she gudgeon on my pintle till i hinge

FIVE YEARS AT FREDDY’S

me:

the one that turned a copy of ‘atlas shrugged’ into a sticky note reading ‘i hate poor people’

the ikea that you can never leave and set up survivor colonies inside, collecting frozen meatballs during the day for rations

the entirety of massachusetts

the eyepods

173 just because it shits blood everywhere and nobody really acknowledges that it does that

teddy bear! :D

vending machine that can give you literally anything

real life dollar store cheap plastic toys, but theyre actual creatures who are hollow

the eyepods

the joke scp that makes you procrastinate and the descriptions just “i’ll finish this later”

ronald reagan cut up while talking because fuck ronald reagan

just god

the eyepods

telepathic sea slug that talks like a british explorer from the 1800s

the respawning cakes that dont do anything and have a note that nothing happens when theyre eaten except for what usually happens when you eat a shitton of cake

tomatoes that go really fast and kill you when you tell them shitty jokes

just bigfoot