Its Time To Dream

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

This is really beautiful!!!

When websites go "oh actually you have to use our app to view things on mobile now :)" evil. I will simply not do the thing now. Fuck your app.

Not to be confused with when you open a link in the Tumblr app, that then takes you to a Tumblr page and tells you to download the app you're already using.

just saw a “only one bed” fic with the major character death warning

#i guess that’s one way to solve that problem

“This bed ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

fights I would pay to see: sigmund “everyone is attracted to someone” freud vs John “sexual desire is evil and cereal can and will fix it” Kellogg

so mad that our takeaway from the mask thing hasn't been "wait, so we could have been getting like 80% fewer colds and viruses this entire time?"

We really just accepted that "yeah, every several months we just feel like shit and do nothing but lay in bed for a week while so much snot pours out of our face holes that we have to keep 27 wads of tissue within arm's reach" even though the solution was not only simple and easy but also offered infinite possibilities for fashionable accessorizing. I hate it here

Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

MAGNIFICENT

Alright, but what if my mom on her third marriage found a decent man, but my mother herself is shitty

"my stepdad's wife"

hey man sorry im late. yeah i gave a mouse a cookie. you know how it is

Having the hiccups is how it feels to be poisoned in a video game

i think its fine for straight actors to play gay characters but if they do it they have to actually get into it and give us good convincing kisses. if elliot page can suck passionate face with michael cera in 2007 u can kiss another man like u fucking mean it for 5 seconds

if you’re not embodying heath ledger almost breaking jake gyllenhaal’s nose making out with him against a wall then what are you even doing

you get it

What if when we were born we were each assigned a Wikipedia page like a social security number would that be fucked up or what

do you mean a wikipedia page about us? or do you mean some baby is arbitrarily given the rights and responsibilities to update the paramecium article?

ok I did mean a Wikipedia page about us. But keep talking I like where you’re headed

What's your government-assigned Wikipedia page? (No rerolls. I am in charge of "1929 in Wales" now. Not a great year, some bad floods in November.)

Golden Girls was more progressive decades ago than half of America now.

“Why do people like a character who’s committed war crimes but hate this other character just because they’re annoying” because it’s fiction Susan, and being annoying in fiction is a greater sin than being a supervillain, because it won’t make me want to read about them. It isn’t difficult to understand

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” (Oscar Wilde)

The war crimes are fictional but my annoyance is real.

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!