CallMeJezebel

I should have gone w my gut and not his pressure

When we speak about Narc abuse we don’t always take into account the torment they cause they’re family as a whole. In the case of the Narc/Abuser here I want to highlight his sister as a representation of his immediate family. I’ve got screen shot conversations of him claiming that I was reaching out to her days before he made it official with his new supply Hope. This voice mail is hard for me to listen still now, especially the part where she mentions the recent passing of my father. It’s clear that this message came out of a deep anger and frustration and I really do not blame her for feeling that way. In the end it was in deed her brother that got her to feel all those emotions. I personally had a beautiful relationship with her and the rest of the Nar/Abusers family but It’s clear here how much he has been chiseling away at that with a plethora of lies and incessant harassing. Yes he harassed his own family diligently trying to recruit them to his cause of tormenting me. Most of his family chooses to voluntarily avoid him or if they have to they engage him in limited amounts. He alienated his family this way not just from himself but also from his children. Up until June 2016 I would take the children to see his sisters, brothers and mom .. he made sure to put an end to that by making everything about me and against me. He lied to them telling them that the protective order would be violated if they reached out to me so they didn’t in order to protect him. Meanwhile the children asked why they didn’t hang out anymore and I told them that the family stopped asking and as long as he was at his mothers they could not legally go there. I had to be honest with them about it because after all I didn’t blame them for missing the family.. I did, they were my family for well over 20 years. The extended family was not as influenced and I had some of his maternal cousins invite us over often for over nights. I appreciate and love the family that never changed with the children and respected the relationship we had together. So back to this call.. you will notice common threads from other posts that have serious religious accusations from witch craft to satanic worship and then to the part of me being drunk and an unfit parent. All of those exactly the same thing being dished out by the ex/abuser she basically became a surrogate abuser by leaving me this voicemail and again I don’t blame her.. because it’s all his doing. I called her after I calmed my own emotions and left her a voice mail w a very different tone that he has passed around as proof that I contacted her first in attempts to break up his up coming nuptials and I’ll track it down and share it later. I spoke to Ale after I left the message and her tone was 💯 different.. actually very demure or docile .. she didn’t expect a call back which to me only says he really had her convinced of all the was claiming. We spoke for a while and she shared things with me that allowed me to understand his intention with his own family especially the level of harassing they have to deal with, especially her for her to escalate to the anger in the voice mail. She told me both of the sisters told his then fiancé that I was not everything he claimed me to be and that I never cheated on him.. they advocated and defended me because they knew me. The fact that they didn’t reach out to me after his 2nd incarceration was all his doing and never mine. He worked diligently to dismantle the relationship I’ve had with his family and with some it worked and with some it definitely didn’t. In his sisters case Inforgave her for the message.. it hurt and it wreaked of him, especially the part that mocked my fathers death. He continues to do that and I think she only went that route because she wanted to hurt me and it did. The other stuff made me laugh because I’m used to it but my Dad still hurts. I miss him everyday all day and that stab on her behalf was brought on by his constant abuse of his own family .. like a defenseless dog backed into a corner she reacted with a bite.

One of the major “mind fucks” that this Narc/Abuser attempted to do was slander my character and attempt to take my faith away by using #, scripture and YouTube videos labeling me as what ever he felt he needed to in order to break me down emotionally and spiritually. He also attempted to separate me from my beautiful family that has always been a very proud, classy, hard working and protective family. In letters that I will share he promises to take my last name Alvarez and make it a name if shame that our children would never want to use. The reality of this is that he and certain members of his family had a weird envy against my family. I’m not sure if it was because they saw themselves beneath the family because my parents were a strong solid and traditional unit, maybe because the life of work (something his father never showed him and he repeats the cry or) from my father being a teamster and wise investor he provided a beautiful home for us. Maybe because my family demanded more of him if he wanted to marry me, shame on my family for demanding he work, we continue our education, we pay bills and become self sustaining. Shame on my family they expected him to actually be the “man of God” he has always falsly claimed to be. They had/have a weird envy that was never brought on by us because we were always respectful and showed support whenever needed. Either way .. the Narc/Abuset will break down what you value the most. For me it had always been my Faith, my Family and my Service to community. So his prime targets were to continually sew discord w my family which he still tries to do, He attempted to excommunicate me w my God and faith with his evil use of scripture to lie and stab me with (no double edge sword for him apparently) and finally he tried to destroy my network and community.. tried to destroy the bond I have between my community and work.. 25 years of helping those in crisis, the homeless, the battered and abused.. he did everything in his 2018 campaign to destroy it. That’s what they do.. he failed .. my family is closer than ever, my community still goes to me even though I’m 2000 miles away and God has shown me over and over again that his love, protection and faith is still with me.. this I know because he has entrusted me to continue to protect his precious children Noah, Ezra, Jacob and Selah .. he sees the danger of their father and he keeps them out of harms way. 🙏🏽 don’t allow the Narc/Abuser mind fuck you.. that’s a term he used often by the way.. the abusers fizzles at every success you have. It kills him that the children are doing exceptionally well protected against his manipulative ways and abuse. I’m raising them to be proud to carry the name I allow them to have

