I Would Never Harm A Chimpanzee No Matter What

I don’t like making fun of furries to begin with, especially since they’re not all as bad as a lot of people make them out to be. But definitely, don’t lean on the horn with Violent J.

If you don’t know, Violent J is the leader of Insane Clown Posse. His daughter is a furry. Despite his notoriety, J isn’t rich at all. So you can imagine when his daughter ordered a fur suit and essentially got scammed (which, by the way, as someone who makes stuffed animals from time to time and alters clothes here and there– faux fur is pretty expensive if it’s the good kind. An entire suit out of the shit is a whole ass arm) they were pissed.

But instead of J just kinda shrugging it off or shaming her for being trickers or whatever, the man made a whole call out video to the company and set it up like a show.

“This music is barely warranting of the term, but the creators are benevolent, supportive dudes and the fans are honestly pretty cool most of the time.”

because its a steep slope walking diagonally down or diagonally up on a slope is significantly harder than walking a straight line up and or down the slope except for this part that levels out near the end where the slope is significantly less steep because the hill around the stairs has been carved out just enough to place them in

No-kill shelters TURN AWAY animals. When they’re full - and they often are because most of these no-kill shelters are small - they stop taking them in. While they are “taking their time to find the right homes for every single animal”, many other animals never get in the door. Somehow they don’t count those animals, or track what happens to them. A success for them doesn’t include the ones they turned away. They’re taking their time because they can. 

The No-Kills who brag about 100% adoption rates are the worst, because they tend to reject the most. The animals who will be difficult to adopt out? They just don’t take those. Special needs? Too old? If they’re going to be hard to adopt out, they can claim to be full, even if they’re not. 

They are telling owners they absolutely cannot take their fifteen year old cat because they are full of litters of kittens. Adorable kittens that will turn over quickly, and boost their adoption numbers. So what happens to the fifteen year old cat? After days of being rejected at the shelters they get dumped on the side of the road somewhere, or worse. 

You cannot imagine the VOLUME of animals that a city shelter deals with. The kill shelters are not allowed to turn anyone away. The difficult cases, the special needs, the elderly, the feral. The dog that bites, the cat that pees everywhere. Every animal is going to be taken in and treated with kindness. They are going to be assessed and treated for their fleas and conditions and behavioral problems. They will get their time on the adoption floor. They will get the best chance possible to find a new home. And if it’s not possible, they will be humanely euthanized, and that cage space will go to the next animal who is already waiting for it. It never stops. While you were working on the paperwork to adopt out 1 cat, three people brought in 4 more. It’s a numbers game that you cannot win if you aren’t turning people away.

A lot of times kill shelters get the animals that the no-kill shelters refused to take. Maybe their owners bring them. Or maybe they got literally thrown in the garbage, abandoned, or put in a bag and tossed in the river, when the no-kill shelter said they were full. The police and rescuers will bring these poor injured animals to the city shelter where they will be cared for. The volunteers will spend days and weeks trying to wash the tar out of their fur, or treat their broken bones, or whatever other horrible thing has happened to them. They will feed and house them. They will put most of them in new homes. They will save many many more animals, by orders of magnitude, than a no-kill shelter ever will. A no-kill shelter will brag about dozens or maybe hundreds of  adoptions. Kill shelters are dealing in thousands of successful adoptions, and they still have to euthanize because it just isn’t enough. There are just so many animals to take in.

The difference between a “kill” and “no-kill” shelter is so misunderstood and prompts me to write a 7 tweet rant on why you need to know the difference and give equal support to both

Municipal shelters are more often tagged as “kill shelters” because they are contractually obligated to serve the community they reside in. If Cleveland City Kennel, Lorain County Kennel, and others alike get a call for an animal they HAVE to bring it in regardless of their

current volume of dogs. So if they have 20 kennels and all are full they must bring it in regardless. Contrasting, private shelters (more often “no kill” shelters) have the ability to pick and choose when and what to accept into their shelter. They do not have to exceed their

max amount of animals. So going back, people often boast that they’d never support a “kill shelter”, never volunteer for one, never adopt from one, never even visit one. And essentially, that’s the problem. Since they are contractually obligated to take in an every animal in their

municipality and they get no adoptions, inadequate staff, no support from the community, no adoptions animals are senselessly euthanized because of the stigma that they are creating themselves. If we all showered municipal shelters with the same love “no kill” private shelters

got, euthanasia wouldn’t even be considered because kennels would open because the community supports them and adopts/fosters/etc. “Kill shelters” aren’t full of monsters who hate animals, they’re typically minimally staffed with volunteers that work so hard to save every single

animal with little to not supports from their community. thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, support your local shelters. All of em :)

By Michael from Arc System Works and Spamton from @musicwithspamton

[Chorus]

Oooh

It’s my digital circus life

She’s my digital circus wife

That pomni jester with the novelty sweatshirt

She's having a semester with W.D Gearster

I just wanna hang out with my digital circus partner

[Verse 1]

I load up my ps3, I’ve got somewhere to be

Eternal misery, ex-wife is now a divorcee

But what is this I see? A jester on my SCREEN (yell to hide lack of rhyme)

But what is this new scheme, she hit me with her yuri beam

[Bridge]

Oooh and then I become a girl

Ooooh Because pomni amazing digital circus is a lesbian in this world

[Chorus]

Oooh

It’s my digital circus life

She’s my digital circus wife

That pomni jester with the novelty sweatshirt

She's having a semester with W.D Gearster

I just wanna hang out with my digital circus girl

[Verse 2]

I meet with Caine and he is strange

I meet with Zooble and they are unusual

I meet with Gangrene and she is Samwise

I meet with Ragatha and I’m not mad at her

I meet with Jax and he is Back

I meet with gummigoo and he is not mad at you

I meet with Michael and he’s in a cycle

I meet with Spamton and he’s not from Hampton

I have to save them from the digital circus

[Verse 3: Eminem's sex verse]

Caine's deranged it’s strange this re-arranged range, this maze I play in has strained my brain with no refrain.

Got trouble with bubble I’m bubbling double trouble toil and troubling boobies on a flat backed baddie, I’m mad he said Maddie was a flatty hochi mammy broaching that she cannae barely stand the way that he walks the way that he talks the way that he’s dressed best breasts for guest sex with jax his back is blown out, he's slack on the ground, I’m searching around for coins in his loins - I go to where no gnomes know no-“mmm”s, the gnome zone's sewn tome tones gloam groans from Jax while I have amazing digital sex with him.

[Bridge]

Oooh and then I become her girl

Ooooh Because pomni amazing digital circus is a lesbian in this world

[Guest Verse: Pomni]

(Sung) Miss Michael! You must trichael your best, to defeat all the rest, and save us all from this digital circust

[Spoken Word Skit]

“Don’t worry 35 year old Jester. I’ll rescue all of you”

“You’re so handsome and dreamy”

“Thank you bisexual representation Eminem, but I’m taken, by Pomni”

[Chorus]

(Orchestra hit riff)

Oooh

It’s my digital circus world

She’s my digital circus girl

That pomni clown with the novelty gown

She's at her graduation with W.D Gaster

I just wanna hang out with my digital circus wife