we are all infected

cats are so fake like they’re theoretically related to apex predators and yet they weigh 8 pounds, sleep 20 hours a day, and scream if you feed them half an hour later than usual

I deeply sympathize because I also like to sleep an unreasonable amount and yell when hungry.

I still love it though

LORD! ALL DA TIME

A+ GIF USAGE

3 am is such a powerful time. there are people sleeping. there are people partying. there are people having a movie marathon. there are people crying. there are people loving. there are people dying. there are people living. toegther at 3 am.

don’t romanticize 3 am everyone should be in bed!!!! go to sleep bitch!!!!!

raw me this raw me that. Y’all don’t even eat vegetables relax

M'Baku wrote this

my friend is studying for the mcat and was just trying to explain to me about heat transfer and she said ‘you know, like the reason you get cold when you go outside on a freezing day is that your tiny human body is trying to warm up the entire universe’ and i think that’s the best thing i have ever heard

I kind of needed this today. Thank you.

no offense but …. womaniser woman womaniser youre a womaniser (oh) womaniser (oh) youre a womaniser baby :/

I was about to get mad.. and then…

😂😂😂 she really took one for the team

LMFAO it’s so many white girls that need to see this

does anyone else remember tumblr’s ‘fan mail’ feature or was that some weird artificial memory that was inserted into my brain 

you know they never actually got rid of it? they just removed the button. if you go to blogname.tumblr.com/send you can still send fanmail because this website is garbage and we’re all trapped here

oh my god i just killed it in the mcdonalds drive thru

she heard my order exactly, i didn’t stutter, no uhhhh from me. clean, normal human interaction, just a fluid conversation. so cool

Friendly reminder to check you’re not holding tension in your body. Let your shoulders drop, unclench your hands and jaw. Take a deep breath. Much better.

concept: the year is 2034. i walk into work with coffee in hand. coworker is wearing cool shoelaces and i compliment them absentmindedly. they look me dead in the eye and say, “thanks, i stole them from the president.” scalding coffee leaks out of every one of my orifices and i hide in the bathroom convulsing for the rest of the day

@elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey can you explain this i don’t understand

it is physically painful to remember that people have continued to join tumblr since 2012 and that there are people–perhaps people reading this! right now!!!–who don’t have the foggiest memory of this fucking post.  this post haunted me, do you understand, i saw and heard this code used in REAL FUCKING LIFE, I CANT FKJCLNG HANDLE THIS

attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon