Trivial Pursuits

You say “chaotic energy”, I say “poor situational awareness and mildly impaired judgment due to chronic sleep deprivation“.

this feels like a sensitivity training for how to not commit micro aggressions against vampires in your workplace

usamericans, do you remember in the incredibles when syndrome made the robot go haywire just so he could swoop in and 'save the day'

hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

everyone younger than me is having a baby and everyone older than me has 3+ roommates and everyone the same age as me fell down a biiiiiiiiiiig flight of stairs

basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up. and also really bad at going to sleep

you ever see a post that fundamentally misunderstands evolution and natural selection and then look at how many thousands of notes it has and just feel despair that so many people don't even know the basics of it?

To a year of kindness in 2024

Bringing this back for 2025

your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. ‘here comes the warmth slab’ it thinks

wrong it thinks “god hope this dipshit doesnt spill beans all over me again who tf eats beans in bed”

stop reblogging this new year new me i havent spilled beans in bed ONCE this year

uh oh

It gets funnier the earlier in the year you reblog it

I would like to wish everyone an uneventful new year

May we live in very uninteresting times

may you experience very precedented events