At a hotel, and completely forgot about french and I just see "gel de douche" and I'm like DOUCHE HAHAH then remember french and felt like an idiot
will byers stan first human second
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@buildingmycottage
At a hotel, and completely forgot about french and I just see "gel de douche" and I'm like DOUCHE HAHAH then remember french and felt like an idiot

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So because I grew up in the 2000s and 2010s, I remember being asked to debate gay marriage in my RMPS (Religious, Moral, and Philosophical Studies) class and it always seemed fucking weird to me being positioned next to topics like abortion or euthanasia because - like - there were arguments against or for that made logical sense to me as a pre-to-early teen even if I didn’t agree with them (pro choice, anti euthanasia (complicated feelings) btw) but gay marriage?
As a twelve year old:
Pro: “If we allow this two adults who love each other can have legal protections for their marriage” ok, great, yeah, don’t see why we’re even talking about this. Against: “But God said -“ why the fuck does he get a say? God also says I’d be condemned and going to hell/purgatory because I’m half-Catholic, half-Protestant all-unbaptised as a baby so why are we taking this invisible man’s view on this?
Anyway, I thought it was stupid then and I think it’s stupid now.
(Also we did Buddhism every single year. I’m not kidding, I swear every SINGLE year was Buddhism so I think I was more confident discussing that than Christianity by fourteen)
"𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝑴𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘" 𝒃𝒚 𝑯𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒂 (𝟏𝟖𝟑𝟗-𝟏𝟗𝟐𝟒)
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
june is over... goodbye pride month, hello disability pride month!!
let's all be disabled this month... together 🤝
if you're not disabled yet: no need to worry! i can help. come closer.

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ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself
I love this post so much my friend put it on my 30th birthday cake
i kinda love this response. just try reading my comment in a nicer voice and you'll feel better
why are gyms so scary. what does this machine do. well,, luckily there are 15 real fit ppl and one judgy teen group to bear witness as you try to figure it out in ur body that now feels like the floppiest wet-noodle-est worm body to ever exist on this earth. this one machine you thought you knew bc of ur old gym? completely different and unrecognizable in another, so u can’t even depend on familiar ones. free weights? boy, i bet ur form is in fact 100% wrong and someone’s gonna come and ”help you out” and stay and watch as you try it again and u actually cant do it the way they are helpfully advising you to bc ur back/knees/hips are weird and fucked up. maybe shoulder press isn’t even an exercise, maybe u accidentally made it up and everyone’s wondering what the actual fuck are you doing. or you’re doing it so weird and somewhere you actully weren’t meant to do it; that spot is usually for deadlifts actually and now someone’s pissed in the corner waiting for you to be done. or maybe you made some other sort of a gym social faux-pas you can’t even figure out; it’s so unsaid and unheard of but every real gym person knows it somehow. maybe someone had reserved that bench someway, or were using the weights. or maybe u’re just gonna find urself standing there in the middle of the gym with no fucking idea what to do and now it’s getting unnerving like why is that guy just standing there, it’s so clear you have no clue and it’s getting 1st and 2nd hand embarrassing. maybe you’ll turn the cheerful gym community into an old school style angry mob with pitchforks. have you thought about that. have you thought that you might die a thousand deaths at the gym
when I was in high school I had a literature teacher who had a policy of unlimited extra credit. All you had to do was read a book by a notable author (his discretion) and have a little chat with him after school to prove that you read it. No limits, no need for variety (one month I decided I really loved Kurt Vonnegut and just read everything of his I could get my hands on).
Yes, I was tearing through books constantly, and talking to this teacher at least weekly. Because even though I always loved reading as a kid, literature was always a very weak subject for me in terms of a teaching-to-standardized-test school setting (I just do awful on "what color were the curtains" type multiple choice questions. Those details don't stick in my memory THEY JUST DON'T). But that didn't matter for this class. I could just read my way out of any bad test score. I have always had fond memories of how I "fudged" my way through that class and "abused' the extra credit policy.
I was thinking about it again today, and only just now realized that he absolutely tricked me into being well-read, while my teenage self thought I was totally getting away with something. THAT MOTHERFUCKER. I hope he's doing well.

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This made me laugh out loud
Reblogging in honor of the first day of baseball season.
The pitcher that exploded the bird is a photographer now, this is his logo
ok I know everyone’s considered Ryland grace wearing an “I put the ace in space” t shirt but. have we considered the infinitely funnier option of putting this shirt on eva stratt
I had to draw this
@rosaeargentum
The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…
Based on a true story

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reblogs were off
all of the numbers that are divisible by 17 sound so absurd. 51? 68? 85? ridiculous. 102? absolutely not. and don't even get me started on 119
34 and 136 i can believe, but i feel like i shouldn’t. it’s 102 in a trench coat
did we just run out of posts to make
no, i haven't made a post about every number yet
I'm sorry to let you know that 100,000,001 (one hundred million and one) is divisible by 17 and because of that, so is every 16-digit number that is four digits repeated four times e.g. 1234123412341234