Untitled

https://www.tumblr.com/mrsmckay/822615271510556672/talking-to-bsftrinitysantos-about-your-crush-on

part 1

you wanted the ground to swallow you whole in embarrassment. cassie was leaning on the counter of the nurse station, her chin resting on her palm and staring at you.

cassie was waiting.

"i-it's not what you think, dr. mckay," you tried. your knees felt like they got no bones in it.

"i think you wanted to ask me a question."

you tried to hide your nervous laugh behind sipping your iced coffee. you could feel yourself sweating all over.

"come on, y/n." she encouraged. "i won't bite."

you tried to meet her eyes once again and you knew you could trust her. cassie may be playful and a tease sometimes but she would never intentionally shame you.

so you took a deep breath and asked, "okay, uh, d-do you like girls... uhm, women... same sex... you know what i mean...?"

cassie smiled. you thought she might be planning your demise by just flashing those dimples at you. "i have always liked women."

"oh." color came back to your face. too much red, cassie thought. she found it cute. "that's - that's nice."

"only nice?"

"uhm... happy pride?"

"it's july."

you frowned. "right."

cassie chuckled at the shy look on your face. "do you wanna get dinner later?"

your head comically tilted fast. "with me?"

"well, i am asking you."

"just... us?"

cassie nodded. "if you want to. it's fine if you don't -"

"i want to!" you quickly interrupted, hoping she wouldn't change her mind. "i want to eat you. WITH YOU! oh fuck, i mean get dinner!"

cassie let out an amused laugh. "okay then." she reached out to fix the collar of your jacket and you almost choked on the feeling of her touching you through the fabric. "see you later."

-🍎

"i just wish she wasn't so unattainable, you know." you sulked, sipping on your iced coffee.

trinity only hummed as she continued charting. this wasn't something she had not heard before from you. in fact, she heard it a lot of times she memorized all the things you always say about cassie mckay.

cassie is so pretty, cassie is so kind, she's the best doctor, her heart is so big and pure, i would totally let her check me out -

you let out a loud sigh. "i wish she would just give me something. a sign! just even a little bit of a sign that she's into girls, ugh."

trinity, with senses of a cat, immediately saw cassie approaching, walking usually like it's heavy, but didn't say a word.

"i can't just ask her, 'dr. mckay, are you into women? are you bi? lesbian? girl kisser?'" you rambled on.

then you heard someone clearing their throat behind you.

you stopped shaking your iced coffee. then turned around.

color left your face.

cassie was smiling, dimples disarming you even further. "you can ask me now."

you've never been this mortified standing in front of this woman before. when will the ground eat you?!

"don't faint, lover girl." trinity said, smirking to herself as she left.

for example maybe he should try dating the two men he looks at like this. just a thought. give it a try, michael.

even the people that help him or confront him or reach out to him the most, he barely has. dana, who is first and foremost a coworker before a best friend, who had no idea about robby's abandonment. jack, who's admittedly closer, but I assume is included in "no one knows", + is avoidant, often working, and hasn't faced most of his own shit. not truly reliable.

I mean, that scene where robby is grinning and refusing eye contact and not reassuring jack he'll be okay... and jack doesn't even follow him. just leaves. and later, when dana is practically begging jack to at least say something. do something. but jack is also closed off, so it took that push. he didn't even truly initiate the reaching out.

even duke's connection to robby gets overinflated, and I think it suits the narrative much better to view it as it is: duke and robby are not particularly close. it's implied it's a recent friendship, mainly over motorcycles, which is a recent development in robby's life. and robby, over and over, has to practically plead with duke to stay, have the CT for him, and is generally difficult.

robby is grasping to this friendship because it's likely one of the only ones he has, possibly the only one. and eventually, yes, duke softens at the desperation and comforts him, but it's still just... they're clearly not very close. robby is desperate for connection and unwilling to let it go, he's crying out for help, whoever will help.

him and noelle clearly aren't that close, including the fact that she gossips about something personal to him to dana without a second thought. it's not even a want for robby, the comfort of a warm body in his bed, it's a need. he knows he can't be alone. he can't handle it. but he doesn't wanna get close enough to anyone to be abandoned, so he always leaves first.

