idk

So my fiance is obsessed with duendes. Goblins. Gnomes. Whatever you choose to call them.

My girlfriend and I have a lot of similarities, sometimes things we randomly discover in the moment, sometimes things that we both have loved for ages, though separately. For example:

We love everything about a good storm rolling in, and have sat on our balcony to enjoy the sights, sounds, smells, and senses of them.

We both prefer to sleep with the bedroom door closed, and any closet doors closed, too.

We both love the song "Handlebars" by Flobots, and were both equally pleased to learn that we both knew almost all the lyrics.

Ancient Egyptian and Ancient Greek mythology are interests we both share, and we've even discussed planning a trip to Cairo.

We sleep on the same side of the bed. While sometimes we alternate when we're both sleeping in it, if it's just our self in the bed we choose the same side as our preference.

Our first (of many) times being silly together, we noticed that we tend to make the same silly noises.

There are many, many other things that we have in common, and I have to say I love each and every one of them. I even love our differences - it makes all of our similar interests that much more amazing while giving us both the chance to learn from each other.

Entering my apartment at the end of the day brings a feeling that I’ve never felt before.  No, not while living under my parents’ roof.  Not while staying in the back half of a beauty salon, a small, single-person apartment.  Not during 6 years of marriage.  Coming home during those times felt like I was always entering another person’s space.  My own hand had little to do with the decor, layout, etc. of each room.

Now, I come home to the apartment I and my girlfriend live in.  Walking in, there are little memories everywhere.  On the wall, above a bookcase I won for her at auction when we were just friends, hangs a Star Wars themed Happy Birthday banner from her 25th birthday party.  Surrounding our living room are other wall ornaments - posters from Star Wars, 5 Nights at Freddy’s, Kingdom Hearts, Death Note.  We both love Pokemon, so as a gift I found an original 150 Pokemon poster dated from the 90′s.  A map of Middle Earth dominates the other wall - it was supposed to be a beach towel, but the material felt like a bed sheet sprayed with too much starch so instead, it’s a hanging.

The furniture...most of it has a memory.  Other than the aforementioned bookcase, we also have a coffee table and table desk that are extremely special to me.  The story behind those - on our way back from one of my friends’ weddings, my girlfriend held my hand and told me that she felt like one day that could be us.  Pulling into the parking lot, we spotted a load of furniture some exiting resident had abandoned to the dumpster.  It was still in great condition, and is now in our living room.  

One piece in particular makes me proud.  She had been asking if we could get a sofa bed, a rather expensive piece of furniture no matter where you look.  After a month of searching to find this for her, a Facebook friend of mine posted the question:  Anyone wanna sofa bed?  He gave it to us for free.  I’ll never forget how excited we were when we figured out it fit exactly between our other couch and entertainment stand when the bed was pulled out.  We’ve since enjoyed many movie-and-snack nights, curled up on the sofa bed, legs or arms - or both! - intertwined.  

While the other rooms in our apartment have little memories here or there, we spend the majority of our time together in this living room.  We’re on different shifts - I work first, she works third - so while at least once a week we try to sleep in the same bed, more often than not we enjoy one another’s company in the living room.  Here, we game, we watch television and movies, we play board games, and best of all, we talk.  We plan.  We get excited.  We’ve fought, yes.  We’ve cried in this room.  But most of all, we’ve lived.

And that’s how I know.

Sure, this is our place.

After four days of spending time with family in Florida, my sweet, amazing woman returned home.

I can't describe the deep sense of love I had when I saw her. She was the most beautiful woman to ever leave a plane! I smiled when I saw her, this beautiful brunette looking around as the escalator led her to the baggage claim floor. It took her a moment to find me, but find me she did, giving me hugs and the biggest kiss!!

For a few awkward moments, I watched this woman that I had missed in my world, this incredible part of my life that has been missing. I wondered at my luck to have such an amazing person in my life. I do not deserve her - and yet, there she is.

A single 4 day trip brought perspective that the last few months had not. I could survive without her - but by God, I did not want to. My heart is hers, as are my thoughts and dreams. Having her home is the same as a sunset on the eve of storm season. She is the smile to my tears, the sky to my dirt, the only beautiful thing in a world most disgusting. With her comes the rain to the drought, the sun to the monsoon, the candle in the cavern.

While I wax poetic, she showers, relaxing muscles tight with stress and aggravation.

While she relaxes, I lie on the bed, comfortable in the knowledge that she will soon join me.

The moment for indecision, for fear, has passed.

I will love her with my whole heart until she gives me reason not to.

I will trust her with secrets bound by doors and walls build long ago.

It's the first time since I moved in that we'll be apart for more than a few hours. She's gone to visit family in Florida, and I'm home for 4 days alone with the dog and cat.

I missed her as soon as she shut the door.

And I realized that, holy shit, I love this woman and want to stay with her forever.

We sat with a painted tin tub between us, pouring candy and toys into it while intermittently admiring the costumes of the kids running up to us with bags and buckets in hand.

Every now and then, I'd glance over at her and notice how she was watching me interact with the kids.

Other times, I'd watch her, and think about how beautiful and amazing she is, how happy I was to share Halloween with her.

I want to share my life with her.

I want to dress our kids up and take them trick or treating.

I want to give her all the love she deserves, all the love she gives to me.

Absolutely. Adore. Her.

So I have some real life friends and I love them but I also need people to talk to.

I'd love to make some friends through Tumblr :)

Um about me...

I'm gay. Yay lesbians! I'm in love with someone and happy and all that but I'd love to have gay or lesbian friends to talk about things with.

I have no kids though I do want them, but right now I have a cat and a dog.

I love shows like Doctor Who, Stranger Things, Parks n Rec, The Office, Futurama, Rick and Morty.

I like musicals, singing in my car, photography, writing, Nightmare Before Christmas, Harry Potter, Deathnote, Ouran High School Host Club, psychology, and philosophical discussions.

"Size doesn't matter to a lesbian, does it?"