pizza slayer

That’s a harsh wish to ask for. You’re a cruel woman. You saw me cross my legs? Like I was getting comfortable? 

I am. I am a cruel Diva, as you know. Ah, no. I saw you walking in a drunk way, that’s it. Not that not all of us weren’t doing the same. 

That much might be true, so next year, we’ll drag you along so we can compare! I’m a great friend, I brought macarons back all the way from France, just for you Shay, how dare you say such a thing! That’s probably the one I would go with too, if I’m being honest. Getting more trashed always seems like a better solution. Are you playing in the charity game this weekend because you can make up for it then, right?

Please do. I make sure no one is getting married close to the date, just for sure. Okay, you’re a great friend, but don’t try to fake to me that you brought it to me. You have a list of other 523412 friends to be nitce too, don’t fool me. Yes, and that remindes me that we never got trashed together. What does that says about our friendship? And no, I’m not going to play! I aint going to the game either, not in a good place to public events like that. But you go and make me proud. Whatever that means. 

You know what would be the ultimate plot twist? Getting into trouble anyway and testing out whether or not they would bail you out—that’s a sign of a true friend. A truck for me to dance upon?! Come on, I’d be having you dance with me! Definitely betting on you to get nominated and win. Trip to Vegas, then?

You know what? I feel like I should really do that. If no one comes I know you will. Ah, I wuold love that. Can you promise that when everything fail I’ll have a spot on your dancing team? Honey, thank you. Really. It means a lot. YEP, but first, one to NY. I’ll do my best to be outside on the Grammy Carpet to see you.

Aubrey: Do you really think I'd be texting you if I were? No, there's no sexing. You can come over. We can order pizza and drink wine. Maybe talk shit.

Aubrey: Same but I'm lazy.

Aubrey: I guess we should go shopping soon, though.

Shay: Oh yeah, right, I'm sorry.

Shay: I'll just come over then, let the door open - like you did on the first time we ever saw each other by the way.

Do you think that’s going to be a difficult challenge for me, Shay? Easy! I think being wasted is far worse than enduring a sugar rush, but okay. You’re on. The next party, we’re going to do this, okay? Why wouldn’t I? I wouldn’t lie to you. If it’s a sticker I owe you, it’s a sticker you’re going to get. Oh, please! Forward me that list, please and thank you. I may need the Blake things, too! As a gentle reminder of how I need to act like. Now, I have this grave need to keep you proud! I’m sure you’re fine. You can’t be any worse than Ryan. He’s the lost cause, here. Look into projects within Bayview. I’m positive you can, really, advance your career while staying in town. You didn’t! Trust me. 

You’re right. That’s not a even challenge, a drunk me woutl de sloppy and messy and a sugar high you would probably be behind me trying to fix everything. It’s not going to work. BUT - sugar high for both of us is probably the best fit. Can you imagine the both of us in a kitchen with too much energy? Forget the kitchen. The two of us doing anything at all would be funny. If i do foward that list would you not laugh of me? There’s a few embarassing things there. Okay, we will do this, but mainly cause I really wanna taste that grave now. I’ll, for sure! As soon as the LA thing gets a little less busy. Okay, I’ll trust you don that one.  

Hey! When Janel and I planned this party, we had no that it would be the day after the bachelor party. Not our fault, Shay! Oh, I figured you weren’t. There isn’t any other reason why you’d wear sunglasses inside unless you were hungover. I’m sorry! I went all out, I know! I couldn’t help myself. There’s so many recipes I ran into that I couldn’t make for this event. I had nobody stopping me either, so. I’m not at fault for this, either! You, so, didn’t beat me, at all, Shay! I kicked your ass. Fair and square.

No, nope, I won’t aceppt it . You guys just made a party where the main player was down, it’s like -- not cool. Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Did I looked like a bitch? Like a high school bitch? It wasn’t my intention I swear. All I did was sti in the corner with glasses, drinking water in a straw and eat all the sugar I could. Next time you’re planning something, please call me? I won’t stop you from making amazing food, but I’ll taste everything before anyone does.  Of course you won, I was dead inside. I didn’t even played anything. I swear, next time, you and me all the way down. 

That was not what I said. I wa sin Vegas yes, but I was a bit scared that i would end doing what i shouldn’t like drinking or anything so I was just playing games and making money as the awesome gambling man I am (it’s a joke). How did you ended enjoying that?

It’s fine old man, let’s move on. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! You’re in fucking Vegas? And you left me alone like that? I feel really betrayed right now. Yes, I was there, drunk and gambling. I almost lost a shoe Tom, a shoe! You could have helped. Ugh, I kinda hate you right now.

That sounds like a fun kind of drunk anyways so you are ood. what are your plans for the week now, though?

It was, it was the fun kind of drunk. Not fun next days, but yeah. Well, I have to keep my LA game strong, so I’ll be there for the weekend - then it’s just working. How about you?

Aubrey: I miss you too!

Aubrey: I don't even know what my next event is but you know you can always come along.

Aubrey: Well, y'know, you Canadians are the best kind of people anyway.

Shay: Are you sexing Chris or can I come over and sleep?

Shay: Also I need to buy the fucking dress.

So I was in the grocery store the other day grabbing some alcohol, as twenty-seven year olds do, and here comes the most stereotypical granny on planet earth. Short white curls and all. She starts pointing out different drinks that she thinks are really good, which struck me as weird as fuck because who knew old people drank? This went on for so long that I finally picked up a pack of her favorite and waved goodbye to the alcohol wizard and was on my way. Long story short, Granny has bad taste and I have an entire pack of nasty alcohol. Free booze at my place. But only until the twelve pack is gone. Then you have to get your own shit.

I can’t believe you met the alcohol wizard and did not took advantage of that. I’m sure you just don’t have a good taste or that you heard it wrong, no way a good granny comes your way to give you tips on drinks and just don’t like it. Maybe you’re too soft? I don’t know. What is the nasty alcohol anyway? Are we talking about beers or---? Oh, how nice. I am not sharing my good wine with that offer. 

The Mother of Boxes has returned, and she’s better and blonder than ever! Anakin’s here, too, for those of you that know him, and he’s all big now! Finally growing into his wolf paws. I have a lot of catching up to do and probably a lot of apologies to make, but Thrones doesn’t start up until next year, so you guys should have me back for a grand chunk of time! For those of you that don’t know me, though, I’m Emilia. It’s good to be back. What have I missed?

Welcome back Emilia! I must say, short blonde looks amazing on you, really! I could never pull that color. I almost don’t pull dark blonde, I can’t even image your shade. You have missed a lot but at this point it’s just best that we forget all and start again. Maybe you getting here is our chance to redo our life. It would be magical and much needed. How about you? Ready for the new year?

Aubrey: That's part of my charm. I bring good things but also bad things. There's no in-between.

Aubrey: It was so much fun. A lot of snow which I'm so fucking sick of but a lot of fun. I should've made you tag along with me.

Aubrey: Look at you being all nice. You're great. And I'd probably punch anyone who disagrees in the face.

Shay: That's why you're awesome.

Shay: God I miss you.

Shay: Take me to your next event. I'm right now enjoying the fact that everyone that I bet on SAG won.

Oh, I watched and laughed the entire time. The guy was probably more drunk than I was and that’s saying something. And I already made my peace with going to hell anyway, so I’m good. 

That was not good man. I hope someone does the same to you someday. I mean, I did saw you cross your legs one or two times while we were trying to change games. I’m sure you will make hell a fun time, though.