Crying During Sex - Bucky Buchanan
Authors' Note: i see no mature writings for Bucky so let's change that.
Trigger Warning: my writing contains themes of sex, sexual assault, and childhood trauma 21+.
It had been a year and five months since he had last seen her. He knew it was only a matter of time before he showed up, begging her to take him back. He didn't care anymore, he knew he had to get out. His mother wasn't giving him any chance of alone time whatsoever, and she was making things harder on him to leave as it was. 'I have to leave' he thought, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he continued to put his focus into flipping the meat on the hot grill. 'I have to do better'.
The past four years have been a shit show, but he persevered. He kept reminding himself that 'bad company corrupts good character'. He wondered if she still felt the same way, considering what he did. He felt anxiety rising in his chest as he rushed all around the restaurant, racing through his mind the best way to show up for her. To say Bucky wasn't the best boyfriend was an understatement, it was true, he was the biggest asshole.
To put it lightly, after denying his true feelings for so long only got him so far, he realized, he needed to show her that he meant it. Part of him was still wrestling with infidelity, she had caught onto what he was doing behind the scenes with another girl and ultimately, that lead to the downfall of his master plan of needing aa crutch to get by. After he cheated part of him knew he wouldn't be able to go back to it again once he stopped to take a break. He hated himself for how much he hurt her now looking back. He always gets a lump in his throat, or his stomach gets really queasy when thinking about it.
She on the other hand, was optimistic and hopeful about seeing him again. It had taken her a while to forgive him, especially after she had realized he had raped her. But God, told her it was going to be worth it. 'I will keep my promise to you', he commanded, and she believed him. Their past was essentially bittersweet, her part to play in it was equally as worse, she thought.
Just as they met, she was clear on her boundaries, she wanted marriage, a husband, someone to take care of her. She wanted to be the mother of his kids to raise them to be warriors for Christ instead of the world. She didn't realize that part until she threw away her tarot cards and crystals, allowing the Holy Spirit in to do his work. She had raped him too and they both thought it was love, she knew deep down years after she realized he had raped her, that they were only doing those things out of retaliation. She knew that they both would've needed to change in order for them to come back stronger.
However, she had her moments, where it was all to much to take and she was frustrated with what God was doing. 'Abba how am I supposed to take him back after what he did?' 'Trust me', and that's when she realized, that they both hurt each other. She felt ashamed, but her faith in God was bigger. 'When the time is right, I will make it happen'. Okay, she thought 'I'll just trust him, it can't be that hard.'
But it was that hard, a year ago, God had her leave the toxic work environment that was killing her peace since then she's been living off the local food pantries that hand out food and hygiene products. God said no, so no means no. It's been hard for her but in retrospect she wouldn't change being obedient because those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the earth, evildoers will be cut off. For the most part, she feels embarrassed but knows that the world will of course judge her, and then she realizes she can't care because the world is evil. All in all, she misses him like hell she prays for him and waits for the day they get back together.
'Tonight could be the night', he says to himself, it has to be perfect. That was his fatal flaw, never able to see anything through because it had to be a certain way. 'Trust me' a voice calls to him from above, as he finished wrapping up and taking the garbage out. God calls him to make a move. 'Abba, I can't not yet' 'You will obey me' 'Go now'.
'Fine, fuck it'. He leaves with nothing on him, starting his trek from the restaurant to her house. It was about an hour and thirty minute walk, he felt the anxiety rise and fall in his chest as he turned the corner of Munson Avenue, his forehead gleaming with sweat 'just don't say the wrong thing, what if she doesn't want to talk?' He shook off that anxious thought, he doubted it. Maybe now, it was the feeling in his stomach he knew as intuition but he knew she had been waiting to indulge in deeper things.
For both of them, their minds have been on one particular activity, while he was horny, he knew an apology was in order. For months he hadn't had any close contact with any other girls since he got caught, and rightfully so, he wanted to stay loyal to her. If one got closer and asked him what his intentions were, he'd probably say he'd want to marry her. As plain as that, no hesitation. As he continued walking he could feel his penis become semi-hard, he knew that once he saw her, he was done for.
For her, she was in her apartment, getting ready for bed, she felt hopeful. Knowing deep down he would come back, on God's timing. She felt as if their was no other guy for her, Bucky, in her mind, was the only guy for her. She remained loyal even after he smear campaigned her and drug her through the mud. She had been laying down in her bonnet when she hears a knock on her door, she questions herself 'who would be knocking on my door now?'
