Got a funny feeling about today~

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

“AI fanfic sounds like it was written by a wattpad 13 year old”? WRONG!!! AI could never replicate the raw self-indulgent mischaracterization and beautifully unrealistic plot holes of an 8th grader discovering her first sad fictional man.

im a protected species you fucking asshole

masturbation is evil not for any puritan anti-fun reason but because it has permanently claimed so many verbs

nobody can crank anything anymore. and god forbid you jerk

turning off rbs at 75k btw so get your last reblogs in now

What are your thoughts on musk?

i hope he dies

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for