Demon Huntin Homies aka Worldstar
A crack fic that combines Halloween Horror Nights, Madness Combat, and Friday Night Funkin
Summary: "Gideon Grim, world renowned motivational speaker/scare coach and Hank J. Wimbleton, killing machine, team up to help friends in need with a cursed video game."
Trigger warning for: violence, blood, foul language, sexual language.
Length: 2k words
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Hank was the one to knock on the door of the large house. He stepped back next to Gideon, adjusting the shotgun over his shoulder.
The two stood on the stoop, neither bothered by the flurry beginning to fall against the lavender sky. The door before them swung open and they were greeted by a woman with long red hair and purple skin. She looked frazzled and when she saw the two men she gave a warm smile that made her red eyes glow brighter.
"Gideon! Hank! I'm so glad you guys came on such short notice." Mom said with a smile, letting the two in.
Hank had to dip his head to get through the doorway as he looked around. The house was basically a mansion, decked out in the newest fashion. If he didn't know the people he would have thought them arrogant pricks. Gideon on the other hand, whistled through his teeth. Sure the color scheme wasn't really his thing but it was impressive nonetheless.
Gideon followed shortly behind Hank with a mace strapped to his leg as he shook Mom's hand (in gloves of course)
"It's no problem really! Can you show us where the game is?" Gideon asked, softly shutting the door behind him.
"Follow me,it's in the lounge." Mom replied, turning and walking through the grand foyer.
As the three walked down the hall,they entered a large gameroom where two figures were huddled on the couch. One was a boy with blue hair and the other was a girl with hair like her mothers. Gideon made the connection that the girl was Mom's daughter and the other must be her boyfriend. Sitting next to the girl was Luis, who looked tense and nervous. The three figures looked at Gideon and Hank as they entered the room. GF didn't say anything,but gave a small smile and wave. BF seemed to shrink more into the couch, holding onto GF tight as he stared up at Gideon. Luis kept the same nervous look as his eyes switched from Gideon to Hank,eyes widening at the tall man.
"The game is right over there..." Mom motioned, nervousness now creeping into her voice.
Gideon and Hank glanced over to the flat screened tv, a Nintendo 64 plugged into it. In the cartridge was a light pink game, with only the words "Dating Sim" in floral lettering. As Hank walked over to it, taking it out of the gaming system and turning it around in his hands.
"All this trouble came from this little thing?" Hank asked, chuckling a bit under his breath. He sniffed it with confused looks.
"Smells like horny teenagers and gaslighting." Hank muttered to no one in particular. Gideon heard however.
"I'm sorry?" Gideon replied. Hank just ignored him.
BF then burst into what exactly happened, but by the end of it, Gideon was staring at Hank as his rambles turned into beeps and boops. By the end GF had pulled BF back into a hug and kissed the top of his head.
"Sorry uh, I didn't catch that last part." Gideon said, finally giving up on what BF was trying to say.
"Oh he basically said what we already know, the anime dude turning into a fucked up blood spirit." Hank replied, popping the game back into the Nintendo 64.
"How the hell do you know what he said?" Gideon asked, with a puzzled expression.
Hank just shrugged as he turned back towards the four people standing behind them.
"I suggest you guys leave. Based on what the kid told us, things can get...messy." Hank said coldly, lugging the shotgun off of his shoulder.
With concerned looks between Mom and Luis, the four slowly left the room,passing between Gideon and Hank. GF was the last to leave the room and as she did, Hank closed the door behind her. Gideon sat in front of the T.V, turning it on and grabbing a second controller.
"Does that door lock?" Gideon asked over his shoulder, plugging in controllers. Hank nodded in response.
Gideon spotted a chair in the corner and got an idea.
"Hey can you take that chair and put it against the doorknob?" Gideon asked again. Hank rolled his eyes and picked up the heavy chair with ease.
"Seems a bit like overkill don't you think? Fucker will be dead before he touches the ground." Hank replied dryly. Gideon shrugged.
"Don't want to risk him coming into the real world and escaping. Plus I don't think we can kill him, just beat him bloody." Gideon replied.
Hank walked over and plopped next to Gideon, causing a great thunk and for things to rattle around him. Gideon didn't say anything as he handed him a controller.
"If I'm player 2 I'm gonna beat the shit out of you." Hank said,in a matter of fact way. Gideon just ignored him with a smile.
Gideon set up the home screen to where it said start.
"You ready?" Hank asked, tightening the grip on his shotgun.
"Yea, hope you are." Gideon replied, pressing start.
At first the room was filled with a pink light.
Then everything went black. It was a strange feeling, like falling asleep, which Gideon had never felt before. He didn't even realize he was about to hit the floor with Hank. Then there was nothing.
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Before Gideon opened his eyes, he felt a warm breeze blow across his pale skin, a very stark contrast from the winter weather outside just minutes before. When he opened his eyes, he was met with the sight of cherry blossoms and a cloudless blue sky. It would have been nice if Gideon didn't know this was all a facade.
He sat up and looked over at Hank, still fast asleep on the grass. Gideon couldn't help but laugh to himself at how much he and Hank contrasted the light pastel world with their dark appearances.
Gideon walked over to Hank, nudging his leg with his foot. It did nothing to wake the sleeping giant of a man. He gave a few swift kicks to his shins which finally woke Hank with a start.
"Good Morning Sleeping Beauty. I was about to kiss you awake." Gideon said with a laugh. Hank just stared, blank annoyance in his eyes.
