Bad, Rad

I often see the suggestion that “lesbians/gay men should analyze their aversion to penises/vaginas”. Now, I am a straight woman (and conveniently never told to analyze that) so maybe this is different for gay people. But here is my experience with attraction to men.

I do not have an aversion to vaginas. I am not repulsed by them, I do not recoil from female bodies. I have one myself after all, so they don’t disgust me. But I also have no interest in them. My attraction to mens bodies is active, whereas my feelings toward womens bodies are neutral.

I often find women beautiful. But in the same way that I find sunsets, or flowers, or exotic birds beautiful. I don’t mean to compare women to objects or animals, but my point is many things in life are aesthetically pleasing. And without having to explain that women are, of course, worth more than their beauty, there is no denying the fact that some women are beautiful, and I can recognize that.

With men, however, it is different. When I see a man that I feel attraction towards, it doesn’t feel like just looking at something beautiful. I want to engage with men I find attractive, romantically and sexually. I WANT to. It’s not about what I could realistically tolerate. I actually have sexual urges when it comes to men.

I could, for example, probably tolerate sex with a woman. The key word is tolerate. I can’t say for sure that it would traumatize me. But WHY should I? What benefit would I have in doing something that doesn’t interest me, doesn’t exite me and doesn’t give me any sort of valuable, life saving resource? What would be the point? If I neither want it nor need it, why should I have it? If neither me nor anyone else will be hurt by it, why? Tell me why I should examine, analyse and expand something that really, truly, does not matter to anyone but myself.

Now, like I mentioned, I am a heterosexual woman. I have never been specifically  asked to analyse why I don’t feel attraction to the same sex outside of vauge posts that go “it is wrong to only be interested in one kind of genitals” (which technically applies to me as well, but we all know they mean gay people) but I see it all the time with mostly lesbians.

They are asked, nay, ordered, to think about why they love women only. They are told they can overcome their aversion to penis with therapy and love. And here is the part where I want to tread carefully, as I would never dream of trying to speak for lesbian women.

Many lesbian friends in real life and mutuals on tumblr say they hate dick. They find it disgusting, revolting, they wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pole. I believe them. Who am I to tell them what they think about the opposite sex. But what it all comes down to for me is this:

If there is a lesbian, or a few, who, like me, have no aversion to any specific genitals. They are neutral. Penis doesn’t interest them, but doesn’t offend them either. But what she is is attracted to female bodies, including vaginas. There is nothing wrong with that. But according to genderists, everything is wrong with that. Women need reasons why they DON’T want men. No one cares that what they DO want, is women.

This is where Trans Rights Activism becomes so sinister to me. By pushing this rhetoric that lesbians should learn to take dick (but never trans lesbians) they prove that they don’t think womens attraction is real. They think women wanting to have sex with women is because they don’t want to have sex with men. It’s like they see it a some sort of spiteful act against them, when in reality, men never enter the picture. Ask yourself, if a man has sex with a woman, is it to spite other men? He hates men and wants some sort of revenge on them? No. A man is allowed attraction to women. He doesn’t need a reason for NOT wanting to have sex with men. We understand that he WANTS. But women don’t want. Women are for men to want. They don’t need desires of their own.

With this mindset it’s not hard to understand why straight male people are offended and confused by female homosexuality. She doesn’t just stop at not having sex with men, she actively sleeps with other women, who also do not stop at just ignoring men. Since women have no desire of their own in their mind, it must have something to do with men, right?

You may ask yourself what this has to do with Trans Rights Activism, so lend me your ear: By telling lesbians they can learn to tolerate dick, you are telling them that what they want does not matter. You focus on them overcoming what they don’t want, and you never give them the option of having desire.

Lesbians WANT women. Weather or not they’re disgusted by male bodies doesn’t matter. It isn’t about if they have trauma or any other “excuse” to avoid male genitals, it’s about what they want. I wouldn’t have sex with a woman. Not because I hate them, or find them disgusting, or ugly, or repulsive. I just don’t want to. No one questions that. So why aren’t lesbians (and many times gay men) given that freedom? The freedom to desire, without it having to do with hate for anything else.

A young child, using words she learned purely by mimicking the way others speak: I want to be a mommy when I grow up.

like I’m mentally ill, it severly impacts my ability to function and be social and shit, and I would never want to date a person who is secretly repulsed by mentally ill people but dates them anyway bc it’s the “woke” thing to do

are the idiots who advocate for this type of behaviour even AWARE of what they’re spreading??? at best it’s setting up marginalized people for inevitable heartbreak and at worst it’s outright endangering them bysetting them up with people who hate them???

like srsly don’t ever settle for someone you can’t deal with just bc your social circle consideres it “regressive”  to reject them. leading them on like that is unfair and damaging to them and won’t satisfy you in the long run either.

Things that ARE genital fetishes:

-making up sexualities that are “inclusive” of or surround intersex-ordered people as if they aren’t phenotypically one sex or the other

-obsessing over the false claim that biological sex is a spectrum because certain intersex disorders result in atypical genitalia for the person’s sex, believing that intersex-disordered people have Freaky New Fun Junk

-actually believing in “both sets of genitals” hermaphroditism and thinking that intersex-disordered people can be like that or that there has ever been someone like that / proudly proclaiming with a sense of moral superiority that “some people are both” in relation to people suffering from intersex disorders because you believe they have both sets of reproductive systems or a mix of the two

-thinking that intersex-disordered people are or can be like like futa/trap porn

-wanting to “transition to intersex”

-making intersex OCs and headcanons that circle around the cosmetic sex trait altering of intersex disorders for sparkle funsies and never about the medical hell of living with an intersex disorder, because you want a character that is “neither/both male and/or female” because of what’s in their pants

-ignoring that intersex disorders are dangerous genetic mutations resulting in lifelong medical needs and instead focusing on the alterations caused to genitals and secondary sex characteristics

T his year, 266,000 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed, as estimated by the American Cancer Society, and more than 100,000 women will undergo a mastectomy to treat or prevent cancer. Although women traditionally have chosen to reconstruct their breasts—either through implants or a breast formed from excess skin and tissue—now more women than ever are feeling empowered to go flat.

Roughly 25 percent of double-mastectomy patients and 50 percent of single-mastectomy patients opt out of reconstruction, according to a studypublished in the Journal of Clinical Oncology. “Many women do it for comfort, others are athletes, and many women simply don’t want implants—they want to stay as simple and true to nature as possible,” says Patricia Clark, M.D., a breast cancer surgeon in Scottsdale, Arizona.

But while women have begun to reject reconstruction, the only thing doctors seem to be rejecting is their patients’ wishes.

“In my research I’ve found that many women are completely surprised at the outcomes when they come out of surgery,” says Gayle Sulik, Ph.D., founder of the Breast Cancer Consortium and author of Pink Ribbon Blues: How Breast Cancer Culture Undermines Women’s Health.

Not only have doctors reportedly urged patients to reconstruct without even discussing the option of going flat, some women say that they’ve woken up to find that their surgeon left them with extra skin in case they change their minds and want to build a breast later (commonly referred to as a “skin-sparing mastectomy”). If confronted post-surgery, doctors often lean on the excuse that they had to it for medical reasons, such as making sure the patient has proper range of motion.