hella gay

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

"Summon ketamine ape is a banned spell" fuck it fine whatever, I summon a normal gorilla. I summon some ketamine.

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

queer people on this site really make me feel like a confused straight guy at pride. the discourse here could kill a man

"why polyamorous people aren't valid" "mspec lesbians AREN'T okay actually" "aroallos are freaks" "he/him dni. cis men dni" "this post is for non-men only" yessss and the one with long hair goes in the girl box, then the one with short hair goes in the boy box!!

maybe I'm just a boring he/him white guy but inventing about 7 trillion terms to define "man" and "woman" so you can reinforce gender essentialism isn't very "love is love" of you. maybe i just don't have a sexuality but picking and choosing what sexualities are normal and which ones are "weird and predatory" sounds like we're all a bunch of republicans on fox news. if you attend your local pride parade and look REAAALLLYYY closely, you'll notice you can't actually tell if someone's gay or not from their appearance, and there's no way to know if they're "invading queer spaces". maybe it's just me, but when i attended my local gaybar last night for the drag show, they didn't ask for my gay-card with a peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot stamped on it. they just let me in the building. i live a life of bliss and luxury in not caring about any queer discourse ever, and just going "WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY :-)" while booting up the latest cod game. and it seems much more fun than whatever the fuck you people are on about

sorry dude i got distracted by the beautiful river of chest hair you have flowing between your tits, can you repeat that?

Just woke up from a dream that was just me watching a full, surprisingly coherent Seinfeld episode except it was set in the modern era. The plot was that George decides to get one of those hair replacement system toupees that make it look like the wearer has a taper fade haircut but everyone thinks his new hair looks like Drake the rapper’s. At first he’s upset about the constant jokes about it, but when he gets some positive attention from a lady who’s a Drake fan, he starts buying clothes identical to Drake’s and copying his outfits to a T, then start acting like Drake. It all ends up being so annoying, Jerry and Elaine decide to get in contact with the real Drake to try and convince him to sue George for identity theft.

If Ilya and Shane actually wrestled like no holds barred to the death full competition mode rough and tumble fighting, I think most of the time Shane would win. Shane is used to Ilya throwing him around and pinning him down, but Ilya gets tossed to the ground once and gets so turned on he passes out. Shane yells at him and pins him and he just gives up because he's so horny he cannot actually think. Their friends are like oh my god Shane you're hurting him! And Ilya is lying there under him so so so pleased like yayyyy I love being pinned by my huge sexy jock boyfriend #mysexyjockboyfriend DO NOT SAVE HIM he is exactly where he wants to be!!

I believe #inmyheart that ‘which one of them is stronger’ changes throughout the season, but they never know when exactly it’s going to flip, and I think this adds extra fun to their wrestling

i think people are starting to confuse class analysis with bioessentialism. like... no not all men do this, but Men as a constructed social class do do this. that's still okay to say. that is regular material analysis of the world around us.

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive