675

theyre called broad shoulders because theyre for women

Every time I get lower back pain at work I think about that scene from the incredibles where Mr. Incredible is being stretched by the giant robot and his back clicks in juuuust the right way and he laughs triumphantly and proceeds to tear the robot to pieces

why don’t you read a poem about the sunrise written 5 centuries ago and contemplate the fact that we have been writing about the same sun for centuries upon centuries and then maybe you’ll calm down

wakes up on time, showers, gets dressed, eats breakfast, and drinks coffee, then calmly lays back down in bed and goes back to sleep

It’s always “why did you go out in the storm” and “your soaking wet” and never How was the storm The storm looked fun was it fun

someone needs to invent reverse cornflakes. i want to eat a cereal that gives me a demonic erection and inflicts upon me an insatiable lust

the stock market is so silly like girl you made that up