bite me

hello vampire sickos, particularly dracula sickos, let's talk about medieval manuscripts. I'm not sure how familiar bram stoker would have been with late gothic religious movements and popular worship, but in the latter portion of the middle ages there was a big, widely practiced, and officially ecclesiastically endorsed push for lay people and the clergy to form personal emotional connections with christ and the virgin by just getting like stupidly horny about them. you've got personal devotional texts with illustrations of a completely nude christ displaying his long willowy limbs and coquettishly asking a nun to penetrate his side wound with her huge fuck-off spear, you've got monks imagining sculptures of the crucifixion coming to life to make out with them and christ our lord liking it so much that he opens his mouth to add a little tongue action, it was a great time to be a freak.

i don’t know how many people on tumblr know about “verticals” - they’re cheaply made soap operas that are filmed vertically so you can watch them on your phone. they’re infamous in the acting world because of the poor writing and nonsensical plots - almost always has something to do with a mafia boss or a vampire or a werewolf - and they always have insane titles like “pregnant with the ceo’s baby” or “forced to marry the alpha king.” i come across tons of them on casting websites and they all have wild titles and descriptions but none of them, None of Them, have truly grabbed me like the title i saw today: