"no one seeing them could doubt their love" Independent blog for Annie Cresta of The Hunger Games. Written by Haley Please read rules before interacting.
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Nice to meet you
Where you been?
I could show you incredible things
The last thing he had ever expected to be was Reaped, let alone the youngest Victor ever. And with each passing year and each increasing bid on his bed, he barely had the sentiment to put emotional stock in his Tributes when, Career or not, odds were never in any Tribute's favor.
Yet wide green eyes stared at him from pale skin--highly rare for a District Four citizen--and a dark mess of curls, taking in his advice, actually listening, actually planning.
A girl. A dockhand.
She had no chance, but if anyone was going to help her, it was going to be him.
Magic, madness, heaven, sin
Saw you there and I thought, "Oh my, God,
Look at that face, you look like my next mistake
Love's a game, wanna play..."
Her screams were torture, yet just one smile, if he could ever get just one smile from her pale pink lips, she changed his perception of life itself and the meaning to the universe. In her dark green eyes that saw through souls and secrets alike, he saw beauty and agony, life and love, prejudice and forgiveness all in her.
She terrified him.
He loved her.
New money, suit and tie
I can read you like a magazine
Ain't it funny rumors fly
And I know you heard about me
So hey, let's be friends
I'm dying to see how this one ends
Grab your passport and my hand
I could make the bad guys good for a weekend
She watched him and as much as he hid his agony in a perfected smile and scripted flirtations, he could not hide from her the exhaustion in his eyes and the pain and tension deeply set into his broad shoulders that held her so tightly at night in futile attempts to stave away each other's nightmares.
The Finnick Odair at the Capitol was not the Finnick Odair that starved himself on sugar cubes and was not the Finnick Odair that braided her hair to calm the trembling in his hands and was not the modest Finnick Odair that would fix her hammock and cook her dinner and stand by her side without fail.
Quickly, and with a tearful confession, she realized that her Finnick was the only real Finnick and that District Four was his only home.
So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game
Without care or caution, she dared to give her entire heart and soul to him. Not like she actually had any choice in the matter, really. Not when his smile unwrote her reality to a positive world where she could be safe and forget about all of her friends, family members, and strangers that condemned her pain in a lethal sentence of insanity.
Oh, but he didn't see her like that. He saw her as beautiful and he kissed her as if she was normal and as if they weren't Victors and wore bloody crowns and could love each other normaly.
So she dared to love him, knowing he was never completely hers to love.
Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I got a blank space baby
And I'll write your name
Out of all the lovers, out of all the clients, out of all the abusers, no one knew him. Johanna and Cashmere and Mags were friends and allies and he cared for them, but they didn't have her eyes that pierced through every wall with one look.
She rarely spoke, but did she really need to with one look and one outstretched hand, she knew every thought that had ever crossed in his damaged mind? It bewildered him how Panem called her crazy when she was the singular most sane person he'd ever met. Annie just saw too much. She was too perceptive and was too empathetic and too prone to forgiveness. Her heart carried the pain of the world.
No wonder she screamed so loud.
Oh, but God, even if he could only have her for a short amount of time, and he knew how destroyed he would be without her, and even if he was never someone that was created to commit, he was devoted to those allseeing eyes.
Cherry lips
Crystal skies
I could show you incredible things
Stolen kisses, pretty lies
You're the king baby I'm your queen
Find out what you want
Be that girl for a month
But the worst is yet to come
Oh no
She was a broken, shattered image of stained glass and he was the heavens above. Her heart and mind tried every day to be stronger for him, but despite her pink kisses and the perfect Four skies, her love was stolen. Her love would always be a thief's love as her love was not paid for.
Every time he came from the Capitol, she was reminded of that.
He cried in her arms and resisted touch, but still collapsed against her body and she tried her best to be strong for him. She tried to be strong when he left and she tried to be strong when he returned, but she wasn't strong. It was an useless goal to attempt, for every time she couldn't heal him, her jagged shards of reality became only sharper.
Screaming, crying, perfect storms
I could make all the tables turn
Rose garden filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like oh my god
Who is she? I get drunk on jealousy
But you'll come back each time you leave
Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream
He stared at the sleeping client in his bed and had to gag himself with sheets to keep from screaming his grief. Ever since being foolish enough to love Annie, each client he had to be with shredded his conscience to pieces. She was so perfect, so pure, so lovely and such a good person. He thought of the age old saying between Victors: No one decent ever wins the Games, and everytime he thought of his Annie, his beautiful mermaid personified into a creature so divine she was crafted from the heavens above.
