diafragma

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

They need to make a Steam Afterlife app where you can pick who'll get all your video games when you pass away. It should link to a chip in your heart that sends the signal to pass down your library to your next of kin or your fiercest homie as soon as you croak. It should also explode your beneficiary's chip if they don't play your favorite video games within 2 years.

i have a buddy who we all call "the nuance guy" which like. ok we dont all call him that. its just that sometimes some of us, and this is like a group of friends. or well most of us are friends, i guess some of us are acquaintances. but sometimes, like i said, not all the time, but maybe 40% of the time, this only happens on certain occasions, or i guess it doesnt happen per se but more just comes up. ok maybe it doesnt just come up but is brought up and

honestly i think people should describe women as "handsome" more often.

Reminds me of Jason Kander, former Missouri Secretary of State. When he went to the VA hospital to treat his PTSD, he told the nurse that Obama told him he should run for president, and she thought he was delusional.

Correction: It was worse. She asked him how long he's been hearing voices.

I think I'm gonna make this my go-to story. It's not the worst I've ever heard, which is an asset because people won't believe you if you tell them the actual bad stuff those people do. And it just perfectly sums up the casual arrogance everyone working in mental health seems to have. The way they treat you as inherently Lesser for being in their care.

If they can't even handle basic, easily verified shit like "I'm a lawyer" they are never going to believe you when you tell them that you know how to manage a condition you've been dealing with for decades better than they can or will.

are you freaking serious did they actually put steve in minecraft

in my delirious half-awake state i appear to have typed the wrong game

You can transition into bugs btw they let you

every time i want the 🤬 emoji i go into the search thing & start typing "fuck" & it takes me a solid second to remember they would not name it the Fuck Emoji

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance

grossed is such a weird way to describe how much a movie makes. how much did this movie yucky

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it