She gets up from bed and heads to the door, pulling it open to see her lover, she widens her eyes in surprise. 'Oh, hello'. She pushes back her bonnet and keeps a tight grip on the door. 'Miss me?' He asks with a chuckle, he was absolutely in love with the rawest version of her.
He'd expect nothing less of a girl who's just getting ready to bunker down. 'Uhm yes... why do you think I've been waiting? I trust your word'. 'Thank you'. 'Come in, you must be hungry'. He thought about it for a minute, his stomach grumbled gently. 'I could eat', he steps into the atmosphere and there's no furniture in her apartment, he knew that later on, he would come in handy when purchasing a couch and entertainment center for their shared apartment.
She walked to the kitchen and picked out a salad and crepes for him to have, whatever she had in the fridge at this point. He wouldn't judge or complain, he knew she was doing it out of love. She was quiet, trying to gather back her thoughts so she could ask him questions. 'How was the walk?' 'It was decent, I didn't think it would be this easy to get over here'. His mind briefly flashes back to the time his mom sexually assaulted him in the bath, he was two, and still feared her to death to this day.
She knew this, and she felt bad for him. He showed her months before in a dream, of what had occurred, and she believed him. She always knew their was something wrong with his mother, she could just never put her finger on what was wrong. 'That's good, how do you feel after getting out? Is the freedom better than you imagined?' 'It's still new for me, I'd say its' a little better than I originally thought, because of my anxiety'.
She felt happy, her dreams were finally coming true. She heated the microwave to the time of defrost and pressed start, then she took out the salad and prepped it in a large bowl, adding orange sauce and mixing the contents and adding them into a smaller bowl for him. He watched and felt safe with her, knowing she always went above and beyond to help him. 'Can I give you a hug?' He asked gently, steppign forward to reach out for her arm 'Sure'. She hesitated, the last time she felt his touch was four years ago, the last time they hung out, before their breakup.
She wondered if he felt the same, but something inside her told her to go for it. She turned to engulf him in a light hug, her arms wrapped around his torso, her head resting gently and perfectly in his chest. He felt all the weight of his past and what he had been dealing with recently fade away. 'I'm sorry'... he felt it slip out naturally, he wasn't concerned about a response, he just knew it was time to make amends. 'Its' okay'.
She hummed against his chest, and lifted her head to look him in the eyes, her hands began rubbing up snd down his back. He felt warm, he could feel his cock growing harder by the sight of her softness. He'd swear that all he wanted to do was corrupt her, she could feel his hard shaft fit perfectly against her shorts, the tip of her women hood gently meeting his with a kiss. She gasped and pulled away. Before realizing that his strong arms were holding onto her, and she couldn't escape. 'You need to eat first daddy, you have the be patient'.
His mind couldn't register this new version of her, she was different, submissive. That's what he liked, but he knew se was right. His stomach began growling again, he was getting hungrier. She handed him his salad and he began to chow down, the crepes with spinach were plated and he ate it quickly. 'Let's get you in comfy clothes, I went to the local food pantry and got you some sleeping shorts'.
His heart fluttered, he finished his glass of water and put both his plate and cup inside the sink. She went to show him the drawer of clothes in her room, and the shirts hanging in the closet. 'That's very kind of you'- but she cut him off 'you need it. She made you leave with no clothes, that's not right daddy'. He sighed and smiled, knowing she was right.
She picked out red and black sleeping shorts and set them on the dresser 'I think i should give you some space to change'. She stared down at his crotch, pursing her lips before she started to head for the door. 'I didn't come all this way for you to not see me naked'. He grabbed her hand and spun her around, pressing into her body she gasped and let out a soft moan. 'Daddy I'. She groaned in frustration, it wasn't long before shed waited so long, that God told her to stop masturbating, and in turn, she would deny her sexual needs and pretend they didn't exist.
'Trust me'. His arms snake around her waist to cup the bottom of her ass, he gently squeezed down with her soft plush behind in hand. He felt on top of the world, she let out gentle moans, her forehead resting against his chest. She leaned back pushing her ass into his hand with gentle moans. 'Tell me what you need'. He speaks lowly, his brown eyes filled with love and a mixture of lust 'I need to be punished daddy'.