"If I didn't know you, I would tear you inside out." Hank replied dryly, getting to his feet.
Gideon just gave another cackle and playfully punched Hank's arm. The two began to walk the school grounds for a few minutes before they both saw a large group of girls standing around someone.
"I think we found our guy." Gideon said, turning to Hank.
The two placed a hand on their weapons.
As the two got closer, Hank couldn't help but notice how the girls all looked like a copy paste of each other. It was uncanny and it gave him a bad feeling.
The two were now close enough to see who was in the center of the girls attention. A boy with crisp blond hair and blue eyes. He was dressed to the 9's as a prep, even with his loose tie and casual demeanor, it was all an act.
"How are we gonna do this?" Hank asked, turning to Gideon.
"We have to get him in his spirit form. I got a plan." Gideon replied in short, simple, sentences. Hank could see Gideon opening and closing his hands into fists. He didn't even look at Hank, his eyes were focused on the target.
Without waiting for Hank to catch up, Gideon marched forward, weaving his way through the crowd. The boy in the middle heard Gideon approach. He turned and smiled at him with an empty smile. Gideon knew why.
The text box appeared and the spirit, "Senpai", spoke.
"Ah,I don't see any fair maidens looking for lo-" Senpai spoke, but before he could finish, Gideon gave a wicked grin and rushed him,wrapping his hands around his neck and squeezing.
Senpai gave a choked scream as the world suddenly went a deep blue. Gideon gripped harder, his ability to kill anything with a single touch was working. Gideon lifted a fist and brought it down as fast as he could. It worked.
He could feel Senpai under his hands begin to squirm and morph into his true form. Gideon was looking down as Senpai's eyes exploded and blood squirted out of his mouth,all into Gideon's face. If he was wearing anything white it would have been ruined. Now covered in blood, Gideon could see half red as he slammed Senpai's head into the ground over and over. Hank had finally made it forward, and he was laughing.
This caught Gideon's attention. He turned to face Hank, letting Senpai fall to the ground in shock.
"Damn bones, didn't think you could be that ruthless. Let me get in on the action." Hank said, aiming his gun.
Gideon smiled and stepped back saying with a grin, "Go right ahead good sir. But you really don't have to shoot him." It took Hank a few seconds to understand what Gideon met, but when the light bulb went off, he turned his attention back to Senpai.
He rushed Senpai, slamming the butt of the gun in his face, causing blood to explode out of him. It seemed like that was all he was made up of, an entity with paper thin skin and nothing but blood beneath. Gideon threw his head back and cackled into the sky, cheering Hank on as he brutally beat Senpai like a butcher tenderizing meat.
Gideon stepped forward again, motioning for Hank to stop. Senpai was trying to say something.
"Did...did that little whore send you? You will pay, you will pay for what the father has done." Senpai moaned out in pain. Gideon rolled his eyes and Hank just stared down at him with cold eyes.
Gideon stepped down,harshly onto Senpai's battered spirit body. More blood came squirting out with every little movement.
"No no, no one sent us. We're just here to teach you a lesson." Gideon replied coldly, still an unsettling smile on his face.
"I...I will rip everything from you. I will rip your balls from you and stuff them down your loved ones throat!" Senpai cried out angrily. Gideon didn't say anything, but his face went cold. Hank scoffed, tightening the grip on the shotgun.
"Oh why don't you shut up and stop sucking your own dick." Hank replied, slamming the gun into his stomach.
The pair, using both their weapons and hand, had never hit anything so hard in their entire life. What felt like hours to Senpai only felt like a few seconds to Gideon and Hank. By the time they were done, the grass was a deep red and the face of the spirit was twisted into something unrecognizable. Senpai no longer spoke in words, just squeals and moans of pain.
"I think we did our job, don't you think?" Gideon asked, wiping the blood off his face when more just took its place.
"No, gimme a second." Hank replied, walking back over to Senpai and stomping him over and over, like he was just a bug.
Gideon walked to the over side of him, getting close to Senpai's face with a wicked grin.
"We may not be able to kill you, but you ever pull a stunt like that again, we won't hesitate to break your bones over,and over, and over until you wish you were dead. Understand?" Gideon said coldly. Senpai didn't respond, just curled into himself.
With one final kick into the mouth of the entity, Gideon began to walk away with Hank shortly behind. The two turned back to see Senpai slowly fade away and their vision turn into pitch black once again.
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Hank was the first one awake this time, he sat up and noticed the TV was off and the room spotless. However, he and Gideon looked like they had been standing in front of a body going through a woodchipper. Without hesitation, he slapped Gideon awake.
"Ah fuck, ok ok I'm up." Gideon replied back, rubbing his cheek. He looked up at the clock and noticed it was 10 p.m. The two had arrived at 6 p.m.
Getting up slowly, to make sure he didn't drip blood all over the nice wooden floor, Gideon made his way to the door, moved the chair aside and unlocked the door.
He stepped into the hallway and glanced over to the kitchen, where GF and BF sat at the kitchen table. GF looked unphased as BF was trembling in his seat.
"I don't think you have to worry about him for a while. Just, don't play that game anymore." Gideon said, making his way to the front door (but not before giving BF a wicked grin. He couldn't help but loved scaring people.)
Hank followed behind, not giving a shit that he was spreading blood everywhere. He would clean it later if he had to, but for now the job was done.
As the two made it to the front door, they swiftly passed Mom and Luis, giving them a nod, and heading back out into the cold winter night. It was snowing hard now, leaving crimson trails in the snow.
