Sleep schedule of a non-traumatized person: 10 ish pm go to sleep, 6-7 am wake up.
Me, a trauma survivor trying to sleep: 10pm-12am numb myself with some kind of media, avoid going to sleep because this is the only time I'm completely free, 12am-2am have an emotional crisis, cry for hours, curse my abusers, replaying memories until they don't feel real, having flashbacks to trauma, regressing back into the childhood I lost, non-stop grief and anger, 2-3am begging for sleep to take over, trying to relax but every cell in my body is clenching down to my bones, begging for sleep again, wishing someone would knock me unconscious so I can sleep, make it stop it's too much!! 3am finally sleep takes over, wakes up at 5am with a pounding heart, startled by any small noise, morning rolls around and I feel dead.
