gonna grow you a place safer than this

@broke-bruce-wayne we should try this

Mommy's going to take you out of the freezer and leave you in a room temperature environment, ok? Awww you're already dripping condensation... There's a puddle gathering at your base, my leaky little condensation slut.

can you put that on a coaster

No. I want her to see all her little circle stains on the table...

okay thats cute and all but this table was my grandmother's so i would really appreciate it if you could stop and actually consider other peoples belongings for 2 fucking seconds

But both Mommy and my little condensation slut gave our condensent so like I feel like I shouldn't have to ask for yours... I guess I could get like a new table or whatever but it's just not the same if it isn't mahogany.

okay red what the fuck do you mean "condesent"

I was not made for….*gestures broadly at the world*

i am a simple creature. every day i am sleepy

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

kind of feel bad because there’s a cardinal who visits frequently and i guess it’s molting time so. you know. but whenever he shows up to get nuts and i happen to notice him i just shout BALDDDDD. every single time

Imagine, if you will. Sex that feels good AND you want to have.

do you think pikmin are real friends or just work friends