When Jon had been a child, he had disregarded Damian’s boundaries. Not intentionally, but because it is normal for children to grab, pull, and hug one another. Whether Damian complained was irrelevant, since Damian complained about everything.
As they both grew into teenagers and Damian opened up to him more, sharing details about his family life and past, Jon realized how much Damian had struggled to regain his autonomy. How not even his own body had always belonged to him.
And so Jon became more careful.
He paid more attention and really started to listen—not only to what Damian said, but to what his body did. Jon learned to recognize every slight inconsistency, every change in Damian’s breathing and facial expressions, every tension in his muscles, and the sound of his voice when he was trying to mask discomfort. It was easy. They spent so much time together that Jon absorbed all of it without really having to try.
When they were both in their early twenties and somehow ended up in a relationship, Jon became more physically affectionate.
It was just what he was used to from previous relationships. It was how he had learned to give and receive love.
But Damian never initiated. He never reached for Jon first. He always stayed inside his own little bubble, preferring to keep his personal space.
So Jon pulled back. Not because he was bitter, but because he wanted to give Damian space and wait for him to be ready to seek him out.
The problem was that it didn’t work.
The exact opposite happened instead. Damian withdrew—not just physically, but emotionally too.
Jon knew better than most that Damian sometimes needed space. Besides, there was a lot going on. Damian was extremely busy with medical school, and he was working on a case with his father.
Jon would have attributed it all to those circumstances—except Damian’s body language screamed discomfort every time Jon entered the room.
"Damian?" Jon asked one night, leaning against the doorframe of Damian’s living room. The twenty-one year old was sitting on the couch, laptop in his lap, looking up when he heard Jon's voice. "I didn’t expect you today," he said, eyebrows furrowing.
"Yeah, sorry. I just… need to talk to you," Jon admitted, entering the room and sitting down next to his boyfriend.
Jon immediately noticed the way Damian’s heartbeat quicken and his shoulders tense.
"Okay..." Damian said slowly, closing the laptop halfway and looking at Jon somewhat anxiously.
Jon suddenly didn’t know how to continue. He just knew he felt terrible and needed to fix this somehow. "Okay so...no pressure at all, it's just...I feel like we kind of grew apart and—"
"You’re seriously going to break up with me?" Damian blurred out, staring at Jon with wide eyes. His face had gone a sickly color.
For a second Jon just stared at him, caught off guard by the sudden interruption, then he blinked. "What? No."
"No?" Damian asked, now looking confused on top of anxious "But you’ve been distant."
Jon was certain that something in his brain had snapped, because now nothing made sense anymore. "Damian," he said slowly. "What do you think was happening?"
Damian’s expression tightened. "You stopped touching me…"
Jon looked lost. "But… you were the one who grew distant."
"What are you even talking about?" The youngest Wayne sounded irritated now.
Jon rubbed a hand over his face.
"You never initiate anything, Dami. Ever. And I know your history. I was trying to give you the freedom to decide when you wanted to cuddle or whatever. I thought you didn’t like physical contact."
Damian actually looked offended—and a little embarrassed. "Yeah, physical contact from people I barely know, not from you, idiot."
"But you never— you were always so tense, and you never initiated and—"Jon stopped when he noticed that Damian's face had turned red. "Oh...I’m stupid."
Jon pressed his hand against his own forehead. "Oh my god, you were just nervous."
Damian groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Please don’t say that out loud."
Jon laughed despite himself. "This is just… wow." Damian seemed more relaxed than Jon had seen him in weeks—despite the awkward conversation. "I’m sorry, Dames," he said, pulling him close. "For scaring you."
Damian let himself be pulled in, pressing his forehead against Jon’s shoulder with a tired sigh.
Weeks. They had spent weeks accidentally making each other miserable.
"I thought I was respecting your boundaries. I never planned on breaking up," Jon promised.
"I thought you lost interest…", Damian admitted quietly. "It was really stressing me out."
Jon leaned his head against Damian’s. "I’m sorry."
"And I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t want you to...hug me or stuff," Damian said awkwardly. "I have embarrassingly little experience with these things."
Jon snorted. "That’s not embarrassing, it’s hot."
"Stop saying stupid shit."
vaporwave
romaincrisis
2087
titsay
yousharknotpass
