I frequently pet sit for a friendâs husky, who is completely normal and unremarkable for her kind with one crucial exception.
(You didnât hear that from me: her owner thinks sheâs a genius, bless him.)
Anyway, my dog Tribble thinks Arya the husky is one of her very own adopted babies, so she stays with us fairly often. Reasons I have heard this dog dissolve into a screaming, wailing meltdown include:
I followed my buddy up a mildly steep hill and now sheâs gone and I canât figure out how to get down
That one cat wonât be friends with me even though all the others will
I hopped up on the sofa and the hardwood floor next to it is much more confusing than the laminate I have lived on since I was two months old and I donât know how to get down
Iâm mildly bored and my buddy yelled at me when I tried to bite her neck for the zillionth time
I want to play with that potted plant but you said I couldnât
Iâm overcome with joy because you took me on a walk to the hardware store
I want that biscuit but I forgot what sit means and now Iâm frustrated
I havenât seen you in two weeks and I forgot you werenât dead and Iâm overjoyed
You are not petting me enough
You are not petting me at all
I got lost four times in five minutes on the off leash trail and now you wonât let me off again for a while
Thereâs a brush and I need it
You made eye contact with me and didnât immediately drop everything to pet me
Sheâs a very good dog, and sheâs a sweet dog who is never offended by anything, but the screaming has singlehandedly ensued I will never, ever, ever own a husky. I like having functioning ears too much.