Buttersketch

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

cant believe i have to pick another person to outlive already

Hey everyone, looks like the “cat summoned for jury duty” was ai generated - even has the ai symbol at the top. Thanks for the heads up, @cannot-all-throw-inkpots . My apologies- I did not realize when I shared it.

Aww dangit. Guess that makes sense, but it was so believable because I can 100% see that kind of goofup happening

Some positive news: There really WAS a cat summoned for jury duty back in 2010. Turns out the error was quickly corrected and the cat did NOT actually have to travel to the courthouse. But at least we can enjoy the fact that a papereork glitch did once try to give a cat jury duty XD

girl unhinge ur jaw

UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

This is why Tumblr is good.

I immediately scrolled to the blue jay to decide whether or not I wanted to read the rest of the post. Once I realized that OP got that right, I went back and read the rest. 10/10 OP.

I read this to my dad who sits on his porch and watches the birds and his only note is that he has seen multiple male cardinals attempt to fight their reflections to the death and should have a higher rating.

Fucking Schrödinger's Senator

Future Generations will never understand this timeline

I don't understand this timeline, and I live in it now.

Im weighing in on the discourse. We need to start putting sea monsters on maps again.

"God never gives you more than you can handle" is survivorship bias. People who got more than they could handle are dead.

Oh, dear. I can't reblog that fast enough.

there’s a dedicated ashandpikachuspotter account somewhere on some social media. You tag a photo or search for a term and boom, there’s pics of this guy. this dude. this man. with his pikachu. and it’s thousands of strangers from across the globe coming on line to talk about some stranger that they met briefly and then never saw again. they’ve compiled their stories and their approximate locations and mapped his journey from continent to continent, a long snaking pathway that spans decades and thousands of miles. He’s apparently one of those Kanto kids that the government let just drop out of school. Its working out very well for him. 

Thats so funny, to imagine him as a pokeweb criptid type character a la the florida man

Pokemon Heritage Post

the ad copy says it can be used on camels. imagine someone with a camel who is struggling with camel behavior problems seeing this and thinking "hot damn, the solution to my camel misbehavior problems is CERTAINLY this dog exorcism potion"

the man who owns and runs the thai restaurant in my town knows me by name. he is one of the kindest and most thoughtful men i know. i started ordering from his place back in january, which was when i got my fibromyalgia diagnosis. back then i was using a walker, had limited mobility in my entire body but especially my hands, and was very visibly in pain. i always ordered the same thing: yellow curry with no meat, potatoes and carrots only (i have texture and other dietary issues). he always made it a point to make sure i could get out the door and carry the food safely. he had his workers package the food so that it was easier for me to open. as i kept coming back and i told him a little bit about my health status, he would always encourage me to keep going. he told me about how the spices he used were good for inflammation and began to edit the recipe just for me so that spices that were even better for fighting inflammation were used. he’d give me extra portions and despite the fact that i would tip every time, i realized later that he never charged my card for them. as time went on and my condition began to get better, especially with the help of a physical therapist, he would make encouraging remarks and tell me how happy he was for me. the day i came in without my walker, he practically jumped for joy, and despite my insistence, he gave me my meal for free that day. i continue to make progress with my conditions and i continue to go to the thai place. this man who does not know me personally and who i hardly know anything about is one of my favorite people. it’s interactions with humans like these that make loving life easier. and his curry really does help my chronic condition. it’s comfort food taken to the next level.

This is what I think about when people ask what the meaning of life is

You should be starting a recipe book. I don't give a shit if you're only 20-years-old. The modern web is rotting away bit by bit before our very eyes. You have no idea when that indie mom blog is going down or when Pinterest will remove that recipe. Copy it down in a notebook, physically or digitally. Save it somewhere only you can remove it. Trust me, looking for a recipe only to find out it's been wiped off the internet is so fucking sad. I've learned my lesson one too many times.

adding on to this: there's also a rampant gentrification problem with online recipes where a lot of the people posting them are Influencers(tm) or beigehouse suburban moms, so they end up having all the flavor and spices removed, get stuffed with unnecessary luxury ingredients to seem more "bougie", or omit important steps. it's frustrating being unable to find a basic recipe that leaves the modifications up to you without adding a velveeta brick or insisting that you absolutely NEED Brutchard's Artisan Truffle Butter.

May I add, if you’re not one for writing, shove it in one of those flexible files. I have one, originally for magazine clippings. Now using it for this! Divide how you want(Letters or catagories for example)