Romeo's Sins

soliloquy by an immortal cave painter.

My friend, are you in for a treat! The lake sturgeon, which is the sturgeon found in the Great Lakes, can grow to be two meters long and weigh 90 kilograms! It is the biggest fish found in the Great Lakes!!

But, see, the lake sturgeon isn’t the biggest sturgeon species. That would be the beluga sturgeon, which regularly grew to be four to six meters long before overfishing took a toll on their populations. Belugas are a lot younger on average nowadays — these fish can live to be over 100 years old — and seldom exceed three meters, but I mean, even that isn’t anything to scoff at. The very biggest beluga sturgeon ever caught was a jawdropping 7.2 meters long, and weighed 1 571 kilograms!! Other beluga sturgeons of such sizes have been caught too, and some unverified sources say that there has even been belugas that exceed 10 meters! They are the biggest freshwater fish in the world, and are up there among the biggest bony fishes in the world. That’s so big, it’s hard to even grasp or imagine. Seeing pictures of sturgeons puts it in a better perspective, I think. Here is a 800 kilogram sturgeon, a bit more than half of what the biggest sturgeon weighed:

Like, look at that. You see this?? That’s so fucking insane!!! Sturgeons never cease to amaze me with how… impossible they seem. These fish are like aquatic dragons or prehistoric beasts from days long gone, and in a way they are the latter! Sturgeons have been around as a group for over 160 million years, so they did indeed live in the age of the dinosaurs. Whenever I see pictures like this I can only wonder what the humans who first saw big sturgeons must’ve thought. I know what sturgeons are but I still have trouble grasping their gargantuan sizes, imagine seeing the dark form of a giant in the water and not having the faintest idea of what it is, or even that it's entirely harmless to humans.

Other sturgeon species are also very really big! The lesser-known kaluga isn’t that far behind at a maximum length of 5.6 meters and maximum weight of about a ton. Several white sturgeon that have exceeded three meters and even just shy of four meters and weighed over 400 kilograms have been caught, and the biggest, but unverified white sturgeon even caught was around six meters long and weighed 900 kilograms. The critically endangered Chinese sturgeon maxes out around five meters and 600 kilograms. All this to say, these old fishes are massive!!!

Anastasia Trusova — “Through The Walls”, 2020

The businessman that comes in every week who seemed grouchy at first now smiles and waves when I remember his name, and explains he's just finished a long drive, and he doesn't MEAN to come off as rude, he's just tired.

The mother and daughter who visit the hotel each summer and tell me they've been coming here for years, and each time they visit they go to the pier and save up their tickets for the big ticket items. One day they come through the doors with the biggest grins, the older lady in the wheelchair proudly waving a huge stuffed toy tiger she's "had her eye on for years".

The young man with his girlfriend who looks nervous as he approaches reception, and stumbles over his words, his hands shaking as he signs the paperwork to check in. I've spent the last two weeks on the phone with him organising this; we've set up the bedroom with balloons and petals and decorations, and he's going to propose as soon as they get to the room.

The woman who I've not seen before who asks if I'm local, and tells me she grew up here, and had recently found herself drawn back. We talk about the sounds of seagulls, and the metal clanging of masts down at the harbour, and how the sounds that fade into the background are the ones you miss most when you leave. She's writing a book and promises to send me a copy when she's done.

The regular who goes out of her way to buy us all the strangest biscuits she can find at the tourist shops. We try them together, pulling faces at the ones that just don't work.

The thirty something woman who immediately sees a kinship in me and whispers to me that she has been here before, but under a name she no longer uses, and we celebrate the freedom she feels.

The support group that comes in for coffee each week and sit together filling the foyer with laughter.

Delicious horse meat, milord?