It takes nine goats to say the F-word

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

saw a youtube video with a date of 20 years ago and i thought "surely this is a glitch, youtube wasnt even around 20 years ago" and then i watched as my hands shriveled and fell to dust before my very eyes

hey so uh next year will be a decade of dobonhonkeros. how about that shit huh.

love the trope where an authoritative side character pointedly pretends not to help the hero they’re not supposed to be helping by saying shit like “well I can’t just let you wander around up to the THIRD FLOOR where you could just FIND THE THING YOU NEED in the FIRST ROOM ON THE LEFT. And under no circumstances should you USE THE KEY FROM UNDER THE MAT. I wish I could help you, but I CAN’T. Now excuse me, I need to take this phone call for the next 37 minutes EXACTLY.”

My doctor did that for me once. I had to get an expensive brain scan and she was like ‘do you smoke?’ and I was like ‘no’ and she was like “well that’s a pity because the government will pay for this expensive brain scan if you had been a smoker so - do you smoke?” 🤣🤣🤣 I was like ‘yes’ and she’s like ‘oh wow then this scan will be free’

woahhhh a floor beef clover it must be my yucky day

cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn

skillet issue

"less is more" is a lie perpetuated by big small to sell more less

you look like the kinda girl who'd open up ms paint back in the day select the spray paint tool and click and hold to watch it slowly turn into a perfect circle

What are you reading rn, why are you reading it, and what format are you reading it in (physical book, ereader, on your phone etc)