حَرق قلبي

Q. An award you'd give yourself?

The worst thing you can be is demanding. Everyone will hate you. Be invisible. Ask for nothing.

No, actually the worst thing you can be is visibly upset and asking for help when we hurt you. Shut Up. Act Normal. You're Fine.

You have no right to express your feelings & if you ever do, you will be humiliated, shamed, and shunned. Get self control. You're pathetic if you can't shut down and shove all your feelings where we don't have to see.

You are not special and nothing important will ever happen to you. Any kind of throwing a fuss is you being dramatic/crazy. We will institutionalize you if you don't quiet down.

You will never survive without us. Not only you owe us for your life but you are helpless without us and always will be. Slight us and die.

You have to deserve to survive. Nobody wants you to even exist so earn your keep. Either in labour or letting us violate your boundaries or both. You exist to serve.

Nobody cares what you think. You can't trust your thoughts and shouldn't verbalize any of them.

There is something so selfish, spoiled, bad and fundamentally evil inside you, you have to be treated with cruelty continuously or you would become a terrible monster.

Any slight in your personality or behaviour is a reason to hurt you and it is always your fault. If you didn't want this you would have been a different person.

You are beyond help and not worth paying attention to. You are so defective you are lucky we're feeding you/giving you a roof over your head. Nobody else will be as kind.

You are intrinsically stupid and don't understand anything, and never will. Not even worth explaining things to you.

You always lack empathy and never think enough of how we are feeling/what we want. If you cared you would do what was wanted before we said anything.

We can do anything to you because we gave you life. Nothing is off limits.

Trajectory of your life is only there to make our lives easier. Anything you do that inconvenices us is an act of evil that needs to be destroyed and sabotaged.

Other people think the worst of you and find you a burden and a nuisance. Don't expect them to help or accept you. There is no place for you.

You being stubborn about something is a crime worth destroying you over.

We have the right to your unconditional love and forgiveness no matter what we do. If you try to withdraw this we will make you feel like the worst person to ever exist.

You get to make zero choices in a relationship. The second you want something that doesn't please the other person, you risk abandonment and/or revenge. This is how it should be.

You only ever get to analyze your own behaviour and try to do better. If you try to criticize anyone else, you'll be told to look at yourself all over again. You're not perfect.

You are only allowed the lowest, most degrading thoughts about yourself. If you develop any confidence we'll make you feel stupid for ever believing anything positive of yourself.

It's okay that you live your life in a suicidal state if it pleases us. Just never speak up on that because its inconvenient and we will ignore/taunt you if you say something.