Yeehaw

I love visiting people who have some kind of pet reptile because they're always like "would you like to hold the reptile" and I'm like "of course I would" and then the rest of the conversation happens with me just holding a random reptile and the reptile Has No Feelings about the situation. They always just sit there, probably vaguely wishing to return to their heat lamp but clearly exuding an energy of This Might As Well Happen. and then I put it back in its enclosure and go home and the reptile very clearly has no strong feelings about the situation.

my dad was outside feeding the slugs cucumber slices earlier

he was like ‘thats the same one from last night!’ (he was feeding the slugs cucumber slices last night too) im like man you’ve been spending too much time with the neighbourhood slugs if you can tell them apart

Friendship comes in many forms. Don’t get in the way of a man and his friendly slug friends

you’re right sorry dad for my crimes

This made me laugh cus it’s actually really accurate. Like one time he called me downstairs to see the ‘cutest thing ever’ and it was three slugs of varying sizes eating cat food and he said ‘they are a family!! Just like us!!’