Everything's just better in California

pasta is an antidepressant

Mongolians are cool because they’ve merged their traditional and modern ways of life so rather than having poverty due to losing all their important skills they just live in their yurts with their cows and 827474874mbs internet

sure their GDP in dollars is low but when you can survive like your anscestors did it doesn’t mean anything, nothing wrong with adding a motorcycle and wifi into the mix

Everyone should live like their ancestors did 1000 years ago but with the addition of wifi tbh

One of my students turned in a paper arguing that Hamlet and Macbeth both view death as a solution to their problems and the only difference is that Hamlet wants to kill himself and Macbeth would rather kill everybody else and I honestly treasure this insight.

what the heck were their final grades??

theatre productions about teenagers be like: *puts 30 year old man in a hoodie*

My theater teacher, casting me, a 13 y/o trying out theater for the first time, as a 100 y/o lady: please ignore her braces and haircut she is an old granny

whoever first decided to stab small holes in their ears so they could put shiny things in it was a fucking genius

reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful

i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.

all my life I’ve somehow only ever seen the gifs of this. I never even knew that the pumpkin man was dancing to the Ghostbusters theme. This whole thing is so much better than I ever could have expected from the gifs omg

one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald

hey ohio followers.. I’m sorry

i just rode through your whole state in 4 hours and saw like 3 buildings

hey op where did you see the buildings

where are the buildings op

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC

Common dog names have literally not changed in 3,000 years.