yana kovalenko, who is one of the people who cut through to him emotionally the most, is a patient. cassie, who also checked in on him and made an effort, is his resident. the vast majority of people that are considered his "support system" are his responsibilities as well, or at the very least his coworkers first, which heavily clashes.

that's why he latches on so heavy to duke, why duke gets through to him easily, even though he's... honestly pretty surface level, and I assume knows very little about robby's inner self, just as everyone else. all he really knows, from that day, is wow this hospital is draining. but that was enough for robby. because robby is desperately lonely and duke is not a responsibility or a coworker. and duke is older, and robby is subconsciously always searching for a figure like that. someone to guide him. a mother, a father, a mentor. anyone.

this is the reality for a lot of people with complex lifelong trauma. Robby's traumas started, at the very latest, at age 8, with the destruction of his family unit and sense of safety. It continued, at the very least, with not only Abramson's death, but the PTSD by a thousand cuts he describes from his decades at the Pitt. this is a man who has endless internal wounds, whose ability to trust the love and affection of others was broken in elementary school, who has been shown by the world over and over that you cannot rely on anyone but yourself. who feels he has to literally devote his life to fixing people to earn his place in the world, who tells Duke that his life is intolerable to him unless he is working, actively in service to others.

@thepittmonth: Week 3  patients, cases, and healthcare

Topics and Issues in American Healthcare

Summary: Breaking the news to Brendon’s family

Authors notes: umm so sorry this took a little while I was really struggling with what part to write. If anyone has burning they want to see pleaseeee let me know bc I don’t know what to do next but want to keep writing for them! Warnings: pregnancy trope and lots of fluff

Brendon Park x reader (med school!au/college!au)

word count: 1.2k

part 1 part 2

“Hm…so no evidence, then, seems simple enough” she muses and you laugh again 

🤭🤭🤭

“10 weeks now” Brendon smiles-he really can’t help it, he hasn’t been able to wipe the shit eating grin off his face since he saw those scans 

He is so happy and excited 🥰

“Oh my god…” Jane whispers, tears in her eyes and you chew on your lip nervously waiting for her reaction “I’m going to have a grand baby?!” She squeaks and you can’t help the watery laugh that escapes you “oh! Adam we’re going to have a grand baby!” She grins. Your attention turns to Adam who looks…rather pale 

Grandparents to be

“So…you guys aren’t mad?” Brendon murmurs “How could we be mad? You’re both adults, and as long as you’re happy I’m happy, and you clearly love each other, and oh! This is going to be the most adorable baby, no wonder you’re glowing!” she gushes and rushes round the table to you, wrapping you up in a bear hug before pinching your cheeks. 

🥰🥰🥰

After a few more minutes of excited chatter and remnants of shock you all retire to the living room, stretching out on the couch beside Brendon. Ella’s head is between your legs as you braid her hair and Oliver is curled up with his head in your lap, half asleep, Jake sat on the other side of Brendon as they talk about the football. Adam and Jane watch fondly at the future image of your family, reassured that you’ll both be fantastic parents, with no doubt that the child will be raised perfectly. 

I love the coziness and domesticity of this 😍

“They’re just like us” Jane whispers “I hope so” he nods. They link their left hands, wedding rings pressing together. Brendon laces his fingers with yours, thumb caressing over the soft skin of your ring finger. 

“I was expecting the whole young pregnancy a few years ago” Adam chuckles quietly and Jane huffs, elbowing him in the ribs 

😂😂😂

oh okay, sure, so you keep up this energy for all the characters, right? because you're saying this is about feminism and morality, right? so you've made all these same posts about frank langdon, right?

you know, frank langdon who was racist to princess and then again about native american culture, and who screamed at trinity and tried to start a smear campaign against her on her first day? frank who regularly disregards how hard his wife works? you've made all the same posts about him because you care about addressing misogyny and racism, right?

oh... you haven't? you've not even made *one*? you've not reblogged a single thing about him either? not one?

so it was never about addressing misogyny, was it? it was you smearing a character you don't like and looking for reasons to justify your hate rather than actually caring. okay, I get it, thanks for helping me clear that up.