Just raid the fridge its fine

When Martha Eccles was born, according to her mother she didn't cry, instead she scowled at gentle smiles and twisted away from warm hands.

"You where born angry," her mother always said. She has told Martha throughout her upbringing that her spirit was restless and her heart closed off, that despite her best efforts, multiple fake reiki healers and odd advice off mumsforums, it was no use, She was what she was. Martha thinks her mother was and still is full of shit.

"She's just so closed off," Martha's mother said to her friends one night over glasses of wine, her tone low and certain. Martha only 6 years old at the time, sat huddled against the landing banister upstairs, listening to the clinking of glasses and the other womens tuts and sounds of soft pity. Not pity for Martha, but for her mother, for having to deal with her.

Their relationship has always been, to put it lightly, strained. Like trying to fit a bond into a space that's too stubborn a shape, the corner's are never quite filled in and the edges bruise. There are many factors that contributed to this, but one thing to know is Martha's mother, Mary Eccles, had her when she was 46 years old. She never planned on having children, in fact she was firmly against it and proudly child free by choice.

When Martha Eccles was born, according to her mother she didn't cry, instead she scowled at gentle smiles and twisted away from warm hands.

"You where born angry," her mother always said. She has told Martha throughout her upbringing that her spirit was restless and her heart closed off, that despite her best efforts, multiple fake reiki healers and odd advice off mumsforums, it was no use, She was what she was. Martha thinks her mother was and still is full of shit.

"She's just so closed off," Martha's mother said to her friends one night over glasses of wine, her tone low and certain. Martha only 6 years old at the time, sat huddled against the landing banister upstairs, listening to the clinking of glasses and the other womens tuts and sounds of soft pity. Not pity for Martha, but for her mother, for having to deal with her.

Their relationship has always been, to put it lightly, strained. Like trying to fit a bond into a space that's too stubborn a shape, the corner's are never quite filled in and the edges bruise. There are many factors that contributed to this, but one thing to know is Martha's mother, Mary Eccles, had her when she was 46 years old. She never planned on having children, in fact she was firmly against it and proudly child free by choice.

  ― Billy-Ray Belcourt, A History of My Brief Body