of his pants . moved to lean against the car as the conversation turned serious , the wrench hanging loosely by his side . he liked cooper . he was tough , never letting kaz off the hook and forcing him to be accountable . but his heart was in the right place , and kaz felt almost safe with him . learning more than he ever had from his father .