Don't worry bro your ass is fat and everyone thinks the hand lotion in your guest bathroom smells nice

I can't help but be boring I'm so sorry

i pulled the sword from the stone but got shy and put it back. hope nobody minds 

What would happen if you got an email

i would check it

You sick fuck.

love it when people walk into the bathroom loud as fuck bumping into shit etc making hella noise then bust into the stall next to me and start pissing hard as hell. no time to waste we making this one sloppy

there’s something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. can we kiss

friendly reminder that moments like sitting in the sun, waking up well-rested, discovering a song that makes you feel your heart and laughing with someone will find you again. clouds will dissipate and the sun will sink and rise and the moon will be full and bright outside of your window, and life will stop feeling this heavy. in the meantime, we’ll try. sometimes that’ll feel like enough and sometimes it won’t, but that’s okay. you’re here and that’s an achievement and that’s good and it matters.

Stop unfollowing me I’ve been nothing but distant and incomprehensible to you all

The microbes inside me are pleased by my yogurt offering. I live another day.

i, personally , don’t like this but what can i do