In The End, We All Die. Unless You Change.

You know you’re epic when you manage a sick burn on a SUN GOD!

i BETTER get bitten by a werewolf AND/OR a vampire tonight!!! its halloween and im fucking gay!!!

every woman is out of every man’s league actually

i had the funniest fucking dream i was hanging out with michael jackson and someone asked him what his pronouns were and he said “he/hee!” and i woke up crying

sometimes i wonder if in a previous time, you’ve ever passed by someone you’re close to now. like what if your best friend now, you passed by them at a grocery store when you were 5 and didn’t know. or like you passed by your future soulmate at a popular tourist attraction somewhere 10 years ago

My fiancee worked as a groomer at the petsmart where we took our dog when i was a teenager. He would have been 19 and I was 15 or so. Obvi nothing happened then but after we meet online 3- 4 years later and I took him to meet my parents he was like “ok this us going to sound weird but i know your dog”

house arrest is so funny to me. you commited crimes, stay home

A D V A N C E D   G R O U N D I N G

can you believe after so many years of using french’s “c'est la vie” because the nuance doesn’t translate, we’ve finally obtained a flawless translation with “that’s just the way it is on this bitch of an earth" 

Thats “it be like that sometimes” erasure

i relate to tumblr mobile because i too barely function and do the bare minimum incorrectly