She had been waiting for everything that would lead up to this point, and he felt the same. He suddenly, but gently, pushed her down onto the bed, eyeing her as she crawled back towards the wall, reaching to take off her shirt. Feeling bold but insecure, she bite her lip watching as he sprung fourth from his work pants. 'it's okay' he reassured her, knowing she was still insecure about how she was made. She moaned as she crawled towards him, rising onto her knees, taking half of his shaft in her mouth.
She let out moans, and he felt a sense of euphoria, with her tongue twirling around his tip. He moans and gripped the back of her head for support, 'baby, i need you'. He speaks in shuddered breathes, biting down on his bottom lip. She continued to pump her head up and down across his shaft, holding her breathe as she pushed past her gag reflex. Sounds of her sucking him off filled the room, Bucky let out a string of moans and curses.
'Oh uhh oh fuck'. She gently released him form her mouth and moved to rub him in gentle motions. She bit down her lip as she looked up at him from below 'how does that feel?' She asked him, her other hand reaching to gently fondle his scrotum. He moaned and shook his head 'That's good baby', a grunt 'keep going'.
She licked and kissed his scrotum, using her tongue to take them in her mouth sucking on them. He felt his eyes close and he threw his head back, moaning continually. 'Baby I'm close'. He speaks gently, taking hold of her under her jaw. She moans against him to confirm, she knows she can feel him twitch in between rubs.
She bites her lips and speeds up the pace of jacking him off before reattaching her mouth to take his seed down her throat. He moans and releases in her mouth, she moans as she tastes the hot seed on her tongue, feeling accomplished and full. He pushes her down and gets on top of her, his lips pressing against hers in a heated manner. His arms wrap around her torso, clipping under her shorts to rip them off of her. 'I've missed you'.
She bites down on her lip, as he admires her beautiful frame. She pushes her brown curls out of the way, he brings his hand up to cup her cheek, with his thumb he brings it into her mouth. He let's out a moan, she brings her left hand to hold onto his wrist as he let his thumb rest in her mouth. 'I've missed you too'. He moans, he wanted to make it clear he wasn't just their for sex, but to take care of her.
He forgets of the ring he had brought with him, in his pants pocket, 'I'll get it after' he thought, he caresses her jaw, his mouth slack open. 'I need you daddy'... she whispers fully embracing her nudeness, her legs open and inviting. He starts to kiss down her neck, letting his tongue graze the surface of her soft skin, she clings to him wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. She nuzzles her crotch against his to keep warm, he lets out a string of moans, taking in her beauty as he cups her cheek with his hand. 'Baby.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you'. She nods gently as she looks deeply into his brown eyes for comfort 'I'm sorry too, for hurting you too'.
'Daddy I need you to stretch me out with your fingers'. He winces in sexual frustration, he lifts his left hand towards her mouth, playing with her lips first before she graciously let him in. Her tongue swirled around the tip of his finger before she used her glands to make more spit, using the rest to get the other finger wet. 'I'll be gentle i promise'. He cupped her cheek and rubbed the surface, gaining her trust she slowly unraveled her body, letting him in.
Licking both fingers, he looked down at the feast that lay before him and he couldn't help but feel his heart swell. 'You're beautiful baby'. He smiled down at her with delight, pushing two of his digits into her body. He could feel the tightness expanding as he fingered her, she was semi-wet, and tight. He scooted down so his body was hanging off the bed, knees to the floor 'let me just'- his lips attached to her folds, letting his tongue explore her sacred area.
She let out a string of moans and watched as he pushed his forefinger in and out, he bites down on his lip and goes back in for the kill. Using his tongue to please her, the sounds became vigorous as he sped up and slowed down. she moaned and rocked her body to the motion of his fingers, once he added a second digit she whined 'Daddy ahh'. 'Shh you can take it'. She plops her head back down on the pillow and releases herself onto his fingers.
He meets her at eye level once more, rubbing his penis on the middle of her thigh as he moves to connect their lips once more. She wraps her arms around his neck to pull him closer, their lips moving together in harmony. He slips himself in and she lets her mouth slowly fall agape, he groans and moves back and fourth in a slowing motion. 'Daddy, I've missed you so much'. She whines against his chest he kisses her head, the smell of coconut entering his nostrils.
He releases inside her and she comes too, both of them laying their afterward in silence. 'I have a surprise for you'. He speaks before he reaches towards his pant pocket, she sits up to see him pul out a small box, her heart skipping beats. 'Marry me'. He simply asks she s=bites down on her lip and leans in to kiss him 'I do'.