And though her mind would leave him in silent spells that lasted for days, somehow he was lucky enough for her to return to him. She didn't see all of thee horrific things he did, though. How could she not see the monster he was inside? How could she forget the way he slaughtered children, some even younger than him when he won?
How could she let him touch her after he spent weeks pleasuring others?
So that is why he cried. That is why he broke down. Because he was a fallen angel incarnate and she was the rare Grace of God that had dared to forgive his sins.
Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you
Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you
Luke. Luke was his name. He was a healthy baby that learned how to swim only months after he learned to walk and he was strong and he was good and he was kind and he was loyal and he was brave.
He was every memory of his father that kept her lying awake at night.
Finnick raised a hand in the air as he scurried towards the quiet girl.
He caught up to her with a smile on his face, his bronze curls falling
into his face. He brushed them away carelessly. Having a word with
the teacher had prevented him from accompanying her out the door,
a duty he took very seriously. Since he had seen some idiot kid
picking on her in the halls, he had been quick to take up a duty as
bodyguard whenever he saw her.
"Did you do well? On the test, I mean."
Their sociology test, while not impossible, had been quite challenging
though Finnick had done well enough on it. He had taken up the topic
for conversation more out of habit than anything else. He was still
learning the likes and dislikes of Annie Cresta, a very quiet girl. He
only learned about her piece by piece, when she chose to give out
such information to him.
"Oh! Finnick!" she blushed, looking down. He usually walked
her to class time after time without a second thought, but he
had to speak to the professor and she didn't want to bother
him and had subsequently left without him. The last thing
she had expected was to run to catch up with her.
"Oh. Um. I actually got a really good grade," she smiled,
shyly casting her eyes down a little as she wrapped her
coat around herself.
"Thanks for studying with me. You didn't have to do that.
I...did you do well?" she asked after a hesitation that was
probably incredibly awkward for him. She was just...quiet.
Her words were the only thing that cut through the panic filled haze around
his mind, the beast that demanded to be fed by the feeling of Annie,
hearing her words, reassuring himself she was still there. Gradually,
his kisses slowed, more so as she promised to never leave him. It
was just what he needed to hear, desperately needed. His fingers
trembled as they held her face, though it was easier with her hands
cradling his own face.
"I’m sorry." His voice cracked slightly, hardly noticeable but there all
the same. “I’m sorry, Annie.” He hadn’t meant to get so suddenly
spooked. The fear had crept up on him.
"I love you." The words reassured him too, as though saying them
would keep Annie closer to him. He took big breaths to try and rid
himself of the ragged ones that had been so plaguing him before.
In and out, in and out. He focused on Annie, one hand sliding from
her cheek to find its way into her hair.
"Your hair is so soft." It was an out of the blue statement, but perhaps
his surprise stemmed from never having noticed just how soft it was.
It was like holding silk, and he had felt silk plenty of times. But her
hair was nicer. It smelled like sea water. His fingers methodically
moved through it, growing steadier with his breaths and his trembling
began to disappear.
He wasn’t braiding it or knotting it like usual. This time he was just
content to play with it, pushing strands around in seemingly
pointless ways. He sighed slowly as his heart rate returned to
something more normal, more steady. Annie made everything okay.
"Ssssh, Finn. It's okay," she murmured, carefully pressing her
forehead to his as her hushed murmurs got quieter, softer as
he started to calm in her arms. He didn't always calm quickly,
but she was grateful he at least always came back to her. If
he ever left, whether of his volition or not, she didn't know if
the sun or sea could bring her out of bed.
Even when he was recovering from clients' damage, though,
even when he was triggered, even when he had trouble with
coping--he came back to her, just as she came back to him.
Annie often needed space from the world itself, but never
would she willingly leave his arms, his kisses, or his reassurances.
"I love you, too, Finn," she murmured, nuzzling her nose
against his, pressing her smaller body to his, collapsing
herself further into his arms. Her head turned a little into
his palm smoothing against her hair and his fingers gently
stroking, combing, twirling soft tendrils around his fingers.
Eventually, as he played with her hair, she could feel the
rise and fall of his chest against hers start to slow and steady
and his hands ceased to tremble and she knew he was out
of the woods, at least for this moment. He was back to her.
She sank a little against the bed and slipped her face into the
curve of his neck, arms wrapping around his middle. She closed
her eyes and let herself rest and repair in his arms.
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Finnick scooted a little closer towards the pup, wanting to pet
it but not wanting to startle it. He settled for watching it with
curious eyes instead. “There used to be a cranky old victor
who lived here and threw stones at any dogs that came into
the village. He died a few years ago but the dogs don’t
come here unless they’re desperate.”
