The Roman Catholic Church, even with all its 16th century corruption and venality, was a shining example of mercy and charity in comparison to Henry the goddamn VIII.
In 1509 when Henry took office he was the richest monarch in Christendom, perhaps the richest man in Europe. Had it been managed wisely Henry could have passed most of that on to his heir. Instead he:
1. Went to war with France, twice, for no other reason than to have the chance to say that he went to war with France. He âwonâ both times, if by âwonâ you mean spent inconceivable amounts of money to capture unimportant towns he had to give back later. Note that although he bragged about going to war he refused to expose himself to the enemyâs swords or musket balls.
2. Frittered away immense amounts of money on high living. Gold, silver, jewels, furs, velvets, silks, horses, gold plated everything, carpets, tapestries, even entire palaces: the list goes on and on and on and on.
3. Let his most powerful servants embezzle what they would as long as they did all the work of running the realm for him, because the only part of ruling he cared about was his own personal power.
4. Killed his most powerful servants when they became too powerful, then handed the reins to the next men to come up. Shockingly, this didnât work the fourth time he tried it, and by the time he died the country was being administered by toadies and lickspittles.
5. Bankrupted the treasury then refilled it by plundering the monasteries, the only hope at the time of the poor, elderly, and disabled. Travellers of the time wrote of old and disabled people dying in hedgerows and ditches, and of desperate beggars lining the streets where none had been ten years earlier. One saw a mother and child frozen to death in a ditch. It wasnât until Henryâs death that anything was done to help the indigent who couldnât care for themselves.
6. Frittered away the wealth of Englandâs monasteries, a sum that should have kept the country in the black for generations, in **SEVEN FUCKING YEARS**. Ask how many palaces he built or renovated. Ask how many jewels he had imported from the Low Countries. Ask how many furs, how much gilt, how much *utter crap* he accumulated in those years.
7. And toxic? You want toxic? This is a man whose entire religion was âwhat have you done for me lately, God?â He had men and women butchered for daring to believe something that inconvenienced him. He didnât leave the Church because he needed a son or fell in love with Anne or whatever juvenile just-so story you believe: he left the Church because to Henry, the world was meant to run as HE thought it should run and when it didnât someone other than Henry was always, always to blame.
He resented the Popeâs power because he resented anyone but him having power. Thatâs why he sent Wolsey to his death, thatâs why he let Cromwell fall, thatâs in part why he killed Anne Boleyn, thatâs why Fisher and More and Buckingham and every one of his victims died: because Henry was too lazy to rule, too weak to hold onto power without holding the axe over everyoneâs necks, and too jealous to let anyone have even a pinch of the power he craved.
He didnât crave sons; he craved control. He craved self-aggrandization. He craved subservience. And he didnât give a shit who he murdered, starved, or humiliated to get it.
He was the most venal, most toxic, most manipulative, most abusive ruler in 16th century Europe. The Church was a fucking ray of sunshine in comparison.
Oh, and the Church of England? Was created not *by* or *for* Henry VIII but *in spite of* him.
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