So some or actually a great percentage of some of my posts will in fact have a very religious theme not because I myself are "religious" but simply because its the mask of choice that the narc in this case uses to excuse his disgusting behavior. It truly is a very convenient strategy.. religion offers all the aspects a narc needs to isolate, control, manipulate and impose their agenda. In the Case of this Narc I often struggle with the concept of him having enough intellect to run a successful cult and I truly feel now that he clearly does not or else he would have had one already. What I do believe he has is strategy by default. Religion and using the man imposed guilt and later fear is what keeps cult victims in place. The moment they begin to question theology guilt is put into place and the aspiring cult leader will use the pious approach to insult the person or people they attempt to control by insinuating the deflectors are against him there for against God. Its common practice done in several churches and institutions for the sake of keeping the flock" victims in line. Now relating to the wanna be Jim Jones I dealt with we were both in ministry for about 10 years. He was around several of the church leadership so he learned about the process of ex communication and labeling those deflectors and "enemies of the Lord" or in my case Satan's bride, jezebel or in a kinder term I found in an old letter "epistle" I'm the "Samaritan woman" In the screen shots I shared above 4 years later I am still an enemy of the Lord and I practice witch craft or metaphysics. It's the easiest and therefore laziest attack because for those with less intellect that are ok with taking orders from men that subscribe to patriarchal abuse then yeah … grab the pitch fork and tiki torches lol... So the lazy abuser will resort to name calling and self righteousness, they will claim "God's" forgiveness for all their glossed over and leaked sins that slipped out the bag at one point or another. They then go ahead and preach hell and brimstone against everyone else unless they subscribe to their lies and crazy behavior. I don't know how many have had to deal with a Narc that applies the religious zealot mask but well on the bright side it definitely makes for some hilarious content. Seriously you cant make this stuff up and that's what makes it Gold.. his inane meth fueled projections are almost identical to what he uses now.. the only difference is that on his recent attacks he doesn't like to mention is flat earth and chem trail days. He won't openly talk about the videos he would send me where he was being stalked by aliens and when he was turning into a "reptilian" .. Yeah, I still have that. Instead he speaks in projections and tells people I'm secretly practicing the dark arts.. Mean while his recent victim ( new wife) has caught him casting spells and conjuring up "spirits". but anyways back to the Cult concept. This individual I speak about specifically subscribed to wanting to create his own branch of faith … With other Narcs they do the same but they groom their supporters and play a role that works well for each one of them until they feel that they have to offer loyalty to them. Most Narc men will recruit a harem of support by women that are so low in their own self esteem that they would essentially be inline to be with them if they became #Hobosexual again. Its necessary because eventually the Narc will fall into the Lazy, stealing of resources, porn and drug fueled self and the mask will fall off.. this one in particular will cry and play repented and broken until the ash and slack cloth episode works and then they start the bible study "Jesus has redeemed me " again cycle. #CultLeader #GodFatherOFSwole #ParentalAlienation #DrunkMomSucks #Jezabel #CallMeJezabel #MindofAnAbuser #PsychosOwnWords #WomanHater #JImJones #ShropshireHouse #TheLastPalma #StopsWithMe #LEgacyOFShame #Cheater #MethHead #WamanBeater #childBeater #cheater #Lazy #FakePreacher

One of the best things I’ve ever done besides birthing my 4 babies is keeping every shred of evidence including time lines and documentation of the abusers actions. I toyed w the idea of deleting a and burning on occasions way back when it was first starting because it horrified me back then.. my gut screamed no!!! So I kept it.. in all the moves that the kids and I endured loosing all we had several times in attempts to escape him physically and his torments I also carried my pleather fake LV sachel filled w letters, documents etc.. I guarded those files like I guarded the children’s birth certificates. I know he may have possibly forgotten the amount of harassment in forms of mail and messages but I’ve got it all .. I’ve got it all just in case they question why we escaped and what we escaped from

I’ve got a crazy story to tell that to most seems unbelievable but it’s all very true. I speak only because his abuse continues and his lies have been spun so insanely that he has finally lost track of them. It took 4 years for me to speak in this manner but I’m now ready to share and start the therapy that comes through writing. If I wait to “heal” I would never speak my truths because “healing” to some means being mute and moving on and letting go..I’m not letting anything go because he persists. My definition of “healing” very much when I can finally laugh and mock the abusers idiotic mistakes. I’ve come to a point where I’m getting much more therapy from laughing at what I experienced but it took years. I’ve called my IG and blog #CallMeJezebel because that’s a biblical name he seems to think hurts me since he knows how I’ve always carried myself. I’m embracing the name now because I realize it’s just a part of his many female hating traits. If a woman does not submit to his wishes he insults them.. thank God I have our daughter.. he would yell and scream at his then 5 year old daughter so often that I had to protect her from the very man that you’d think would treat her like a princess. I’ve realized that this abuser of women is also a hater of them all, he’s turned on several occasions on his mother, sisters, female cousins, female co workers (unless he’s having an affair with them), women in our old church, women that speak boldly, women that confront his lies.. and the worst one of all his daughter. Her last memories of her father are of him screaming at her because she wanted a book read to her, screaming at her because she wanted to cuddle with me her mother.. he yelled at her and would hold me by force and push her away. That is the lasting impression he left on her when I’d take them to visit their father during our separation. The biggest impact was him showing her “demons” and spirits on the phone as he kidnapped her

I’ve gone zero contact since mid April 2017 and have not flinched on that once. Zero contact is the only solution and you’re strongest tool against the abuser. It kills them that you can just leave them with their own insults and attacks in their own hands