Finnick remembered that man all too well. He had never liked
Finn. Or Gill. He had once tried to shoo Gill out of the village.
That was, until his big brother came along.
"Poor dogs," she frowned, hugging the puppy a little
tighter to her chest. The little dog happily nuzzled back
into her warm body, closing is eyes as if he was perfectly
content to nap in her arms forever.
Finnick could still remember everything about Annie. Wasn’t that
strange? He had lost himself in the walls, this collar had taken
away most everything that had made him Finnick Odair. But he
could still remember every single detail of Annie Cresta. What she
liked, what she didn’t like. The color of her dress against her eyes
on the day of their wedding…
Finnick shivered slightly. It was cold in this room, all of a sudden.
He would have thought at least the heat of his blood would keep him
warm, still trickling out of his wounds. He had seen floggings before,
knew how they were supposed to be treated. Leaving it raw and exposed
was not good, it prompted infection. Still, he couldn’t find it in himself
to care. He found a scant comfort in his own tears, the salty water on
his lips reminding him of his beloved sea. As though it still lived in him
and it leaked from his eyes to comfort him.
A cold spot pressed against his cheek and Finnick frowned, wondering
why it would just be there. His head slowly moved to look if there was a
vent or something where it could be coming from. What he saw sent an
entirely different chill through his veins. Finn scrambled to sit, pulling
himself as close to the wall as he could without touching his aching back
to it. Not having food or water must have gone to his head faster than he
thought it would. It looked like he was seeing Annie.
"You’re not real." He moaned to himself, burying his head in his hands
once again. “Not real. Not real.” He had dreamed of Annie coming to
rescue him before, along with a ragtag group of rebel survivors. But
that was a desperate dream and he knew it. The rebellion had been
crushed to dust and Annie was far away, being held who knows where.
Annie was out of his reach but his brain decided to torment him. His
fingers went to his hair and began pulling at it, as though to pull the
very image of Annie out of his brain. “Not real. You’re not real.”
Why he continued to torment himself, he didn’t know. It was cruel and
he didn’t need this on his mind during his forced three day imprisonment.
He didn’t need to think about Annie. And he didn’t need to think about his
child, whom his brain had imagined in his wife’s arms.
She startled back when he turned to see her. His sea green
eyes shocked open and he nearly flung himself close to the
wall. A yelp escaped her lips as she covered her mouth, trying
not to imagine the pain his back was in. She was so stupid to
try and see him, but the last thing Annie had actually expected
was for Finnick to actually see her. How could she have ever
expected that?
"I--Finnick..." she swallowed, wondering if speaking would be
too much for him, or if it was just better for her to leave completely
and never torment him like this again. He didn't deserve to
suffer from her own selfish curiosity. She just...she just had to
see him. Now, though, after seeing him, she knew that she
could never move on without him.
"I'm not real. I'm so sorry," she whimpered, tears brimming in
her seaweed eyes. A hand moved to touch him, but she brought
it back to her chest, shaming herself again. She couldn't touch
him. Her hand would just fall through his skin all over again and
her selfishness would only frighten him more.
"I'm---I'm so sorry." How on earth could she tell him that she was
dead, his son was dead, and he was completely alone with nothing
to live for an no escape from his endless hell? How could she
absolutely shatter him like that? He deserved more than her, more
than she had ever given him. Even in death, her frailty was
hurting him.
Her arms wrapped tighter around their whimpering son to quell
her instinct to reach for him and hold him. This was so foolish,
so naive. What on earth had made her feel like going to him would
be a good idea or give her any type of closure?
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so i hit 1.5 k followers this past week and i’m planning on writing
out this long following post thing but i figured that i could do a little
giveaway as well. i recently started making my icons differently
and would like to get more practice. so the rules are simple; you
must be following me and you’ve got to reblog this post. it’ll be a
flash giveaway so i will randomly choose a person (or however
many depending on how many notes this gets) on january 25th at
3 pm cst. good luck. i just wanna make stuff and get better at it.
this is the oops i didn’t make it home by 3 update so this is going to go on until 5 pm CST — so in an hour and twenty minutes, i’ll pick random people.
Finnick chuckled as the little kitten nipped at him,
wiggling his fingers to make them harder to catch.
He liked this kitten. The two could use some pure
light in their lives.
Only a few seconds later did the kitten cease nipping
at his fingers did she start licking him affectionately.
Annie giggled and scratched behind the small kitten's
ears.
