come get sheetfaced.

That’s really what strangers do - ask you very not kind things. At least you’re man. Strangers think they can touch women most times it’s super gross. And well, most times you just should answer the craziest thing that comes to mind like - yes I was ther last night, my alien friend wanted to know the place. Or something like that.

The price of celebrity, I suppose. I agree though, women do have it worse. I’m thankful no one comes up to me and touches me, or else I may throw a fit about it. That’s a good idea! People seem to think I look a bit alien, anyways.

Smart ass? No. I have a deer in headlights look that can scare people away from ever asking the question again. Would that help you out? Or what about the classic “nunya bidness”? Does that work?

I’m not sure my eyes are big enough for that. But if you’d like to be my own personal bodyguard, I’ll pay, haha. That works, too!

In my experience, it’s always best to ignore. I know it’s easier said than done, but the only thing you create is chaos when you give them shit for being in your business. That or I just twist their questions and put some humor in it so they could sense that I don’t want to answer them. 

I think ignoring is going to be best in my case, too. Not that I care much about my reputation, but if I’m mean, it won’t go over well for me. And I wouldn’t like to be mean, anyways. I like your idea. I may just start acting like I haven’t got a clue what they’re talking about.

Oh yeah, adults should learn to think before they speak, but no. That doesn’t always happen I guess. You can totally use that one! Haha. I’m Grant, by the way. Welcome to town!

I’m starting to believe a lot of people don’t think before they speak. Thank you, though, Grant. It’s great to meet you. I’m Charlie.

Just because they think they know they have this suspicion that it’s their right to know. As if you owe it to them for some answers. When, obviously, you don’t. For smart-ass responses, I think a simple “fuck you” would suffice, but my husband is a little better when it comes to responding to those type of situations and people. I always tend to walk away and resume back to whatever I was doing. Though, I rarely ever get confronted in the first place. Sorry you had to deal with someone who wanted to butt in. It’s always a difficult and awkward situation.

I think I may not have the heart to say that to a stranger’s face, though. Perhaps I can hire someone to be mean for me, or would that be rather ridiculous? Walking away might just be the better option, in my case. I’m glad you haven’t run into that situation often. Yeah, you’re absolutely right.

So I’ve been watching some crime documentaries and there was one about a girl who went missing. Literally years passed and a serial killer had confessed to murdering her, the whole lot. While he was on trial for her murder, she was discovered to be hidden in her boyfriend’s place. Can you believe it? Almost makes you wonder how many times someone will confess to a crime they didn’t do. Anyway, enough about stories of insanity, what’ve you been up to today?

You weren’t watching them at night, were you? Because you might be in some trouble, then. Haven’t been up to much. I’ve been looking for you, though...

Oh, that’s one way of putting it. It’s cute when kids ask the most random questions and you just have a good laugh about it. So you’d just humor them right? There’s always the ever-favorite. “I’m from the island of nunya… nunyabusiness…” Ba dum tss.

I wouldn’t be angry if it was kids. They wouldn’t ask the things that adults do. But, I may just have to use that one.

The smart-ass response would depend on which inappropriate question they were asking but I’ve got a whole library of them that you’re welcome to borrow from anytime you need! Hopefully that wasn’t your introduction to Bayview because it’s really representative, I promise!

I’ll take the entire library, thank you. It’s not even one thing people ask about anymore, it’s a couple of things. Which is exhausting. It didn’t happen here, no. This is a good place to have run off to.

I’m sorry you have to deal with assholes like that. Some people just don’t know how to mind their own damn business. I have to ask, though—what did they ask you? That’ll help with the sarcastic response.

Thank you, I appreciate it. They asked about some... trouble, I’d gotten into recently. Definitely not something I want to discuss with strangers.

But that’s when you met me and i have the perfect tips to get rid of it easily. don’t worry i won’t get near you when i used one and i will only get to you when i am glitter free.

Thank you, I’d appreciate the tips in case I get stuck in that predicament. Which I really hope I don’t.

Well, hi. Nice to meet you, Charlie. Music is a very good choice because I’m listening to music now. You write songs? I feel so out of the loop about stuff.

It’s nice to meet you too, Emily. I don’t write the songs, no, I just play the drums. I don’t have a very good singing voice, I think.