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one of my single greatest flaws as a human being is that i still think using 4chan greentext to narrate events is extremely funny

lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.

“Kill me. Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won.” -fucking Warrior Cats

We live in a socie-

Wait wait you forgot the mushroom post “you can’t kill me in a way that matters” +the following uhhhh 1 sec

@imfunnydamit

everyone wonders why trees are so big, but I know.

OK, I can tell you, but the world will never be the same

their bigness comes chiefly from their height and their girth, which are both enormous. if you look at small things you will tend to find that they are very low in height, width, etc. (you get the picture). trees, however, have a very tall height and wide girth, which makes them extremely large

pat shell gently and receive slime

11/10 product design

hi, quick question: what the entire fuck?

do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man

you’re* it’s* Btw. I am a man.

oooooooooooooh my gooooooooooooooooooooooood ooooooooh my god. oh my god. ooooooooooh. my god oh my god

do you understand how great this scene is it doesn’t even need editing

I can’t tell if that’s Hal Jordan or Guy Gardner so I don’t know if he deserves it or really, REALLY deserves it.

man goes ham must see

wait this is the wrong ask 

No you got it