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@callouscoyote
If you believe your abusers only abused you because they’ve been abused themselves, believe me, even if they haven’t been abused, they would have found an excuse to do it anyway. And if they didn’t want to abuse you, no amount of abuse in their life could ever force them to cause harm to you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i find it hard to believe what you did was unintentional
Maybe one day you will realize that what you did to me was absolutely not okay.
You know what’s the worst thing about abuse?
You think everyone is gonna hurt you like your abuser.
Everyone is gonna hit you like your abuser.
Everyone is gonna belittle you like your abuser.
Everyone thinks you’re a burden like your abuser.
Everyone is gonna yell at you like your abuser.
And that’s why you still flinch when someone raises their hand.
Overthink when someone doesn’t reply to you.
Panic when someone’s voice tone changes.
You see your abuser is everyone’s eyes.
What They Don’t Tell You
•Even after you cut someone toxic/abusive out of your life, they drain you
•They get to walk away and pretend like it didn’t happen, while you’re left to pick up the pieces
•Sometimes they’ll play victim, try to garner all the sympathy and attention even though you know they have no right
•Sometimes they’ll take a fake high road, accuse you of lying and say they did nothing wrong, that you hurt them, and pretend that they’re better
•Some won’t take no for an answer
•They’ll do anything to put the blame on you. To make you seem like the villain or the monster
•Most will hurt someone again. And the hardest part is accepting that it won’t be your fault
•You’ll feel a void in your life where they were. You might miss them. That’s normal.
•You have to relearn so many things. What actual healthy love/friendships/relationships are
•You need to learn to trust again, to see the world as more then its darkness
•You’ll think you’re faking it sometimes. Even if others believe you, the what if will always creep up
•You need support. No one can do this alone
•Healing isn’t linear. It has its ups and its downs. Some vary day to day
•Just because you have a bad day doesn’t mean you’re regressing
•Everyone heals differently, but there will always be a scar
•Somethings may never be the same for you, somethings will trigger you. And that’s ok
•Nothing you did caused this. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t do anything. THEY chose to hurt YOU.
•Some abusers might have loved you, and it’s hard to accept that. Remember that this is toxic, unhealthy love
•You don’t have to forgive them. But you also don’t have to never forgive. Whatever helps you heal is what you need to do
•You may lose more people then just the one. Whether it’s people who support them, won’t support you, people you now see differently, etc. That’s ok
•You get to choose whose in your life
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
🌱Fucking say some shit again bitch, give me a reason to fuck you up, you're going to regret this, you've fucked with the wrong fucking host you fucking cunt, /I will burn you down/
Part of me wants to scream it, to take every ounce of energy I have left and pour it all into an outburst about how I know about it. I can't say how I know, but instinctively I do. I know what's going on, in a general sense, I'm not aware of the specifics, but I can easily feel it. That same part of me is done caring about it, I'm done wasting time and energy on it, parts of myself that used to care too much are completely disinterested and emotionally distant just for the sake of self preservation, but there's still that part of me that no matter how much I pull away, or emotionally distance myself in attempts to care less, still leaves me with pain in my side's and a tight throat as the tears well up against my eyes and pour down my cheeks.
Quiet Place.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
no offense but it doesn’t feel cool or fun or edgy to be lonely and bitter all the time and i’m really looking forward to loving and being loved
do you ever think like. yeah. I’m doing good. and then you’re like. oh. oh I’m crying
Looking to make friends who also have dpd.
Im in a spot where i don't have anyone who fully understands my dependency problems. Im put into such a panic from lack of dp attention that it's making me physically sick. I want safe friends who understand my feelings and who I could talk to about it so it's not so unbearable ):
no offense but i’m constantly terrified of upsetting the people i love to the point where they’ll abandon me and it stops me from/makes me panic over saying or doing the smallest things on an almost daily basis
do you ever feel like such a burden that you just wanna apologize for existing
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
you’re not too sensitive. you’re not overreacting. if it hurts you, it hurts you.
Anyone with dpd ever get jealous or upset when the see a baby getting love because you're literally a baby still and you need the same protection and love and it just really makes you sink into yourself and cry a whole lot from how bad it feels.
