Rachel

😳 <- this emoji but without the blush or romantic connotation. im not blushing im staring you directly in your fucking eyes

I hurt my back pretty reasonably at work today and unfortunately I couldn’t stop laughing because my first thought was “workplace injury barbie”

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

remembering in my biology class last year when the teacher called someone a numbskull then said “sorry, I should be calling you guys ‘gumball’ ‘cause you’re all chewed up” then a guy said “I’m more like the bones in a grave, like it’s just over for me” & none of it made any sense

lasanyer

This is a baby asking this to other babies

honeymoon is an interesting term because an actual moon made of honey would imply space bees which is pretty horrifying

anyone know a doctor .. think i might have hep the tight is 😔

u know what i’d rather die

love it how cats dilate their pupils to indicate it’s time to be Fucking Stupid. wish i could do that