"I still don't know what to name her, though."
Finnick’s smile was almost sleepy with contentment as
he rested his head on her knee, looking up at her with
puppy-like adoration. He thought through the names and
Noah seemed particularly good to him. Still he said
nothing, watching her sift through the names.
"I’m not sure. I have a girl’s name in mind but I know
we need both a girl and a boy.” He bit his lip slightly,
still looking up at her. “I like Noah, though. Remember
that old story about a flood covering the whole earth?
Noah built a boat and lived.”
"I remember," she smiled, brushing his hair back a little.
There was a smear of yellow paint on his neck and she
wiped it off for him, looking down at him with complete
admiration in her eyes. He was her everything, after all,
and she was ecstatic to be able to get this future with him.
"What were you thinking about for girl's names?" She asked,
lightly rocking back and forth on her heels, leaning back in
the curve of the hammock.
It seemed odd, that Finnick’s first instinct would be to sing
to his cellmate. It was a little old song from Four, something
every citizen there seemed to know almost instinctively,
similar to their famous swimming skills. Finnick sang strong
though quiet, eyes scanning worriedly over Annie.
He hoped the song would soothe her. He hoped it would keep
her there with him, because right now he needed her too.
She wasn't there with him. She was far from him, lost in her own
thoughts, shivering from the cold and trembling because of her fear.
They weren't in Four. They weren't safe. She was with Finn, yes, but
she was terrified of where they were. The Capitol...the Capitol.
Annie was limp against the stone floor with her head lying lifelessly
in his lap. With the exception of the rise and fall of her chest, she was
as still as a corpse.
Katniss was about to answer her when the sound
of footsteps could be heard outside and her eyes
widened as the door was slung open. It creaked
against it’s hinges and Katniss scrambled to stand
as the peacekeepers rushed into the room. Her
bare feet slipped against the cool floor and they
easily grabbed hold of her.
"No!" She screamed, thrashing as they each seized
one or her arms, pulling her from the room. The door
slammed behind them and she continued to scream,
crying out until they pressed a needle into her arm and
moments later everything went dark.
Annie scrambled into the corner as they took Katniss
away, fearing that she was next. There was screaming
and sounds of struggles and Annie clamped over her
ears in a feeble attempt to avoid hearing such painful
sound. Of course, it didn't work, and seconds later,
Peacekeepers seized her.
She was practically tossed back into her cell, bruised,
aching, and no clothes. A sheet was thrown on her and
the door was slammed shut.
Annie cried, sobbed and knelt, hands over her ears.
She needed Finnick.
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Finnick could feel tears through his shirt. Raw heat burst into his throat and into his eyes as they lay there. Heat of anger and of tears threatened to overcome him as Annie curled into him. One hand, as lightly as possible, stroked her hair, while tears fell to his pillow, unseen to her closed eyes.
He was going to kill them. He was going to kill every bastard Peacekeeper who had dared lay a hand on his Annie. He hadn’t felt this blood lust since Mags’ death, and Gill’s. He felt it was a wonder Annie did not flinch away from the heat in his core, the fire of an anger lit by love. Love made people do desperate, crazy things. It made Finnick want to feel the weight of the trident in his hand again, to feel it sink into the chest of Snow, to watch the blood ooze out of the man that had made Annie fear. He felt like an animal.
He didn’t care.
"I’m going to protect you." His voice came wobbly, from between clenched teeth as he plotted every possible painful death for her assailants. Finnick could be good at hurting people. He had been on the other end long enough.
She truly hurt, inside and out. Finnick's presence only stopped the
agonizing ache in her chest from growing stronger, but was still in
agony. Her hips were tender and sore, her wrists stung from healing
cuts, her neck ached in bruises and her skin crawled with disgust,
invasive and raw. Her eyes opened to his arms around her, but she
could feel ever jagged edge in her mind so clearly.
Maybe she was crazy. Maybe Snow had finally broken her. Maybe
she wasn't in Thirteen at all, Finnick was gone, and she was truly alone.
Her mind was cold and dark as her ocean eyes, red around the edges
from tears, stared on to a world beyond them. She was too unstable to
stop the onslaught; everything that hurt was replaying in her memories.
Matthew's death and his hot blood on her face; the cold, cold water of
the Arena's flood; her Victory Tour and watching Panem mock her pain;
realizing Finnick was truly a slave to the Capitol; Finnick and Mag's
reaping, Mag's death, and the months spent in the Capitol spent at the
mercy of the Peackeeper's animalistic cravings.
Everything hurt.
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