#actuallydpd

Unfortunately, not everyone can accommodate you 100% of the time, and you can't be excessive in what you ask from your DP. While it's nice when your DP tells you they're going to be away and for how long, it's also not realistic to expect your DP to be able to forewarn you about every time they'll ever have to be away, and it's not fair to subject them to too much of your fear and anxiety.

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Our collective names are Azzi or Ix, and our system name is Local Void. We're 31 (adults only, please), and have DPD, a complicated relationship to gender, and a system whose origin is traumagenic but where we are now splitting headmates on purpose!

We will also post about self-ship, alterhumanity, our in-system relationships, and maybe kink on this blog.

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Please check our about page on this blog. Here is our Neocities, with a list of alters who post on the blog.

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ID: A 5-stripe flag with its stripes angled downward toward the bottom in a V formation. Coming down from the top-center is an arrow, with the top containing a downwards obtuse triangle with an icon inside. The icon is a pet collar with a bell, colored a dark mulberry pink. The arrow is a medium-dark mulberry pink, and the triangle inside is slightly lighter. The stripes, from top to bottom: Dark brown, dark pink, pink, brown, dark brown.

Depense are labels that describe one's relation to DPD and their dependent identity. It may be a gender experience, orientation experience, or any other identification: even its own category altogether.

Petdepense, or the pet dependent archetype, is a dependent identity related to pets, considering oneself petlike, and/or being seen as a pet. It may feel beloved, loyal, and inhuman / beastlike, but may also have other interpretations.

The modifier symbols are: 🐾🌷

The tulip as a symbol for DPD is representative of how gardens are dependent on their gardeners and often lovingly tended to in turn.

My personality disorder info site is live!

It's still a WIP, but pretty much everything is up that I plan on putting up.

First off, it is well-known that personality disorders stem from trauma. All of them.

You know why? Because they're all attachment disorders, resulting from not having your needs met and living with abuse and/or familial chaos at an early age.

And despite this, people insist on acting as if we all just magically gain our maladaptive coping mechanisms because we were just born inadequate.

All personality disorders, even the ones people who have hurt you (and me) have had, are a result of trauma.

Some psychologists even deny this. I watched a psychologist talking about the Cluster C personality disorders, because I want to know more about Dependent Personality Disorder (which my therapist says I meet the criteria for but won't add to my diagnostic sheet because she isn't sure if I'll still qualify for it in a few years). He acted as if you have to meet all the traits to qualify for it, even though even the DSM-5 just says you have to have five traits. Not only that, but he acted as if we shouldn't believe the reports of early childhood abuse because of our distorted thinking that comes with personality disorders. That is absolutely gaslighting us.

I saw another psychologist talking about how difficult it is for people to deal with people with dependent personality disorder, and the person who was interviewing them said we sounded like children.

It all really hurts. I understand now why people with NPD are upset when people refuse to acknowledge their struggles and only focus on the struggles of the people who interact with them (and I'm saying this as someone whose mother shows signs of NPD, especially when it comes to lacking object constancy, and whose abusive behavior when splitting led to my personality disorder).

People aren't even sure how long our symptoms will last because it's so rare and there's a lack of study and interest among psychologists, and it really... sucks.

What I do know is that learning attachment theory and applying it to my life has helped me to cope with DPD, because I learned that I have to validate my past self in my mistakes and maladaptive coping, and understand the reasons why I acted the way I did, in order to change. I also felt heard, and understood, rather than judged.

I recommend for all of my followers and anyone who stumbles across this post and has a Cluster C personality disorder to check out The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen. I originally got it because I wanted to find a way to heal my attachment problems in order to stop hurting my significant other, and working through it helped me understand myself, and them, and figure out how to have healthier conversations and form a secure attachment to them.

I especially struggle with separation anxiety, a lack of life direction (made worse by being disabled), and difficulty initiating tasks because I don't think I'll be good at them (but less things like everyday chores and more things that are more complex like doing research or my projects), so if anyone knows how to cope with those, I would appreciate that.