A Stone's Throw From Nowhere

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

“what time is it” you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy”

where's that post of someone getting a letter from their bank like "dear keith we realise you're just taking the piss but every time you venmo your mate for 'al-qaeda training camp' we do have to, by law, fill out a lot of boring paperwork for the police so we'd really appreciate it if you'd stop doing that"

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

being single sucks [remembers that romantic love isnt the gleaming beacon of salvation that will fix the chasm within me] #mychasm #isupportmychasm [remembers not to trivialize my emotions] but it is painful to never have been deemed worthy of that kind of lasting love [remembers how many incels there are] but honestly you should be totally self-sufficient and never want anything ever [remembers that im evil] im evil

And for the lady, perhaps reassurance without having to ask for it?

they call me the avoider for reasons i don't really want to talk about

i wish i had a dick so i could experience erectile dysfunction