Supergirl vs Minions and Monsters Box Office Rant
One of the more interesting things in this digital age and the rise of social media is the continuation of sensationalists and sensationalism. What was thought to be a tool for connecting more to the world has instead become a tool for disinformation and squabbling about fairly innocuous things made serious and a way to fan the flames of the ever ongoing “culture war”. Much like the tabloids and yellow journalism since the dawn of mass communication, the printing press, the sensationalist circuit has continued to grow in the form of radio hosts like Rush Limbaugh, shock jocks like Howard Stern, and daytime talk shows like Jerry Springer to 24 Hour News cycles such as Fox News to podcasts such as the Joe Rogan Experience.
All of these led to the rise of the Youtuber, content creators uploading videos for ad revenue and monetizing celebrity gossip, studio interference and box office reports and by doing so has created one of the most fascinating made up fights one can witness.
Austin Powers: “Oh, no! I’ve gone cross-eyed!”
I’m talking about Youtubers taking otherwise family friendly films and pitting them against one another like the kal-if-fee in Star Trek.
Before we dive in, let’s roll back the clock to 2020.
The otherwise mixed bag and lopsided DC Cinematic Universe was struggling to garner an audience after Justice League failed to capture audiences but somehow Aquaman and Wonder Woman became box office hits and Shazam received good reviews from critics. Thus, to distance themselves from the disastrous Suicide Squad, a Birds of Prey film was announced and panned day and night by social media, as it depicted a liberated Harley Quinn as a feminist power anthem.
Meanwhile, after a disastrous teaser trailer was shown and panned, the live-action Sonic movie took its widely mocked initial design through months of re-animation and improved it.
So when Birds of Prey underperformed its opening weekend on February 7th, 2020 and Sonic the Hedgehog became a financial hit and crowd pleaser on February 14th, 2020, Youtubers had their hook.
“Gamers win with Sonic the Hedgehog while Feminists lose with Birds of Prey.”
It was sensationalist clickbait but it worked; the narrative had been set. Birds of Prey made the male fans angry while Sonic the Hedgehog made the male fans happy. Thus, it was seen as a victory in the Gender war and Culture War.
This would happen again in 2022.
Post-COVID, movie theaters and movie studios were freaked out about financial losses during the pandemic and after the disastrous launch and cancellation of Disney Plus Premier Access program (which resulted in a very upset Scarlett Johansson suing Disney for lost residuals from Black Widow), Disney was looking for another financial wind and released Lightyear, a Toy Story spin-off film starring the “real” Buzz Lightyear (voiced by Chris Evans) thus giving an origin story to the Toy.
However, said film would face massive controversy as Disney would get into a very public dispute with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis about the “Don’t Say Gay” bill and confirmed rumors that Lightyear was going to show a same-sex kiss between two mothers. Youtubers took the headline and ran with it.
“Disney and Pixar trying to groom LGBTQ kids with Lightyear!”
Lightyear lagged in the box office. Given a high $200 Million Production Budget and opening soft with a $50 Million Domestic and unable to get better luck overseas (Remember: Same sex relationships are pretty much banned in a lot of lucrative overseas markets such as the Middle Kingdom of China), Lightyear was a financial flop.
But that wasn’t enough for the Youtubers. They wanted more. It wasn’t enough for Woke Disney and Pixar to be humiliated. They wanted a David bests Goliath story. They wanted John Henry to defeat the Machine. They wanted an Underdog to rise victorious against the Woke corporation. But who? What film could possibly stand up and rise up against the family film juggernaut known as the Walt Disney corporation?
Enter the Illumination Minions.
Making their debut in 2010 with Despicable Me, the short yellow monstrosities speaking a mixture of Spanish and wearing goggles with blue overhauls became the modern day Looney Tunes, mixing their slapstick, fart jokes and karaoke covers of popular songs managed to become a pop culture mainstay and a big hit for kids and overseas markets.
So when the financially successful Minions The Rise of Gru hit Fourth of July Weekend and made the same amount of money in DAYS what it took Weeks for Lightyear to barely scrape by, the narrative by Youtubers had been set.
“BASED Minions destroy WOKE Lightyear!”
The Youtubers and Grifters found their champions: slapstick heavy farting Yellow Minions got box office gold where Disney Pixar LGBTQ representation failed.
Audiences love counternarratives and counterprogramming and now the Minions were based.
And now we come to the Present.
With Toy Story 5 focusing heavily on female Sheriff Jessie (which Youtubers such as box office analyst Valliant Renegade say was deliberate to cash in Inside Out 2’s financial success) and reports of DC’s Feminist Supergirl receiving mixed word of mouth from early impressions on Social Media as well as tracking softly box office wise, the Illumination Minions are poised to dominate yet again this coming 4th of July weekend with Minions and Monsters, a film showing the Minions pay homage to classic Hollywood black and white films.
I can already see the headlines now
“BASED Minions laugh at FEMINIST Supergirl!”
“Chuds win as Minions DESTROY Girlboss Toy Story 5!”
“Audiences EMBRACE TRADITION AND MASCULINITY WHILE REJECTING MODERNITY by watching Minions as Supergirl FLOPS!”
Because when I think of Traditional Masculinity, my mind immediately thinks of Villain turned Girldad Gru, Bob the crossdressing Minion and Scarlett Overkill, the first female Supervillain.
The Minions themselves ARE NOT a Rightwing, conservative homage to 1950s America as many online (myself included) paint them to be; they’re little yellow farting gibberish speaking mascots that sell toys and appeal to overseas audiences being produced cheaper than Disney. (Since Illumination does their animation overseas and doesn’t have to worry about pesky expenses like Worker’s Unions or Guilds). This isn’t Citizen Vigilante or Young Washington or In the Grey. It’s literally Minions doing funny things for 90 minutes.
But, intentions or not, the internet LOVES proxy wars.
So when Supergirl is tracking softly and the media obsesses over Milly Alcock’s comments online, Youtubers love to act like it’s a major accomplishment when the Minions can and will double, if not triple the box office take Supergirl is lucky to make. (What, you don’t think little girls and families want to see a semi-alcoholic and disheveled Kara overcome her trauma of seeing Krypton destroyed by going on an adventure with Lobo? How small-minded of you!)
And Youtubers already have the narrative set: Toy Story 5 and Supergirl are for the girls while Minions are for the boys. (Where do you think the Tiktok trend of the Gentleminions came from?)
Just by being in proximity to the other films, Youtubers have their framing and have co-opted the success.
Minions is Anti-feminist.
Minions is anti-Girlbrand.
Minions is Anti-Supergirl.
Minions is anti-Moana live action remake.
And whatever the truth about Minions and Monsters will be, Youtubers will jump on the narrative and get the algorithm to boost their videos because it’s what sells, truth be damned.
So be prepared to say Hello (or in Minionese “Bello!”) to an all too familiar scenario.
Time is a flat circle and I hate reruns.
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